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I Have Feelings for You

Auteur(s): Mano Karthick Arvind BJ
Narrateur(s): Mano Karthick Arvind BJ
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Description

Tough times. Life threw challenges and failures in ways that I never imagined. Just like any reasonable human, I felt unsure, unclear, and even wondered if there is anything called a future.

Uncertainty loomed all around me. When I wanted answers, all I got back was more and more questions. I doubted myself for almost everything. As memories tried to topple me, I decided to get some fresh air.

"Can you just forget everything that happened and move on?" my mind suggested.

Well, forgetting memories was the toughest thing ever. It kind of goes away for some time and then comes back soon. And when it comes back, it appears even more intense. Maybe because I never came to terms with what happened.

I took a deep breath, decided to accept everything that happened, and then tried to move on. I noticed something interesting. Whenever I accepted a failure, I felt my soul getting energy to rejuvenate. Every challenge I decided to face with even more resilience helped my soul to rejuvenate further. Then, I decided to make the process of rejuvenation even more rewarding.

I started setting some smaller goals. Just the right size that I can easily achieve. I achieved the goal and earned the reward of feeling capable. At every feel-capable moment, I started setting newer goals. A set of newer and stronger goals. Whenever I work towards and achieve it, my soul wanted more.

My inner soul had a quick realization: “Feeling capable is never about running away from what made you feel like you are not. It’s about accepting your true self and getting ready to build your new self. And just few steps at a time.”

All I wanted was a sense of feeling myself again. Because I knew I was capable. It's a bliss to know what we want. And it's even blissful if we know how to get it. When you know what you want and put your heart and soul into it, Mother Nature will help you learn how to get it. And there came a ding!

Oh yeah!

My best friends reached out to me after almost 17 years. It was such a big surprise. Nobody can love me like my best friends. They were the spark and joy I much needed to get to what I want. If I'm who I am today, it's because of them.

I literally felt relieved and hopeful after talking to them. And when they remembered all things about me, it included the times when I scribbled poems. As they suggested, I started writing poems again by infusing words to emote feelings. Then I thought, why not a book?

I set a newer goal - let me create my first book. A book about true emotions. With no filters, but only with the right to express in the right form! And that is how it started. Here, with the love of my family and with the trust of my best friends, I'm going to emote some real feelings in form of stories and poems for you.

Are you ready to take an emotional ride with me?

©2020 Mano Karthick Arvind.B.J (P)2022 Mano Karthick Arvind.B.J
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