Welcome to A Year and a Day. I’m Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt. In this re-run episode, I’m talking with Kate Anthony, a certified high-conflict divorce coach and author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision about Your Marriage.

Kate shares her insights from over a decade of coaching thousands of women through the agonizing choice of whether to stay in a marriage or pursue a divorce. We explore why women often stay in unhappy relationships for an average of four years before making a move, frequently choosing their children’s or spouse’s needs above their own. Kate challenges the cultural myth that "staying for the kids" is always the best path, noting that high-conflict or deeply unhappy households can create a toxic blueprint for a child’s future relationships.

Together, we discuss how to identify different forms of abuse—including emotional, financial, and spiritual—and the "frog in boiling water" syndrome that leaves many women desensitized to their own unhappiness. Kate provides a roadmap for self-actualization, explaining how to differentiate your inner guide from your inner critic and why personal development is the ultimate tool for a brighter future, whether that involves saving the marriage through qualified therapy or "saving the divorce" through healthy communication.

Need help from Kate? Explore her resources and order her book by visiting kateanthony.com.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

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While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Have you felt paralyzed by the thought of meeting a divorce lawyer, fearing that stepping into the office makes the end of your marriage a done deal? What if that first meeting isn’t about starting a fight, but about finally gaining the clarity and game plan you need to move forward?

This week on A Year and a Day, Jaime Davis sits down with her colleague Grace Massarelli, a family law attorney at Gailor Hunt who guides clients through the high-anxiety early stages of separation. Grace pulls back the curtain on the initial consultation, transforming it from a scary "point of no return" into an empowering information-gathering session.

They discuss the emotional intelligence required to navigate this transition and why the most important person in the room is actually you—the captain of your own goals.

Tune in for:

• Why the initial consultation is the first page of your next chapter and how it can set the tone for your entire case.
• Normalizing the "emotional soup" of anxiety, guilt, and anger—and why authenticity is more important than a strong face in the lawyer's office.
• The "Exposure Check": Why your attorney needs to know the worst true thing the other side can say about you.
• The difference between legal options and non-legal alternatives (and why seeing a lawyer doesn't always mean a lawsuit).
• Why North Carolina's specific "Year and a Day" separation requirement makes this process a marathon, not a sprint.
• How to determine if a lawyer is a good fit for your personality and whether their approach aligns with your desired level of conflict.
• Practical tips on what to bring (contracts and prenups) and what to leave at home (thousands of text messages and five years of bank statements).
• The "Choose Your Own Adventure" nature of legal fees and how to communicate your budget to stay in control of the costs.
• Grace’s three takeaways for anyone terrified to take the first step: It’s okay to feel, information is power, and you will be okay.

About Grace Massarelli:

Grace Massarelli is a family law attorney at Gailor Hunt in North Carolina. She works closely with clients at the outset of their cases, helping them navigate the complexities of equitable distribution, alimony, and child custody with a focus on intentional decision-making and realistic expectations.

Resources & Links:

• 
  Gailor Hunt Law Firm: https://divorcestough.com
• Follow Gailor Hunt on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/gailor-hunt-davis-taylor-&-clark-r-p-l-l-c-/

A Year and a Day is hosted by Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt.

When facing separation, the fear and overwhelm of finances can feel like the last insurmountable obstacle to freedom. Many people, paralyzed by the unknown, stay in unhappy marriages for the money.

This week on A Year and a Day, Jaime Davis sits down with Lori Atwood, CFP®, founder of Fearless Finance, to demystify money management during and after divorce. Lori's firm provides objective, hourly, and affordable financial planning, driven by the mission that finances should never dictate a life-altering decision.

They discuss the emotional roots of financial fear, the practical steps to gain control, and the critical elements of building a secure, sustainable life post-divorce.

Tune in for:

• Why the question "Can I survive?" is often the last piece of the puzzle people need answered before deciding to leave a marriage.
• Lori's top two immediate steps for the "non-moneyed spouse" upon separation: establishing individual credit and gathering data on all accounts.
• Why the marital house is often "the elephant in the room" and why, from a financial standpoint, selling it is typically the cleaner and less stressful option.
• The financial pitfalls of nesting and why this arrangement is generally detrimental to long-term financial stability.
• Lori's simple spending tracker model that focuses only on two main areas—groceries and discretionary spending—to help people consistently spend less than they earn.
• The advantage of the hourly, no-commission financial planning model for divorcing individuals who need objective advice without the pressure of being sold products.
• The building blocks of a post-divorce financial roadmap, including cash reserves, emergency funds, and retirement savings.
• Lori's single most important piece of advice: The most critical thing to your finances is your happiness.
  
  

About Lori Atwood:

Lori Atwood is the founder of Fearless Finance, a firm dedicated to providing objective, hourly, and affordable financial planning. Her goal is to demystify personal finance and help people achieve financial wellbeing, especially during major life transitions like divorce.

Resources & Links:

• Fearless Finance: https://fearlessfinance.com
• Gailor Hunt Law Firm: https://divorcestough.com

A Year and a Day is hosted by Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt.