Great Listen

Great story so far. I know you will like it as well. I am just starting on Pt. 2.

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Great Story *spoiler*

I really liked this story. Wasn't too fond about how shrill the fairy was. I do think there were a lot of missed opportunities.

Early on it was said that the Ryan found a bunch of metals including Iron, and he absorbed weapons, yet he only made his walls out of stone. You'd think after the first time the Necromancer showed up that he would have reinforced his core room surrounding it by super thick magically reinforced Iron or steel instead of just Stone. He could have also made the Dungeon walls this way. Or had premade slabs that he made when he had the mana that he could drop in place when needed. He could also have made a bunch of Metal spike stalagtites that were magically reinforced on the ceilings all over the place. Or had the ceilings made of 20ft thick magically reinforced iron which he could drop as a whole in any room. He had plenty of time to do this.Also the Dungeon could have just been designing new floors at night and had hundreds of floors going down whether they were populated or not, so when it was time to upgrade it wouldn't take him that long. After all the farther he expanded he got a little experience but most of all his mana regenerated faster. I'd be expanding like mad both horizontal and vertical constantly.

Since he could already write, he should have set up some sort of equivalent exchange pot , like drop in a book, or object, a plant, or type of metal the dungeon hasn't seen before and the dungeon will give you some coin of equal value etc... That shouldn't be against the rules.

I think Ryan was missing a lot of expansion opportunities as well. Personally I would have had multiple versions/configurations of each floor going off in different directions that he could open/close on different days. He could have been making tons of different bosses that wouldn't have taken up his points, he could only have 1 up for a floor at a time, then he could have a rotation. Ryan also never put any bosses in the fight club to fight versions of themselves, which he could do at night since no one came in the dungeon then, so he had hours with all of his points.

I'm also surprised it he didn't early on decorate his core room to look better / have other chambers and furniture / stuff to do for the fairy.

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For early teens at best

There's only so much of a fairy flirting with a rock I can take. The lead has the personality of, well, a dumb rock. They made fighting skeletons boring. This is like twilight for men and dungeon core subgenre fans, different restaurant same flavor. Can bring myself to finish it.

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copy

the start is a shamefull replica of dungeon born. Even copies the annoying nagging dungeon whisp like everyone loves a nag and the corny naming convention. And dbag cores kowtowing to nagging sprites. I wonder if the genre is written by virgins. The music is terrible and doesn't fit the atmosphere sounds like circus music. The core sounds like a whiny brown nosing child. Hes a core with no anatomy why is he trying so hard like a lost puppy.

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