“How can someone seem loving for years—then suddenly turn cruel?”

This week’s Fan Mail revisits a letter that struck a nerve with listeners. A woman wrote about her daughter-in-law, who had seemed like a wonderful addition to the family for seven years—until she “suddenly turned into a monster.”

But after the episode aired, Dr. Kerry received another listener’s response who offered the opposite perspective: “I was in a 23-year marriage marked by coercive control and escalating abuse. My in-laws adored me—until I began calling out my husband’s behavior. Then they rallied around him and turned on me.”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks six possible explanations for why someone may seem to “suddenly change” in a relationship or family dynamic.

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If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

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Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Ever feel blindsided by someone who seemed charming, helpful, or even caring—only to realize later they were quietly dismantling your peace?

This week, conflict expert Bill Eddy, author of The Five Types of People That Ruin Your Life, joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the five high-conflict personality types most likely to cause chaos in relationships, workplaces, and families.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 What do you do when walking away from a toxic or high-conflict person feels impossible? In this members-only bonus, Bill Eddy breaks down his CARS Method—a practical framework to stay calm, set firm limits, and respond strategically when emotions run high.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT BILL EDDY

Website

Book - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities

BILL EDDY, LCSW, Esq. is HCI’s co-founder and Director of Innovation. While pioneering High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP), he was the National Conflict Resolution Center’s Senior Family Mediator for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker and therapist for over 12 years.

He is the author or co-author of over 20 books, manuals, and workbooks. He also has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with millions of views. He co-hosts the podcast It’s All Your Fault! with HCI co-founder Megan Hunter.

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

Support the show

Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

“Why does my ex always blame me when the kids want nothing to do with him?”

This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Rochester, New York, who writes about the heartbreak of watching her children pull away from their abusive father, only to be blamed for it.

Her ex insists she’s turned the kids against him, while his family defends him as “such a good man” who’s “done so much for us.”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains how emotionally immature and abusive individuals deflect accountability, making others feel guilty for the natural consequences of their own harmful behavior.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

Support the show

Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Ever feel like your relationship was the most intoxicating connection of your life—only to discover shocking lies and betrayal later?

This week, intimacy expert Gary Katz reveals how narcissists protect themselves by keeping secrets, building false connections, and manipulating trust—and why survivors are often left questioning their own instincts.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 Think your relationship is missing intimacy, but not sure why? In this members-only bonus, Katz shares practical tools to reignite connection, repair conflict, and restore closeness—even if years of avoidance or emotional neglect have taken their toll.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

MORE ABOUT GARY KATZ:

Center for Intimacy Recovery

GARY KATZ, M.S.W., C.S.A.T., C.P.T.T. is a psychotherapist and founder of The Center for Intimacy Recovery in New York. With over two decades of experience in education and advanced clinical training in sex addiction and partner trauma, he helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal and rediscover authentic connection. When he’s not working with clients, Gary enjoys walking the streets of New York, reflecting on the resilience of the human heart, and spending time with his family.

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

Support the show

Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

What do you do when the evidence points to betrayal, but your partner insists you’re crazy?

This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Atlanta, Georgia, who describes the heartbreak of suspecting her husband of nearly 50 years is living a double life. Despite finding suspicious phone activity and even an STD clinic reference, her husband denies everything—blaming and belittling her instead.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the signs of DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender), explains why being called “crazy” is psychological abuse, and shares what to do when you feel destabilized by betrayal trauma. She also offers practical next steps—from documenting evidence to protecting digital privacy—to help regain clarity and safety.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

Support the show

Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Predators are often hiding in plain sight—and even the smartest, most capable people can miss the red flags. In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy talks with Sarma Melngailis, the former restaurateur whose story was told in Netflix’s Bad Vegan.

Sarma opens up about how she was manipulated, criminalized, and misrepresented—and why her memoir The Girl with the Duck Tattoo finally tells the truth. Together, Kerry and Sarma unpack why predators are so difficult to spot, how they exploit our best traits, and the steps survivors can take to heal after betrayal.

Resources Mentioned

• Sarma’s memoir: The Girl with the Duck Tattoo: The Girl with the Duck Tattoo

• Follow Sarma: on Instagram: @sarmamelngailis

• Sarma’s Substack: Sarma Melngailis on Substack

• Dr. Kerry’s book: Love You More: The Harrowing True Story of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find it here in the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter: 👉 https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

What did Bad Vegan get wrong?

In this exclusive interview, Sarma Melngailis reveals the critical details Netflix left out—from spliced audio that twisted her story to entire expert interviews that were cut. She shares how these omissions not only misled viewers but also deepened the shame and misunderstanding she’s carried.

Get immediate access to this extended conversation—and hear the truth behind the most misleading moments of the docuseries.

👉 Join today

Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

Support the show

Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

This week’s Fan Mail brings us two powerful questions:

• From Syracuse, New York: “The family referee took my custody and handed it over to the father who was absent for years. My children have been separated from their siblings, and I’m only allowed one hour a week of visitation. The court won’t let me present my evidence, and I feel silenced and helpless. What can I do?”

• From Wichita, Kansas
• And from Kansas City, Missouri, a listener asks: “How do I get access to the Podcast Extras?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry tackles both concerns. First, she validates the heartbreak of a mother caught in post-separation abuse reinforced by the family court system.

Then, in response to the Wichita and Kansas City listeners, Dr. Kerry explains how to access the Podcast Extras—exclusive deep-dive interviews with leading experts on narcissistic abuse recovery.

Submit Your Question

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here.

Stay in Touch with Dr. Kerry!

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

Support the show

Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy on Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse for real talk about toxic relationships and recovery. Mondays feature expert interviews, Thursdays bring our new Fan Mail Q&A. Get clarity, validation, and tools to heal.

Stay in Touch with Dr. Kerry!

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!

Support the show

Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.