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Episode Summary:

In this episode, we explore the role thought errors play in shaping how we interact with our inboxes, particularly through electronic medical records (EMRs). These common patterns of thinking contribute to moral injury, burnout, and the overwhelming sense of always needing to be “on.”

See how these beliefs keep us tethered to our inboxes after hours, why patient portals create unrealistic expectations, and how these challenges impact our ability to provide compassionate care. We'll also talk about strategies to set boundaries, challenge perfectionism, and take back control of our time and energy.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Thought Errors That Keep Us Stuck:
  • Believing we are responsible for patient emergencies/outcomes at all times.
  • Feeling like it’s our job to accommodate patients who refuse other options for care.
  • Thinking that checking the inbox constantly can prevent bad outcomes.
• How EMRs Have Changed the Landscape:
  • The unintended consequences of patient portals and 24/7 messaging.
  • How responding to messages after hours reinforces unhealthy expectations.
• Strategies for Change:
  • Reframing our responsibility for patient outcomes.
  • Recognizing the inherent imperfections in any healthcare system.
  • The importance of protecting boundaries to maintain longevity in medicine.

Key Takeaways:

1. We Cannot Be On-Call 24/7: While technology has revolutionized patient communication, it has also created unhealthy pressures. It’s essential to reestablish clear boundaries.
2. Patient Outcomes Are Not Solely on Us: Moral injury often stems from systemic challenges, not personal shortcomings. Understanding this can lighten the emotional burden we carry.
3. Boundaries Are the Foundation of Great Care: When we prioritize our own rest and well-being, we’re better equipped to care for our patients during working hours.

Reflective Questions for Our Community:

• What thought errors keep us tethered to our inboxes after hours?
• How can we challenge the belief that constant availability equals better care?
• What’s one small step we can take this week to establish healthier boundaries?

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:

Ready to take the next step in this work?

• Join our Unbound coaching group for women physicians to find a supportive community dedicated to breaking free from burnout and rediscovering joy in medicine. The next round starts March 2025
• Explore one-on-one coaching opportunities to develop personalized strategies for thriving in your career and personal life.

Connect with Us:

• Website: www.healthierforgood.com
• Instagram: @MeganMeloMD

Final Thoughts:

As 2024 comes to a close, let’s lean into the courage it takes to challenge ingrained beliefs and embrace self-compassion. Together, we can rewrite the narrative, letting go of unsustainable expectations to create a life and career that honors both our humanity and our calling.

Tune in now to join us on this journey

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Send us a text

In this episode, we dive into the conflict between wants and needs—a dynamic that significantly impacts how physicians manage their time, energy, and priorities. Inspired by insights from The Gap Versus the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, Megan unpacks why physicians often prioritize external demands over their own personal goals and desires.

Key Topics Discussed:

1. The Conflict Between Needs and Wants

Physicians are highly trained to respond to external drivers and prioritize others' needs, often at the expense of their own.

• Common examples include:
  • Completing patient notes and addressing inbox messages.
  • Managing the tension between doing work efficiently versus meeting perfectionistic expectations.

2. Why Change Feels Difficult

The brain is wired to focus on survival and external validation, not personal desires like more free time or less stress.

• Many physicians are conditioned to value perfection and external praise, which reinforces time-consuming habits.

3. Three Steps to Align with Your Wants:

• Step 1: Clarify the Value of Your Goal
  • Ask: Why do I want this? (e.g., to avoid late nights finishing notes, reduce stress, or be present with family).
  • Write down at least 20 reasons to connect emotionally with the goal.
• Step 2: Identify Deep-Seated Beliefs
  • Explore beliefs about what is “necessary” in your work, such as writing perfect notes or avoiding mistakes at all costs.
  • Challenge whether those beliefs truly serve you.
• Step 3: Bridge the Gap
  • Compare your list of wants to the obstacles in your way.
  • Take small, measurable steps toward progress and celebrate those wins.

4. Practical Applications:

• Understand the difference between doing something “good enough” versus striving for perfection.
• Focus on incremental changes, like finishing one note before moving on to the next task or closing mental loops at the end of the day.
• Use this process for bigger goals like reducing administrative burdens or transitioning to a more fulfilling career.

Takeaways:

• Recognize that your training predisposes you to prioritize others’ needs—but embracing your own wants is essential for your well-being.
• By shifting your mindset and making small, consistent changes, you can free yourself from overwhelm and reclaim your time.
• Progress is not linear, and setbacks are normal—but each step forward is a win worth celebrating.

Resources & Mentions:

• The Gap Versus the Gain by Dan Sullivan & Dr. Benjamin Hardy PhD

Thank you for tuning in! Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review. Until next time, take care.

Connect with Dr. Megan Melo:

• Website: www.healthierforgood.com
• Instagram: @MeganMeloMD
• Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Send us a text

In this episode, we dive into the pervasive challenge of managing the harsh inner critic many women physicians face. We explore the origins of this critical voice, how it develops, and its impact on our lives. Let’s also talk about compassionate strategies to identify, understand, and quiet this inner critic, so you can learn to live life with less negative noise.

Key Takeaways:

Understanding the Inner Critic

• Origins:
  • Often rooted in societal expectations to excel and please others, reinforced from childhood through adulthood.
  • Influenced by environments that equated worthiness with achievement, perfection, and making others happy.
• Behaviors and Patterns:
  • Turns leisure activities into measurable achievements.
  • Critiques rest and relaxation as laziness, perpetuating burnout and overwork.
  • Mirrors external voices like strict authority figures, internalized as self-judgment.

Why It’s Harmful:

• Keeps high achievers in a cycle of overwork and self-criticism.
• Prevents true rest, joy, and connection with oneself and others.
• Leads to feelings of inadequacy and perpetuates burnout.

Strategies for Taming the Inner Critic:

1. Recognize and Name the Critic:
   • Identify the inner voice as separate from yourself.
   • Give it a name to acknowledge when it’s active (e.g., “The Judge” or “The Boss”).
2. Understand Its Intentions:
   • Reflect on what the inner critic is trying to achieve.
   • Recognize that, while misguided, it believes it’s helping you succeed.
3. Compassionately Shift Its Role:
   • Accept that this part of you exists but doesn’t have to lead.
   • “Move it to the back seat” by listening without allowing it to dictate actions.
   • Practice self-empathy and reframe thoughts as opinions, not truths.
4. Reimagine Success Without the Critic:
   • Visualize a life where the critic isn’t in control—where rest, joy, and imperfection are part of your journey.

Mentioned Resources:

• Books and Concepts:
  • Internal Family Systems Therapy by Richard Schwartz.
  • Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine.

Invitation to Join Unbound:

Are you a woman physician battling burnout, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or a lack of boundaries? Join Megan’s transformative program, Unbound: Women Physicians Reclaiming Their Lives.

Enrollment Deadline: December 13, 2024
Next Session Starts: March 2025 (don’t wait!)

Unbound offers a supportive community and actionable tools to reclaim joy and balance.

Connect with Megan:

• Website: www.healthierforgood.com
• Program Info: Click here

Let’s work together to quiet the inner critic and create a life filled with joy, rest, and purpose.

Thank you for tuning in! Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review. Until next time, take care.

Connect with Dr. Megan Melo:

• Website: www.healthierforgood.com
• Instagram: @MeganMeloMD
• Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.