There is a better way for most of us to live. It is one based on ancient Buddhist principles of compassion. Robin King shows you how to do it in her new book Self-Compassion: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Free Yourself from Destructive Thoughts, and Build Inner Strength.

This book breaks new ground in the subject area of self-compassion. It offers an easy-to-understand discussion and a step-by-step approach to the recovery process.

King begins the book by revealing how the stress and competition of modern life drive us into destructive, hypercritical, self-punishing inner narratives that prevent us from ever experiencing real happiness or joy. He calls them our “inner committee” and shows how most of us have one in our heads. He also mentions the different ways we experience competitive stress. Our value is measured as commodities in our work environments. Our bodies are objectified and compared. We are tested on everything in school. 

He then describes how many of us also have been victims of childhood trauma, abuse, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These experiences compound the problems and make it more difficult to recover. The good news is that people like this can heal just like others when they learn to practice self-compassion. Based on the psychotherapeutic program first developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion therapy has deep roots in Buddhist practice, where compassion is considered one of the four highest emotions. Neff has three primary components to self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. 

King explains how each component of the therapy works and why each is necessary. With self-kindness, we learn to treat ourselves as we would our own best friend. We forgive our mistakes and give ourselves affirmations. With common humanity, we realize we are not alone. Everyone makes mistakes. Our compassion for ourselves is connected to our compassion for others. With Mindfulness, we learn to be in the moment and look at our feelings without judgment.  

Next, King encourages the listener to take a short online quiz to assess the degree to which they are self-compassionate. The free quizzes are available at two locations online. One of them is available at Dr. Neff's website, and the other is accessible at the New York Times website. After learning their results, many listeners will decide to go further and look at their options for free online therapy. 

King points the way to a variety of options, while always encouraging the listener to seek out therapeutic help from a professional for aid in getting through emotional experiences that are painful.

The book also recommends using inner child therapy as a method for healing our wounded inner child and providing our child self-compassion. King provides sample self-compassion inner child exercises along with other self-compassion exercises. There is also a long section of the book devoted to self-acceptance and how to attain it. Learning self-acceptance is about learning to accept our weaknesses, as well as our strengths and to let go of our perfectionism.