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On Our Best Behavior
- The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
- Narrated by: Elise Loehnen
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
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Publisher's Summary
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A groundbreaking exploration of the ancient rules women unwittingly follow in order to be considered “good,” revealing how the Seven Deadly Sins still control and distort our lives and illuminating a path toward a more balanced, spiritually complete way to live
Why do women equate self-denial with being good?
We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses—often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts—are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins.
Since being codified by the Christian church in the fourth century, the Seven Deadly Sins—pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth—have exerted insidious power. Even today, in our largely secular, patriarchal society, they continue to circumscribe women’s behavior. For example, seeing sloth as sinful leads women to deny themselves rest; a fear of gluttony drives them to ignore their appetites; and an aversion to greed prevents them from negotiating for themselves and contributes to the 55 percent gender wealth gap.
In On Our Best Behavior, Loehnen reveals how we’ve been programmed to obey the rules represented by these sins and how doing so qualifies us as “good.” This probing analysis of contemporary culture and thoroughly researched history explains how women have internalized the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover the integrity and wholeness we seek.
What the critics say
“What if women finally found freedom—because we gave it to ourselves? Elise Loehnen brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming and helps us to see that what we thought were our sins are actually our greatest virtues. This book is the gift we have all been waiting for.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
“A stunning, big, and bold encyclopedia of how to live—the first post-pandemic book to take our latest measurements and provide something fresh to comfort, embolden, enlighten, and enrich who we are today . . . On Our Best Behavior is nothing short of a tangible necessity in our new intangible world.”—Lisa Taddeo, New York Times bestselling author of Three Women
“A raw cri de coeur, penetrating social analysis, and revealing personal reflection . . . Elise Loehnen deftly deconstructs one of the central ideological buttresses of patriarchal society: the shaming of women for having human desires, strengths, capacities, and strivings of body, mind, and soul. Doing so, she provides a guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self.”—Gabor Maté, MD, New York Times bestselling author of The Myth of Normal
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What listeners say about On Our Best Behavior
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- Jordan
- 2023-07-21
Life changing
Absolutely incredible. Insightful and thought provoking. Changed everything about how I saw myself and other women. If everyone listened to this we would love in a much happier world.
LOVE!
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- Sarah
- 2023-06-17
Phenomenal
This is such an important read and I feel like I’ve been needing exactly this story as she tells it to help me learn to satiate the constant yearning and uncomfortable feelings I have inside. It is insightful and logical. I really enjoyed the structure of the book and the research Lyndsay included. I’m going to listen to this again as there was so much useful information it was challenging to retain it all in one go. This is hands down my favourite book, ever. Thank you so much for this from the bottom of my heart. It has given me hope and direction.
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- Mel M
- 2023-06-25
Wow.
This book opened my eyes and gave words to things I knew but could not articulate. Thoroughly enjoyed!
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- Leanne Axelsen
- 2023-05-27
🤯
I have been waiting for this book for years now. As I have been trying to identify and unlearn so many things this book articulates key areas that keep us stuck. Powerful read.
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- Amazon Customer
- 2024-06-02
Awakening
I couldn’t succinctly review this book, but I will read it again and then probably again.
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- Sheri Foley
- 2023-07-15
Life changing Insight
From beginning to end of this book I continuously learned and found thought provoking concepts. I know that I will read it again to revisit ideas and self reflect about them. I’m going to recommend this book to my family and friends.
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- Anonymous User
- 2023-09-16
Incredibly powerful!
So thought provoking and full of insight and research connecting historical and anthropological perspectives. Well researched, and beautifully shared vulnerable personal stories - just an amazing work to put together.
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- Lisa Bayliss
- 2024-06-02
I hated this book
I was expecting to hear some new take on being a woman… this was horrible. Elise just regurgites other peoples opinions and then throws in a personal anecdote once in a while. “My nanny blah blah, am I right everyone?” No. Most of us can’t relate. Save yourself from this monotone drone and read Brene Brown, Nora Mcinerny, Gabor Mate, Kate Bowler, Ann Lamott… basically everyone she just quotes in this book. THEY are interested, THEY have something noteworthy to say. I only trudged through this book because it was assigned at my book club. And I’m not tearing Elise down because I’m a jealous woman hater. I just hated this book.
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