Can you imagine going to bed every night knowing you might wake up blind, deaf, paralyzed, or worse - not at all? 

Ellis Michaels doesn't have to imagine it. He's been living it for decades. And so have thousands of others diagnosed with Behcet's disease. 

Like Crohn's, Lupus, fibromialgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, MS, and dozens of other illnesses, Behcet's is an autoimmune disease. Though each is unique, they all cause the body to attack itself. And Ellis' body has been kicking the crap out of him for decades. Here are just a few of the horrible symptoms he's experienced:

• Massive blood clots (DVTs) in both legs
• A clot in his inferior vena cava (vein going to the heart) 
• Deep, open ulcers in his mouth 
• Quarter-sized open sores on his...on the last place a guy would want them 
• Severe eye inflammation leading to blindness that literally happened overnight 
• Golf-ball-sized cysts on his face, neck, and ears 

And that was all before Ellis had even turned 18. 

Living with Behcet's disease (sometimes called Behcet's syndrome) can be an everyday struggle filled with pain and suffering. And while Ellis' journey has been a bumpy one to say the least, filled with depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and at times utter despair, he's managed to live an awesome life in spite of his diagnosis. By learning to see the silver linings of his illness, by focusing on the positives instead of the negatives, Ellis transformed his mind, his body, and his entire life. This is the story of how Ellis Michaels managed to find happiness through the pain and embarrassment of living with Behcet's disease. 

This memoir contains language and subject matter that might not be suitable for sensitive readers including drug use, mental illness, sex, and suicide. If you find these topics or occasional profanity distasteful, this book won't be your cup of tea. But Behcet's is a distasteful disease and can't be discussed in an open and honest manner without including these things.