I don't like to perform a wedding unless I can first have several premarital counseling sessions with the couple. I remember when I told my youngest son (he was very young at that time) that I was going to be performing a wedding ceremony for one of the women on our staff. But the way I said it was this: "Hey, guess what? I'm going to be marrying Margaret." He burst into tears. He said, "What about Mommy?"

So I've cleaned up my vocabulary a little bit, but I won't perform a wedding unless I can first counsel that couple. I'll tell you why. You need to get some of the stars out of their eyes. "I love him!" "I love her!" Well, that's great, but most pre-married couples need an emotional optometrist who can help them take a little more honest look at this person that they really do love. So I try to give them some emotional glasses to see who is really there. I think those sessions are a "must" and in fact I even give some tests to show the differences in expectations and in their perceptions of each other. Why? Well, because of the truth of three time-tested words, "Love is (fill in the blank) blind." No it isn't! Not really.

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Love Has X-Ray Vision."

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Philippians 1:9-10. This is a great prayer here! In fact, I think it's a prayer we ought to just pray right out of scripture on behalf of some people we care about. Here it is: "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight." It doesn't sound like love is blind there, does it? "And I want to pray this so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ."

Now, the word that's used here is agape love. Of the several Greek words that could be used, this is the one for divine love; it's the highest form. He says, "I pray that your agape will abound more and more." And he said that agape love is insightful. It's not just blindly accepting of everything. This applies to all your relationships, not just romantic relationships.

Then he gives here some solid guidelines for all the important choices that you are making at this stage of your life. He says that this knowledgeable love will make you able to discern. It really means to test. Test what? Well, I want you to have the kind of love, God is saying here, that's able to check out what is best.

The Greek word that's used here is one that literally means to carry through. What's worth carrying through life? I want you to be able to discern that. It's often translated "more valuable" in the Bible. When you put it together it seems to say this, "Authentic love checks out every choice and chooses what's really worth the most."

That kind of thinking settled it for my oldest son one day when he was trying to spend all of his allowance on junk food at the store. But he didn't, and when he left he said, "Dad, I decided I'd spend on what lasts." That's what this is talking about. Some people have us believe that love is this syrupy, naive, acceptance of everyone and everything. But actually, that was pretty tough, because it keeps asking, "What's really best in this situation? What will last?" Not, "What's more comfortable, what's more fun, what's more acceptable, or what's more materially profitable?" No, what's more eternally valuable?

You can have that discernment in your daily choices the same way the first-century believers did. You've got to pray for it. Ask for it often. Like Superman, you can have x-ray vision, but to see the things that are really valuable. God can give you powerful inner eyes when you open up to His discerning love. When you have love, God's way, it's not blind - it has x-ray vision.

I don't get sick very often, but that one year I did pick up the special flu bug of the year. Which, of course, meant my wife soon followed suit. We believed in sharing everything. Then our friend, Janice, got a similar flu - sick for four or five days. Then her husband got it - sick for four or five days. Then their lucky daughter took her turn - sick for four or five days. Their teenage son was the only one who didn't get it. His mom said he was the one walking around the house with a can of Lysol all the time! You can almost count on it - when one person is infected with a germ, it's probably going to end up infecting the people closest to them.

I'm Ron Hutchcraft, and I want to have A Word With You today about "The Cure for Family Germs."

Every family has them - those germs that get passed around the family. And they're not all the kind you go to a doctor for. The most virulent, most damaging family infections of all come from moral germs, spiritual germs, some of which have infected generations or are in the process right now of being passed on to yet another generation.

One writer tells about his friend, George, and the angry explosions he had with his wife - angry words which unfortunately his little son could sometimes hear down the hall in his room. There was one particularly bitter argument where George yelled to his wife, "I don't need you. I don't want you, and I can't stand you!" A few weeks later, George was awakened by sounds down the hall from his bedroom. They were coming from his little boy's room. George tiptoed down there and he stood and listened in horror as his son was angrily telling a stuffed animal of his, "I don't need you. I don't want you. I can't stand you!"

That's how the family diseases are transmitted from one generation to the next. There are those weaknesses that scarred our parents' lives, probably their parents' lives, and who knows how many other generations! Tragically, we tend to carry that baggage into our lives and then infect another generation with them. We seem to be unable to stop the things in us that hurt most the people we love most: that anger, that selfishness, the criticism, the abuse, the addictions, the negativity.

But there's wonderful news about our family infections in our word for today from the Word of God in 1 Peter 1:18-19. Listen. God says, "You were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, with the precious blood of Christ." Translation: there is a connection between my hurtful weakness and what Jesus Christ did when He died on the cross. If I open myself up to the love and the power of Jesus Christ, the disease can stop in this generation! I can be in the Bible's word "redeemed" from it.

The central disease we all have that poisons our closest relationships is the disease of me - a disease the Bible calls sin. That's just a life you run instead of God running it, and it can only be conquered by the One who died to pay the death penalty for all our sinning, and that's Jesus. When you put your total trust in Him to be your "Savior" from all your sin, He enters your life. He unleashes His power which raised Him from the dead to start changing you from the inside out.

The Bible says, "If anyone is in Christ, he's a new creation. The old has gone. A new life has begun." If you're ready to finally be forgiven, if you're ready to finally be free, then you're ready to begin a relationship with Jesus Christ.

What you do is you say to Him, "Jesus, I'm pinning all my hope on you because you died for me. I am yours beginning today." That's a new beginning for you and for your family. I'd love to share with you more how you can be sure you belong to Him and what this relationship can do for you at our website. And it's got a name that's appropriate - ANewStory.com. That's what it's about - a new story for you.

The spiritual infections in your family - haven't they done enough damage? And the Man who died for you is willing to begin His miracle healing of your past, your present, and your future. Think what it could mean to you and to those you love, "It stops here - in this generation! Because Jesus is running things now!"

If you live in a place like Florida for example, this word probably doesn't mean much to you - winter, cold, or furnace. See, during the summer you don't give your furnace a thought, but in the winter up north it makes life bearable. That's why when we lived in New Jersey I was not a very happy camper when I woke up and felt a very cold nose coming out of the covers. (No, I didn't sleep with a dog...it was my nose!) And I felt a cold floor under my feet where there was no carpet. And then I would peek out the window and see a very low temperature out there.

Now, my first stop was the furnace downstairs. If it wasn't working I knew what to do. I called our family doctor. You say, "What? You don't call..." No, that's right, I didn't call the doctor. I called our neighbors and told them the furnace wasn't working. You say, "Wait a minute, what good does that do?" No, I called the newspaper delivery boy and said, "My furnace isn't working!" I called the post office and said, "Hey, can you fix my furnace?" You say, "Ron, none of those calls will help. Call the furnace man!" I did.

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Tell the Person Who Can Fix It."

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Matthew 5. We begin at verse 23. Jesus said, "If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember your brother has something against you, leave your gift..." He says forget the religious stuff. Don't do your spiritual thing. No, "leave your gift in front of the altar. First (in other words, before you do your thing with God), go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift."

There's a parallel passage in Matthew 18:15 - "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." It talks about involving other people from the church if that doesn't work. But the pattern is the same in both cases - go straight to the person. Now, we're not talking about a furnace here, but we're talking about a relationship that's not working. And Jesus addresses one of these dark corners of human nature.

We've got this tendency to talk to everyone about the problem we have with this person except the person we have the problem with. And that sin divides families, it divides friends, it divides churches, it divides ministries, and maybe you are in the middle of one of those poisonous situations right now. Jesus says there's only one way to go when you have a problem with another person - straight to that person.

We'd rather gripe to other people, we'd rather gather support for our side, get sympathy, form some power block of people who agree with us, and give the Devil an open door he can drive a truck through. The irony is that none of those other people can fix what's wrong. The problem you've got is with this person.

Now, we know it would be dumb to tell the letter carrier about our cold furnace, or the garbage man. Wouldn't that make you ask, "Hey, do you just want to gripe or do you want a solution?" Then why do we go to all the wrong people when there's a break in a relationship or some hurt? Going to the person involved is the only way it can really be fixed. You can be a relationship radical if you'll covenant to go direct in a world that would rather gossip and backstab.

You can be an agent of real love and real peace if you always stay away from the back room, the back-biting, and you speak directly to that other person. That other person? They may respond or they may not respond, but you have done the only thing Jesus can bless, and you can sleep well tonight.

So, whether it's a furnace, a family member or a friend, tell the person who can fix it.