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I wrote “Listening to Ecstasy” to come out of the chemical closet. At my age (I’m 71) I’m tired of pretending I’m not who I am. Also I discovered that MDMA has a lot to teach about how to live better through times like these.
I know some people are scared these days about everything that’s going on, but I want you to know -- it’s all going to work out. And right now, it’s all about staying connected to friends and family, and staying open hearted and open minded during these strange times. I found out that MDMA can make the journey a better one – at least it has for this author!
Some facts about me:
I’ve been a psychotherapist for the past thirty years and a “psychonaut” (one who uses psychedelics) the past fifty. (I like that word. A psychonaut is to inner space what an astronaut is to outer space. Both are explorers who have glimpsed the Greater Picture.)
I’m a New York State licensed psychoanalyst and mental health counselor specializing in relationships and communication skills. I see my psychotherapy practice as my way of changing the world, one person at a time.
I completed my post-graduate training at the Gestalt Associates for Psychotherapy in New York and I’ve continued my professional development the past ten years at New York’s Soma-Psyche Institute, where I learn intuition and empathic attunement skills.
Some people in my tribe here in New York call me their “Psychedelic Grandpa.” Others have called me “The Love Doctor.” But I’m just a dude in his early 70s who’s still exploring and trying to build a better world.
My life seemed to be set up from the start to take the road most didn’t. Maybe I was influenced by my childhood friend, comedian Andy Kaufman. I always saw things differently than the people around me.
Although I was raised in the suburbs of Long Island, I didn’t grow up until I left. The best thing about my early years there was learning what money could not buy.
Certain that revolution was right around the corner, I quit college (and didn’t return for decades) and established a small community of hippie runaways and AWOL soldiers in New York’s East Village in 1969, while earning a living as a cab driver.
When the counter-culture imploded in the early ‘70’s, I had to set off on a solitary journey to find myself. This entailed individual psychoanalysis, group therapy, as well as Gestalt and Primal Scream therapy. In addition, I attended transformational weekend workshops like est, Robert Bly’s men’s work, the Sterling Men’s Weekend, the Landmark Forum, and naked week-long encounter groups in the California woods.
I’ve lived through it all, and now it all lives through me.
One thing I want to share with you is that I’m a late bloomer. I didn’t decide to become a psychotherapist until I had a midlife crisis at age 40. And I didn’t find the love of my life (my second wife) until I was 51. Shelley was 49 when we met. Our combined age was not 100, however, but more like 10. We found it’s never too late for anything…not even to have a happy childhood! (The story of our marriage has been featured – twice – in The New York Times.)
Eventually, with Shelley, I came to realize that MDMA conveys the same ethic my generation fought for: Personal and societal transformation through the practice of peace and love.
MDMA opened up my life at midlife, unexpectedly, to a new world of friendship, love, joy, healing, fun…and a sense of truly belonging. With our friends, we keep each other young. What a surprise it is to learn that one can age youthfully!
Shelley and I live what I call a front-loaded life: We know that tomorrow is promised to no one, and so we don’t live for then. We live for now. We know it can all be taken away in a flash (see the book for this story). Now is all we’ve got. For us, this works well.
I’ve been a New York City resident since 1969, and currently live in Brooklyn.
And all this time, the one thing I never wrote about, except in private journals, was my drug experimentation. I decided I can no longer bear hiding in the chemical closet and am now ready to tell the story of my secret life.
If you want to come along for the ride and become fellow travelers a while, and see what I’ve seen and learn what I’ve learned, welcome aboard!
I’ve heard it be said that “You live when you give.” With this book (“Listening to Ecstasy,”) I give all I’ve got away, and this makes me feel alive. People say they feel more alive while reading it. I’ll let you be the judge of that.
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