In this episode of "Redefining Family," I had the pleasure of reconnecting with my long-time friend, Johnny Lee, who shared his deeply personal journey toward parenthood alongside his husband, Sebastian. Having known Johnny for over 15 years, it was both exciting and enlightening to delve into a conversation that explored not only his path to fatherhood but also his coming out experience and the challenges he faced along the way.
Johnny and Sebastian, who have been together for more than 17 years and were legally married on the first day same-sex marriage was legalized in New York in 2011, embarked on an emotionally taxing and expensive journey to become parents. They faced numerous hurdles, including the complex process of selecting an egg donor and finding the right surrogate, as well as the heartache of multiple failed attempts at pregnancy. Ultimately, their perseverance paid off, and they are now proud parents of two boys, ages six and four, through gestational surrogacy.
As we discussed Johnny's current surrogacy journey, I learned that he had just made a deposit for embryos to be created, marking the beginning of a new chapter in his life. He shared the intricacies of the egg donor selection process, likening it to a dating site, and reflected on the emotional rollercoaster that comes with the territory. Johnny emphasized the importance of patience and the reality that the journey to parenthood is often not a quick one, especially for those considering surrogacy or adoption.
The conversation took a poignant turn as Johnny opened up about his coming out journey, which began at a young age in a strict evangelical Christian household. He recounted the challenges he faced when his mother confronted him about his sexuality, leading to years of difficult conversations and strained relationships with his parents. Despite the initial turmoil, Johnny's story is one of resilience and hope, as he ultimately found acceptance and love within his family, particularly during his wedding to Sebastian.
We also touched on the impact of cultural expectations, particularly within the Korean-American community, and how these shaped Johnny's upbringing and his parents' reactions to his sexuality. His candid reflections on the complexities of family dynamics and the evolution of his parents' understanding of LGBTQ+ issues were both moving and insightful.
As we wrapped up our conversation, Johnny shared his thoughts on religion and how his relationship with faith has changed over the years. He expressed a sense of disillusionment with organized religion, particularly in light of the harm it can cause to the LGBTQ+ community, while also acknowledging the journey his parents took to reconcile their beliefs with their love for him.
This episode is a testament to the power of love, acceptance, and the ongoing journey of redefining what family means. Johnny's story is not only inspiring but also serves as a reminder of the importance of understanding and compassion in the face of adversity. I hope you enjoy this heartfelt conversation as much as I did.
