⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

We often hear “I’m only human” as an exasperated admission. But what if being human isn’t the problem but the whole point?

Marty Solomon invites us to a theological framework that starts with our belovedness rather than skipping forward to our brokenness. As The BEMA Podcast host shares about his new book, The Gospel of Being Human (NavPress, April 2026), he posited that humanity being made in the image of God is the most real reality about our nature. That sin is real and has real consequences, but that it is not where the story starts. That if we can trust the story and trust the God of the story, we can put our faith into words that are meaningful and that hold the integrity of sound theology.

One of the things our board member and pastor friend, Adam Coppock, calls us to do as we engage ideas and theology, like the concepts in Marty’s new book, is to make sure that we are not just listening to voices from our own specific tradition. So that we can approach discipleship and counseling from a place of curiosity, doing the liberating and hard work of growth and transformation so we can have a bigger view of who God is.

There’s a playfulness that can emerge when we ask questions of God, which can only shine through when we are comfortable in His presence. When we know that where sin abounds, His grace abounds all the more.

Resources:

The Gospel of Being Human by Marty Solomon and Reed Dent

The BEMA Podcast

S3 Bonus: Marty Solomon Conversation

Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary? If I forgive someone, does that mean I must restore the relationship and have no boundaries? How do boundaries work with “honor your father and mother”?

In this episode, we dive into some of the most common questions we hear in the counseling room and in daily conversations!

As you are setting boundaries in your own life, just remember. We have to be Spirit-led in every decision. Boundaries bring clarity to both healthy and unhealthy relationships by helping us take a step back to examine the relationship. No relationship will look the same, and neither will your boundaries.

When they’re done wisely and done well, boundaries are not selfish. Instead, they establish a place for trust to be rebuilt and reconciliation to be pursued.

Resources:

Conversational Counseling Season 2: Forgiveness

The Place We Find Ourselves with Adam Young: Episodes 75 and 76

Season 12 of Conversational Counseling is all about “Boundaries.”

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

Boundaries can hurt. But that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong by setting them.

God has placed in all of us dignity, purpose, agency, and limits, and they’re all worth protecting. Setting boundaries to protect each of these can feel selfish, as if our comfort or our opinions matter more than another person’s. So we often let other people run over us.

We might recognize that boundaries make sense, but we don’t want to face the grief boundaries bring because of unmet expectations or the loss of a relationship.

Yet boundaries don’t just serve or benefit us. They honor and reaffirm everyone involved in the conflict as an image bearer. They remind other people that God has something better for them than their destructive choices or behavior.

When we set a boundary, we shouldn’t set it expecting a specific outcome. We should set them to preserve, protect, and honor who we are — and who they are — as image bearers.

Resources:

S12 E5 Worksheet

Season 12 of Conversational Counseling is all about “Boundaries.”

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

Talk about having boundaries is everywhere… it’s all around us in our culture! But how do we actually walk out having boundaries with wisdom and love in real-life situations with real-life people? It’s easy to talk about hypothetical boundaries and frameworks for setting them…until a real person is standing in front of us, waiting for us to share our boundary.

Once we realize we need to set a boundary, the next step is planning. Before going through the motions to set the boundary, determine a simple boundary and a simple way to set it. Start small and remember that the relationship won’t be fixed in one conversation or with one boundary. Then remember to give grace for the inevitable missteps and discomfort.

Setting boundaries is a new skill, one that will feel uncomfortable when we start. Imagine a toddler who’s just learned to walk. She’ll stumble and fall and step on people’s toes. That’s how most of us will feel when we present a boundary.

By creating a boundary, we’re not trying to change another person. We’re changing the dynamics of a relationship and what we will tolerate. We’re choosing love and wisdom in our own lives and providing an opportunity for a loved one to do the same in new ways.

Resources:

S12 E4 Worksheet

Season 12 of Conversational Counseling is all about “Boundaries.”

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

Does love mean that we should allow our dignity and agency as image bearers to be trampled upon? We’ve been conditioned to love and consider others. After all, we’re supposed to love one another and love our neighbor as ourselves! What lines can be crossed before we should set a boundary?

Every situation and relationship looks different!

Still, one thing remains true and consistent: love involves setting healthy limits. Evil or foolish behavior from others can create confusion and pain, especially when the person who is threatening your well-being is claiming to be a follower of Jesus. But healthy boundaries can create safety and clarity.

In that safe space, we can continue seeking the Lord in prayer for next steps and evaluate the person’s behavior to see if they are receptive to the boundary. Setting these boundaries is never easy, but when your safety, well-being, or conscience are being challenged, then it might be time to set that loving limit.

Season 12 of Conversational Counseling is all about “Boundaries.”

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

Have you ever heard someone argue that boundaries aren’t biblical? Have you ever struggled with feeling like having boundaries made you unloving?

In God’s Word, we see just the opposite. In fact, He’s been instituting boundaries from the very beginning!

Throughout Scripture, God institutes boundaries to protect His holiness and guard the dignity of His image bearers. In the Old and New Testaments, people who crossed His boundaries could be placed outside the covenant community — not in a spirit of hatred but one of love that encourages repentance.

Scripture can be weaponized to argue against setting boundaries. We hear that loving people shouldn’t build walls between brothers and sisters. Yet when we look more closely at Scripture, we see that boundaries are necessary to live in peace with all people. We see that love doesn’t allow cruelty to continue or sin to abound. Instead, boundaries make love more sustainable, truthful, and God-honoring.

Resources:

S12 E2 Worksheet

“Yes!–And No.” by Dr. Curt Thompson

Season 12 of Conversational Counseling on “Boundaries.”

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

You’re not too sensitive. You can just say, “NO!”

In fact, saying “no” might be the most loving thing you can do!

But when we consider saying “no” and setting boundaries, we often think: Shouldn’t I show more grace? I thought I was supposed to turn the other cheek? I should be the bigger person and bear it, right?

However, a boundary doesn’t imply a lack of love or grace; it instead invites others to remember that they are and we are image-bearers with God-given dignity, agency, purpose, and limitations.

When we don’t set a boundary, we are allowing another person to be less than God created them to be. Just like with a lot of good things, placing limits isn’t always easy, yet these boundaries can bear good fruit. They prevent harm, foster accountability, and model behavior that Jesus Himself demonstrates throughout His ministry on earth.

Resources:

S12 E1 Worksheet

Season 12 of Conversational Counseling on “Boundaries.”

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! <<⁠

What do we do when God seems silent or even indifferent to our suffering? How should we pray when we feel God has told us to wait or even said “no”?

It’s easy to let doubt, disappointment, or shame creep in when God doesn’t answer our prayers. Sometimes we pray for decades — good prayers for salvation, wholeness, or restoration — and God still hasn’t answered.

But we’re reminded that God’s chosen people waited centuries for their Messiah, and we are even now in a season of waiting for the final restoration.

When God says “wait” or “no,” His response comes from a place of love and a place of omniscience. He knows what is truly good for us. He knows that in the waiting, we can experience more growth and more hope.

Our questions and our doubts shouldn’t be barriers that keep us from Father. They are instead invitations to continue surrendering control and trusting God’s plan.

Resources:

Conversational Counseling S2: It’s Bigger Than Forgiveness

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

Season 11 of Conversational Counseling on “Sacred Access.”

To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Known Ministries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.