My swimming workout is my ultimate treat each week. I consider it a great escape because it takes me to an alternate place. In the water, my body is horizontal. I glide through the water and work all the muscles in my body, from head to toe. I am on a different plane and weightless in the water. This roughly 45 minute experience restores my mental and physical energy. It helps me to feel better in my skin. When I finish, I take a long (and usually warm) shower. I head right home to finish drying my hair and am ready to start my day.

I walk out of the locker room feeling both energized and relaxed. I could conquer anything in the day or I could take a nap (which I never do). I know that I crave the effects swimming has on my body.

This swimming experience is a routine and a ritual. I have become so in need of the feeling that this moderate-intensity swim workout gives me that I cannot go without it. I have really come to rely on this swimming ritual to eliminate the feeling of stress that has lingered in me for a lot of days over the past 2 years, since my breast cancer journey started. I know that the best way to get rid of the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach at 2 or 3 am is to swim them away.

Without any doubt, there is a much physiological benefit from time in the water, too. Feeling the butterflies in my stomach signals the stress I am experiencing. Much of this is related to the fear that breast cancer creates in me. That stress cannot live in me. I must release it. I have found that the pool is the best way, although not the only exercise I use to lower or eliminate my stress.

I realize that this past year, swimming has become so important. There have been times when I was not able to swim. I did survive without the water, but now I know what is best for my mind and body. I am more in tune to my mind and body and I am more fearful of what will happen if I do not take care of it. Breast cancer is the biggest element of why I get to the pool each week. I did not always feel the effects of the water in such a deep way, although swimming has been part of my exercise for many years, even if more or less frequently than my current routine.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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I am at a point now where I have follow-up breast imaging. I suspect everything will be normal. I considered rescheduling the upcoming appointments related to my breast cancer until after the holiday season.

A few common thoughts that I bring up in this episode:

• Survivorship can be difficult, even when things are going well

• Everything has the potential to be something in the body after a history of breast cancer

• Testing (a breast MRI) in December has the potential to distract me from what is most important at this time of the year

• Going to doctor appointments is not how I want to spend my December

• Strategies to manage stress are essential

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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In this episode, I talk about being compelled to take on projects that are important to me. This includes a lot of “putting life in order” tasks that seem to be priorities for me now. The year of 2023 was consumed by my health care experience that was centered on the breast cancer screening, diagnosis, recovery and the start of survivorship. Finally, after a year of learning to live as a survivor, I am feeling that I have space in my life to take on extra projects like creating photo albums to tell the story of my family life. Breast cancer brings up a lot of emotions and makes the future unclear.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains the opinions of the host.

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I have talked often about living in the grey zone of survivorship. I know I am not alone in saying that this stage of breast cancer life is harder than the beginning when I was having additional testing and preparing for surgery. I had never discussed what it means to be a survivor with anyone when I was first diagnosed. No one sat down and talked about survivorship with me in the beginning, either. The focus was on getting all the information to formulate a treatment plan.

Then it hit me like a brick wall after I was at a point when all the surgical recovery was essentially complete. I remember the moment at about 3 months after surgery when I realized that is when it gets more difficult. I am facing my future, which is filled with uncertainty. That is nothing new but there is an added consideration to add to my “future life”: Breast cancer. I do not know when or if the breast cancer will return.

For my listeners, I want to share experiences that you might relate to. An episode of the Breast Cancer Conversations podcast that I listened to over the weekend really resonated with what I have been going through for the past 15 months. The Breast Cancer Conversations podcast has had a few episodes that made a huge impact on me in the earliest months of my survivorship. When I listened to the episode #192 (referenced below), with guest David P. Bullis PhD, I knew immediately I had to share it with my listeners.

In the episode, Dr Bullis talks about his work and experience, which comprises the content of his book, How to Get a Grip: Coping Strategies for Complicated Times. Dr Bullis says that the biggest enemy in cancer treatment is uncertainty. He really nailed it! Facing a future where the cancer might change my life goals or interfere with how I thought I would spend the rest of my life or my future years way down the road…… Cancer comes into my vision. I cannot put aside the “what ifs” of a breast cancer history (it is permanently part of my story/my life).

In the episode, Dr Bullis also touches on control and decision-making, pointing out that we are using the best of our abilities at the time when we are making decisions.

Once I read the book, I will share more. In the meantime, I encourage you to listen to the Breast Cancer Conversations episode and read Dr Bullis’s book.

How to Get a Grip: Coping Strategies for Complicated Times by David P. Bullis, PhD

https://www.breastcancerconversations.org/podcast Episode #192 (released March 26, 2023)

I listened on Apple Podcasts. This link is to the podcast website.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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I recently met someone who said that they learned about my podcast from my LinkedIn profile. We were meeting regarding our work. She shared that she also had a recent diagnosis of breast cancer - at the same time that I did. She was new to survivorship just like me.

It has been just over a year since the heaviness of survivorship really hit me. It forced me to leave my job because I happened to be working specifically with breast cancer clinical trials. I had to get outside of my head and find a way to get back to living life and not be obsessed with breast cancer and my fear of it limiting my life.

So my energy to keep sharing my story and providing anecdotes that help me to get on with my life has been boosted after that interaction last week with someone who knows what it feels like to be on this journey.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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Life has evolved since last year, when I was in my breast cancer screening and diagnosis journey. Not long after I recovered from the mastectomy and reconstruction, I learned how hard it is to be a breast cancer survivor. The psychological aspects of being a survivor, particularly the fear of cancer recurrence, prevailed after the incisions healed. To get a sense of control over survivorship, I realized I had to prioritize sleep, exercise, and nutrition to care for myself. Survivorship takes more energy (mentally for certain) than the screening, diagnosis or surgery ever did.

Early in survivorship, I spent time trying to care for myself. I sought out cancer support resources to get the help I needed to adjust to life as a survivor. Then, earlier this year, I reached a point where I felt like something was missing (not referring to my left breast, which was removed during the mastectomy). I decided it was time to go back to work as a nurse.

In this episode, I look back at three months on the job and talk about how I managed to keep myself from falling apart. I did not perfectly fit in exercise. I lost track of how close I was to the recommended 150 minutes of exercise per week. I prioritized walking to the subway as a primary source of movement in the workdays. I found places in my work day to fit in “exercise snacks”, those small bursts of activity to exert myself and raise my heart rate. I even found places at work where I can stand and work at a computer.

I managed to accept disrupted sleep as part of my life and used some of those early morning moments for an early start at the gym. Some days I allowed myself to wake up a little later, even if it meant skipping the gym before work. I tried to be kind to my body and take the cue that more sleep is needed.

I love food and found that although I had the best intentions of packing health snacks for work, I was not bringing enough to keep me from feeling low on energy and very hungry at the end of the day.

The silver lining I share in this episode is that, after 3 months in the job, I now have additional flexibility to work remotely some days and get an extra day off some weeks. So after three months of getting by and being gone every week day all day, I get some time back in my week to restore the balance in my self-care priorities.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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In this episode, I share 2 of the thoughts that have recently come up in my life as a breast cancer survivor. There are currently not any healthcare appointments or other reminders of my cancer experience going on. So that is a nice break from times when there were several necessary things I had to do because of my breast cancer history.

At this point in my survivorship, new thoughts have come to mind. These are generally positive thoughts and are helping me to normalize this whole experience. l talk about how I view the implant (my breast reconstruction) as such a normal thing. Secondly, I talk about how I hear myself saying in my head that exercise is my best medicine. It is a prescription for doing what I can to lower my risk of the cancer recurring and I do not need to wait for a doctor to tell me this.

Breast Cancer Life is a podcast about my breast cancer experience. This is for you, the person who may be facing a diagnosis, and the person who knows someone facing the reality or real possibility of a breast cancer diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared me for this lived experience. My hope is that you get a glimpse of what this life is like.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains the opinions of the host.

LET'S CONNECT:

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There are many facets to what makes us who we are in our own world. To fit in all that is necessary to live our life as we hope to, it takes work. I share strategies that have guided me in fitting everything together, and I hope they inspire and support you on your own path.

Breast Cancer Life is a podcast about my breast cancer experience. This is for you, the person who may be facing a diagnosis, and the person who knows someone facing the reality or real possibility of a breast cancer diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared me for this lived experience. My hope is that you get a glimpse of what this life is like.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

Book referenced in this episode:
Tranquility by Tuesday - Author Laura Vanderkam

https://lauravanderkam.com/2022/08/tranquility-by-tuesday-the-9-rules/

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