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Welcome to episode FIVE of the Re-Imagining Motherhood podcast.
I am thrilled to bring you Miriam Liss, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who has studied maternal guilt and shame AND so much more. In this episode, Dr. Liss and I explore the difference between guilt and shame and WHERE it comes from for so many mothers. We also explore the main parenting ideology deeply influencing maternal shame today - intensive mothering. What happens when being a “good enough” mother is a moving target and yet, we continue to attempt to live up to it? Our conversation left me with hope - hope that shame doesn’t have to be an experienced norm of Motherhood if we can continue to Re-Imagine Motherhood together.
Episode Summary:
Liss is one of the contributing developers of the Intensive Parenting Attitudes Questionnaire looking at how parents are impacted by this central patriarchal normative Motherhood ideology - intensive mothering. Stemming from her research, we discuss how shame contributes to mothers feeling deeply alone in their lack of “enoughness” in their role as Mother. Additionally, we look at how incorporating compassion into our experience as Mothers might help us alleviate the shame we feel. We dabble into many feminist off-shoots of this broader conversation, looking at traditional gender roles in parenting and feminist mothers and some of their experiences. It’s a conversation you don’t want to miss as we continue to Re-Imagine Motherhood together.
Correction: "Pamela" Hays is Sharon Hays re: "The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood" and Annette Lareau coined “concerted cultivation” and Peggy Orenstein uses the term “Half Changed World” in her book Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Love, Kids & Life in a Half Changed World.
Additional episode resources:
Maternal Guilt and Shame: The Role of Self-discrepancy and Fear of Negative Evaluation
Development and Validation of a Quantitative Measure of Intensive Parenting Attitudes
Dr. Miriam Liss’ full bio:
Miriam Liss, Professor of Psychology at University of Mary Washington. She is a clinical psychologist and has conducted research on feminism, body image and objectification, parenting, division of labor, work-family balance. She is the co-author of Balancing the Big Stuff: Finding Happiness in Work, Family and Life, published by Rowman and Littlefield press. She is the co-author of a forthcoming textbook on the Psychology of Women that will be published by Norton. Dr. Liss has also published research in the area of autism and developmental disorders as well as sensory processing sensitivity, and self-injurious behaviors. Many of Dr. Liss’ publications and presentations are with UMW student co-authors, and she enjoys mentoring students to do research that is of publishable quality.
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