Odyssey has a new unfettered trollop ... and she has her sights set on one John Avery Whittaker (ever heard of him?). Prepare to get nasty, bitches, because Margaret Faye is bursting onto the scene with expansive cleavage and pliant views on scriptural authority. It's time for FOR WHOM THE WEDDING BELLS TOLL, PART 1, the opening chapter Percy and Parsnip's favorite triumvirate of Adventures in Odyssey episodes (WE KNOW THEY'RE TOXIC AS HECK OK).

Is Jason Whittaker circumcised? That's what we discuss in this episode. And it's relevant, technically, because that was a big decision Whit had to make, and another big decision he has to make is whether to leave Odyssey again! See? Apropos! (Nice one, Percy)

*shhh... use your quiet voices and walking feet because percy, parsnip, and pigeon are meditating, and we don't want to disturb them. this week's episode is about the adventures in odyssey episode solitary refinement, in which eugene goes to a monastery and uses his dreams to force katrina to admit she was wrong. or maybe katrina is a dreamwalker. it's honestly hard to tell from the episode. now, take a deep breath in, and focus all your attention on your pinkie toes...*

Whit is finally returning to Odyssey, but the question on everybody’s mind is: Will he resume his sexual relationship with Tom, or will he go back to his OG lover, Jack? And the second question we’re ALL asking: What kind of PJs does Whit wear? Also, what kind of elderly adaptive bathing equipment exists for senior shower sex? We’ve got the answers to all that and more in this week’s episode of 2 Whits 1 Cup, as we discuss HOME SWEET HOME, Adventures in Odyssey’s surreal homecoming goon session for John Avery Whittaker.

We didn’t go three weeks between episodes, YOU’RE the crazy one. Anyway, James Dobson is dead. So we’re discussing The Right Choice, Part 2, as Katrina goes Tonya Harding on the Nancy Kerrigan of Eugene's heart. As such, we break down (old) Survivor and (current) Bachelor in Paradise. Don’t forget to message @2whits1cup on Instagram if you want to buy Percy’s sweaty tennis socks. This week’s discussion question: How slutty do you think Armitage Shanks' tennis outfit was? Also, for SEO purposes only: Adventures in Odyssey, Focus on the Family, feet.

OH GIRLS DO WE HAVE SOME GOSSIP THIS WEEK! Ok so like Eugene is in Chicago and wants to visit Katrina — except unreliable reports are suggesting she’s moments away from marrying F*&^ING Brandon! So he’s going to go break it up, and MAN OH MAN DOES IT GET JUICY. And like … super toxic. But hey, it’s a romantic relationship in Adventures in Odyssey. That’s what we’re all here for.

This week, Jacob from The Socialist Shelf had too much time on his hands — or perhaps not enough self-respect — and waded through Whit’s bushy tunnel with us for The Search for Whit, Part 3. The plot of this Adventures in Odyssey episode is a remarkable achievement in that it’s banal, offensive, and utterly lacking in coherence — all while teaching children that honest discovery should have no bearing on their acceptance of fairy tales as 100% true.

Buy Jacob’s book! https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/roundfire-books/our-books/they-called-her-rebel

Listen to The Socialist Shelf!

https://www.socialistshelf.com/

Watch gay pornography!

(Check your history tab for the link, you sinner)

Let's head back to Israel, but don't get your hopes too high, because this is Part 2 of an Adventures in Odyssey three-parter, so you know it'll suck. But HEY. We don't suck unless it's consensually and on genitals, so join us for both a Hoot and a Holler as we (by the fatalistic forces of an established radio program and not our own volition) continue The Search for Whit!