What if the real problem isn’t the messy room, the frustrating coworker, or the difficult conversation—but the lens you’re seeing it through? In this episode, we dive into the story of Sarah, a mom who transformed her daily frustration by shifting her perspective using the CLEAR model. If you’re ready to reclaim your peace—without waiting for anyone else to change (because we all know THAT ain't happenin')—this episode is for you!
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In this eye-opening episode, Natalie shares her personal story of spiritual abuse and excommunication, offering a powerful backdrop for her conversation with author and spiritual consultant, Remy Diederich. Together, they delve into the dynamics of toxic faith, spiritual abuse, and how unhealthy church cultures can harm individuals and families.

Remy, the author of Broken Trust, shares insights from his decades of ministry experience and his passion for helping people heal from spiritual abuse. Whether you're grappling with toxic religious environments or recovering from years of harmful teachings, this episode offers hope, practical advice, and a fresh perspective.

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding Spiritual Abuse: Spiritual abuse often involves toxic leadership that weaponizes faith to control, manipulate, or shame individuals.
• Toxic Faith vs. Spiritual Abuse: Toxic faith is the belief that you must perform or meet certain standards to please God, while spiritual abuse occurs when leaders use those beliefs to exploit or control others.
• The Impact of Spiritual Abuse on Relationships: Abuse within churches often mirrors abusive dynamics in families, leading to distrust, division, and confusion.
• Healing from Spiritual Abuse: Recovery begins with identifying harmful patterns, stepping away if necessary, and seeking support through books, therapy, and supportive communities.
• The Power of Questioning Toxic Narratives: It’s okay to question teachings and leaders. Faith flourishes when it’s rooted in personal connection with God, not human-made rules.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Read one (or all) of Remy’s books: Broken Trust, Healing the Hurts of Your Past, Return From Exile, and Stuck are some of my favorites.
• Connect with Remy on his site.
• Go visit Remy over on YouTube.
• Email Remy at remy@readingremy.com to request an audiobook code (limited supply).
• Check out Be Emboldened for support as you recover from spiritual abuse.
• Related article and episode: “Bethlehem Baptist Church Is Not Safe for Emotionally Abused Women,” and “Is Your Church Safe?”
• Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.
• My book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming.
• Flying Free is our online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip you through this program.
• Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for any Christian woman interested in 10Xing their self-development progress.

Remy is a seasoned pastor and spiritual consultant with a heart for helping others overcome life's challenges. Over his three decades of ministry, he's authored six books that offer practical guidance and spiritual support for those seeking healing and connection to God. Remy's expertise extends beyond the pulpit. He's spent 24 years as a spiritual consultant at an addiction treatment center, where he's witnessed firsthand the transformative power of faith and hope. Today, Remy dedicates his time to empowering pastors to build healthy church cultures and coaching individuals on the themes of his books. A lifelong resident of Minneapolis, Minnesota, Remy is married with three adult children. His passion for helping others shines through in his writing, speaking, and counseling.

If you’ve ever side-eyed church culture and thought, “This can’t be what Jesus had in mind,” you’re not alone. In this episode, we dig into Christianity After Religion by Diana Butler Bass and talk about why the old way of doing church is crumbling—and why that’s actually good news. If you’re tired of toxic religion but still crave something real, this conversation will give you hope, validation, and maybe even a little fire to keep going.

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