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In this conversation, Neshia (Nee sha) Alaovae (Alah vi) shares her profound experiences and insights on death, grief, and the importance of cultural rituals. Raised by her grandparents in Samoa, Neshia's early encounters with death shaped her understanding and approach to end-of-life care. She emphasizes the significance of rituals in navigating grief and the need for community support. Neshia discusses her journey into death work, highlighting her current role as an end-of-life consultant, where she helps individuals, particularly young adults, confront and plan for their mortality. In this conversation, we explore the themes of midlife reflections, the importance of end-of-life planning, and the role of a death doula. We discuss how intimate connections can be fostered through conversations about death and dying the cultural rituals surrounding grief, and the challenges faced in death work. The conversation also touches on the fears surrounding the end of life and the celebration of life through death work, emphasizing the importance of community support and personal connections.

Neshia Alaovae (she/her) is a Black and Samoan, disabled mama, poet, and death worker. She cares deeply about connecting cultural wisdom, ancestral resilience, and BIPOC joy to create new, empowered possibilities for how we live and die. Her first experience of what many refer to as death doula work was in 2012 as a “Compassionate Companion” at a residential hospice in Washington, DC, that serves homeless or housing-insecure people dying of AIDS or cancer. Neshia continues to think of herself as a death companion.

Neshia has worked as a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion trainer for faith organizations, non-profits, and institutions such as the Washington Department of Health. She is a licensed mental health counselor who spent over a decade serving people navigating trauma, grief, and cultural identity. Currently, she runs "A Thoughtful Death," a deathcare practice offering end-of-life consultation and support for people wanting a more intentional experience with dying. Neshia loves reading, eating long meals with loved ones, and trying to keep her two toddlers from eating too much dirt (a little is just right).

A Thoughtful Death Website

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In this conversation, Rich Nisbet shares his profound experiences with death, grief, and spirituality. He discusses his journey from personal loss to becoming a grief counselor, emphasizing the importance of finding meaning in death. Rich also introduces his children's book, The Life Cycle, which aims to help children understand death and the continuity of life.

The discussion also touches on the significance of open conversations about death, the stigma surrounding spiritual experiences, and the therapeutic benefits of journaling in processing grief. Rich advocates for a holistic approach to grief that acknowledges both pain and healing. In this engaging conversation, the speakers delve into the complexities of grief, trauma, and the therapeutic process. They explore how thoughts influence pain, the importance of confronting old traumas, and the challenges faced in counseling. The discussion also touches on near-death experiences and the fears surrounding death, emphasizing the evolving nature of therapy and self-discovery. We share insights on how individuals can take responsibility for their healing journey and the significance of mindfulness in processing emotions.

In the early 2000s, Rich was asked, “Have you ever been out of your body?” This question drove home the point that if you can leave your body, then you’re not your body. He relocated from Michigan to California to study philosophies, religions, processes, and methods for coaching and counseling.

When Covid hit, Rich developed an entire series of individual coaching procedures called “Achievements.” These Achievements are like philosophical processes that people can actually do on themselves.

In 2000, Rich supported a client who was caring for his dying grandmother. He wrote out steps for his client, which they found very valuable. That prompted Rich to write a book on the subject called “When It’s Time.”

His website contains accounts and stories of everyday people who have had out-of-the-ordinary experiences.

His Website - Above it All

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And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.

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In this conversation, Michael Erard discusses his work on language, mainly focusing on the first words of babies and the last words of the dying. He shares personal experiences with death, including a profound encounter that shaped his understanding of grief and mourning. The discussion explores the importance of communication at the end of life, the cultural models surrounding death, and the collective experience of dying, emphasizing the significance of verbal and non-verbal communication. In this conversation, we delve into the profound themes surrounding language and communication at the end of life. We explore cultural perspectives on the last words, the significance of agency in the final moments, and the challenges faced in researching end-of-life language. The discussion also touches on the importance of rituals in grief and the potential for rewriting moments of loss. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, we emphasize the power of language and the shared human experience in navigating death and dying.
Michael is a writer, a linguist, a parent, and an immigrant. His work has been mostly about language and languages and the people who use and study them. For the last five years, he has been working on a book about the first words of babies and the last words of the dying as linguistic phenomena, personal curios, and objects of cultural interest. “Bye Bye I Love You: The Story of Our First and Last Words” comes out in February 2025.
Michael sent us a preview, which we thoroughly enjoyed. The results of his studies and his skilled way of sharing the stories made it a compelling read. And the conclusions are fascinating and will be of great value to anyone doing end-of-life care. Michael is also in training to be a Death Doula and is on the advisory board of the Death Languages project, which recently received a grant from the Order of the Good Death.

Links to his new book
Penguin Random House has both hardcover and e-book options
MIT Press has only the hardcover
Michael's Website

Dr Katherine Mannix whom Michael mentioned as an inspiration.

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And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.

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In this conversation, Tiana Dargent, founder of Queer Community Death Care, shares her personal journey with death and grief, highlighting the importance of inclusive and compassionate end-of-life care for the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. She discusses her experiences with death from a young age, the evolution of her understanding of grief, and the creation of safe spaces for discussions about death through Queer Death Salons. Tiana emphasizes the challenges marginalized communities face in death care and the significance of community support in navigating these experiences. In this conversation, the speakers explore the importance of creating safe spaces for discussions about death and dying. They share personal experiences and fears surrounding death, particularly concerning parenting and legacy. The conversation emphasizes the healing power of nature and the need for culturally competent care in death practices. Creative solutions for navigating challenges in death care are also discussed, highlighting the importance of open-mindedness and adaptability in these sensitive topics.

Queer Community Deathcare website
Article - How to queer your end-of-life planning
YouTube - 2SLGBTQIA+ Grief, An Intimate Relationship with Disenfranchisement

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And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.

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An edited video version of this episode is available here: https://youtu.be/9bLisrm7q4w

In this podcast episode, the hosts engage with experienced death doulas to explore the journey of becoming a death doula, the personal inspirations behind their work, and the training involved. The conversation highlights the importance of community support, the calling to serve the dying, and the unique philosophy guiding their practice, including recognizing their work as a form of ministry. This conversation delves into the multifaceted role of end-of-life doulas, exploring their training, the importance of community education, and the business aspects of their work. The speakers discuss the evolution of death care practices, the significance of supporting families, and the need for a comprehensive curriculum that addresses both practical and emotional aspects of dying. They emphasize the importance of finding a personal path in this field and educating the community about the value of doula services. This conversation delves into the multifaceted role of death doulas, exploring the challenges and rewards of providing end-of-life care. The speakers discuss the importance of transparency in pricing, the emotional complexities of discussing fees, and the necessity of promoting doula services within the community. Personal stories highlight the profound impact of compassionate care and the significance of medical aid in dying. The conversation emphasizes the need for humility, support, and love in navigating the sensitive terrain of death and dying.

- From Corey for Doorway Into Light: Info about the upcoming 7-week online course "Facing Death Nourishing Life" - The first class is on Feb. 17th
- Our viewers can use the code DISCOUNT2025 to receive $200 off Standard Tuition. Registration link

Doorway Into Light website

LiElla's Leaving Well website

Jerrigrace's Final Passages website

You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and BlueSky. You are also invited to subscribe to support us financially. Anyone who supports us at any level will have access to Premium content, special online meet-ups, and one on one time with Annalouiza or Wakil.

And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.

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In this conversation, Joe'l Simone Maldonado, a licensed funeral director and grief educator, shares her profound experiences with death from a young age, the challenges she faces in her profession, and the importance of self-care and boundaries in her work. She emphasizes the need for cultural competency in death care and reflects on the spiritual aspects of her role, while also discussing the fears and uncertainties surrounding death. In this conversation, we explore the complex emotions surrounding death and grief, discussing personal fears, cultural practices, and the importance of inclusivity in end-of-life care. We share insights on how to find comfort in the inevitability of death, the significance of cultural narratives, and the unique ways individuals express their grief. The conversation emphasizes the need for diverse voices in discussions about death and the importance of living life fully while honoring those who have passed.
The Grave Woman website
Compassion and Choices
The Untethered Soul

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And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.

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In this conversation, Deborah Grassman shares the profound insights she gained from her extensive experience as a hospice nurse for veterans. She discusses the concept of 'soul injury,' a wound that disconnects individuals from their true selves and emphasizes the importance of healing through self-discovery, grief, and forgiveness. Grassman reflects on how facing death can lead to a deeper understanding of life and the urgency to connect with one's authentic self. She also addresses the challenges of promoting healing practices in a busy, distracted society and shares her personal reflections on life and legacy. She shares profound insights on embracing mortality, finding purpose in adversity, and the journey of letting go. She reflects on her experiences with veterans, the impact of natural disasters on her work, and the importance of grace in our lives. The discussion emphasizes the need for self-discovery and personal growth, culminating in the vision of Opus Peace and the release of her new book. She is the author of three books: Peace at Last, The Hero Within, and Soul Injury, and a contributing author for four textbooks, and has 25 published articles.
There are four documentary films and a TED talk that feature her work. However, none of these achievements have taught her as much as the 10,000 dying veterans she took care of as a VA hospice Nurse Practitioner for 30 years: “If anyone wants to learn how to achieve inner peace, ask a veteran who has successfully struggled to find it for the rest of their lives after they returned from war.”

The Opus Peace Website
Their Yearly "Anchor Your Heart Day" coming on February 2, 2025
Deborah's Books
Her work with We Honor Veterans
Her TED talk
Online learning system from Opus Peace
Anchor Your Heart video - a grounding technique that is featured in the annual global event linked above called National Anchor Your Heart Day
Pre order Deborah's new book Soul Injury: Healing the Relationship You Have With Yourself

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And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.

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LiElla Kelly is a nationally recognized NEDA (National End-of-Life Doula Alliance) Proficient End-of-Life Doula and After-Death Care Educator. She founded Leaving Well, a groundbreaking business that serves individuals and families seeking to navigate end-of-life transitions with grace, dignity, and peace. Her clients understand the importance of planning and wish to approach death with openness and preparedness—those who believe that we can “do death” better.
LiElla brings a unique blend of compassionate care and practical expertise to her work. Her role is to ensure that the dying know their options, that their voice is heard, and that their loved ones can make the most of their final moments together.
In this conversation, LiElla Kelly, a nationally recognized end-of-life doula, shares her insights on navigating death and dying with grace and dignity. She discusses her personal experiences with death, the role of a death doula, the importance of after-death care, and her podcast that educates others about death-related topics. LiElla emphasizes the need for self-care and the challenges faced in her profession, particularly in educating society about the role of death doulas. In this conversation, LiElla Kelly shares her journey of finding balance in life after losing a close friend. She discusses the importance of community support, mindfulness, and the joy she finds in helping others during difficult times. The conversation delves into the various options available for after-death care, emphasizing the need for education and awareness around end-of-life choices. LiElla also highlights the significance of having meaningful conversations about death and dying and the healing power of poetry in processing grief.

LiElla's Website
LiElla's Instagram
Death Becomes Her podcast

Support the show

You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and BlueSky. You are also invited to subscribe to support us financially. Anyone who supports us at any level will have access to Premium content, special online meet-ups, and one on one time with Annalouiza or Wakil.

And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.