Épisodes

  • Season 2 Episode 2/Quid a Deo dignum est, omnia a nobis
    Dec 21 2023

    The title of this episode is "Quid a deo dignum est, omnia a nobis." Let me translate this for you.  Those of you who may be fluent in Latin, please forgive me if my translation is a bit loose, but according to Google, it means:   "Anything from God is worth everything from us."  Now.....Anything from God does not mean worldly things.  I'm not talking about money, fame, and possessions. When you are seeking worldly things, when you are seeking fame and fortune and money, many are drawn to worldly ways of obtaining these things.  Something that I have noticed throughout my life is that some people say that it doesn't matter how you obtain something, as long as it is in the name of business.  I am sure that there are other rationalizations that people use to help them feel better about how they have obtained the "almighty" dollar.  But, I'm talking about things we have had, things we have, and things we want to have that are good, wholesome, and righteous.  We have to be willing to seek after things that will help others, things that will be of the most value to our spiritual well-being, things that will bring us and our families and friends and others around us true happiness and joy, and finally things that will eventually lead us back to our Heavenly Father.  Mathew 6 verse 33 says,  "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."  Christ is saying that our earthly needs will be provided for us and we will have what we need and desire in righteousness.  Do what God has asked us to do and seek his kingdom first and foremost and then the other things that we need will be given to us.  If we need to stay here on this earth to finish our mission here or if we are released from this earthly calling to go to another place and serve our Father in Heaven, it doesn't matter.  We need to remember this, God is writing our script. Keep our heart and soul focused on serving God and all other things will be provided to us for our good on this earth.  What's good for us on this earth does not always include money, fame, and possessions.  Seek the teachings of Jesus Christ and learn what he has done for us.  He is our Shepard, he will guide us through this life.  It doesn't matter what trials we are called to endure, how hard we may think it is, or if we think we are being picked on.  Christ is there for us and he loves us and these things are and will be for our good and progression along this road we call life.  Quid a deo dignum est, omnia a nobis.

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    12 min
  • Season 2 Episode 1: Back Again
    Oct 18 2023

     Towards the end of this past summer, I received a blow that I didn't see coming.  We had been told a year and a half earlier that I was cancer-free.  After this announcement, I was still seeing my oncologist every 3 months.  Before each visit, I would go to the hospital lab and imagining department for tests and blood work-ups.  Two visits ago, towards the end of the appointment, I asked Dr. Reese when I could have my port removed.  He said, "About that, we need to discuss something before we decide anything about the port."  I knew what was coming.  We had been watching a small spot in the lower, right lobe of my lungs.  It had not been changing at all during the past few months, but Dr. Reese told us that it had now grown and was now 4 to 5 times larger.  It had only been about 2mm and was now 1cm.  He told us that I needed to have a biopsy of this growth to see what was going on.     Dr. Reese said he wanted the biopsy ASAP.  If it was cancerous, there would need to be a plan of attack to rid again this ugly foe. 

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    17 min
  • Episode 12: Ostomy
    Jun 20 2023

    The day finally came to take care of the damage the tumor had done during its stay in my body and with its removal.  I had to have my bodily functions returned to me, even if it meant having them changed significantly. My way of life would never be the same.  I could regain my strength, go home to familiar surroundings and be with my loved ones, but there were going to be some things that would never be the same.  I would have to adjust.  Brenda would have to adjust.  And together we would make whatever had to happen, happen.

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    14 min
  • Episode 11: infection
    Jun 13 2023

         In the last Episode, I talked about the reversal surgery that I was supposed to have and the mystery MRI that unexpectedly stopped said surgery.  I went ahead and had surgery, but not the reversal.  They inserted a JP drain through my bottom and into the infected region to drain any fluid that was collecting in that area.

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    15 min
  • Episode 10: Reversal?
    Jun 7 2023

         Now that I have had the tumor removed, I only needed to have the ileostomy reversed and things would be back to normal.  Easy as that, right?  I would get my strength back from the surgery and have the surgery area healed properly so as to not have any infection set in.  I could then have the reversal and all would be fine.  An ileostomy reversal is a technique that rejoins the two ends of your bowel after an ileostomy. Its purpose is to restore bowel function so you can remove waste normally.  I was so excited.  I could actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. I knew the light was there, but I had no idea how far away it was and how long it would take to get there.  

         About 8 weeks had passed by and we were getting a bit nervous about why we had not heard any news of when the reversal surgery would be.  One day in mid to late November we got a phone call from our doctor. He wanted to do the reversal as soon as possible. In fact, he said he wanted us to be at the hospital the next day to have tests and scans prior to the surgery.  I was to do a prep very similar to a colonoscopy prep that evening and come into the hospital ready to have the reversal.  So we made arrangements for Brenda's sister to take care of things for a week or so, packed our things, and headed for Eric's house to get ready for the next day.  We stopped at Walmart on the way to pick up some Gator Aid and some meds to mix in and were on our way. We spent the night in our little downstairs apartment and went to the hospital the next day for scans, etc.  I had a barium enima.  Don't ever want to do that again.  Some scans were made and an MRI.  I couldn't have any food and needed to start my prep that evening.  I needed to be cleaned out as much as possible.  So I mixed up my beverages and started drinking. I finished up and surprise, surprise, Everything I had taken down came back up and into the toilet.  I was upset about that and wondered if it would make any difference.  About an hour or so after losing my Gator Aid,  I got a call from Dr. Kim himself.  He asked me who had ordered the MRI.  I said "I thought you did.  I don't understand."  He went on to tell me that he had not ordered an MRI for me, but it was a good thing someone had.  He said that as he had been studying the results, the MRI was showing a large bag of infection in the proximity of where the tumor had been.  He went on to say that If we would have operated now, without knowing of the infection it would have been a disaster.  He said that we would have to get rid of the infection before we could even think of doing a reversal.  The bag would burst letting the infection out and causing me to go septic and I would be dead within a few days.  

         

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    12 min
  • Episode 9: Surgery
    May 31 2023

         So, the nights were much better at home than at Stonehenge.  I still had problems from time to time, but being at home in my own bed brought my stress level way down.  I continued to exercise and tried to keep busy doing a few things in the yard and in my wood shop.  My energy level was still not the best and I was still very weak for some time, but things were better.  I was home.  I napped every afternoon.  The doctor said I had to get plenty of rest.  I tried to take in as much protein as possible.  The doctor also said that the 3 main words in my vocabulary should be protein, protein, and protein.  He also said 4 to 5 weeks and I would be ready for surgery.  He would be taking out that demon that had been lurking inside my body.  I was told that the tumor had shrunk from about 4 inches to 1 inch and it should just practically fall out when time came for removal. I was trying so hard to do everything just right.  

         It had been 5 weeks since I had returned home and the doctor had not called to make an appointment.  I was getting very anxious and wanted it done soon.  So I called and they said that the doctor wanted to wait for a couple of more weeks to make sure I was ready.  I was not too happy with that news but thought that Doctor Kim knew what was best, and I would do what he thought best.  It was not very long after that, not two weeks, that I received a call from the surgery department and the LDS hospital for scheduling my appointment.  I was supposed to have had some instruction on how to deal with the ileostomy bag I would be wearing for the next month and a half after this surgery while my rectum was healing to avoid post-op infection.  They would let me know what to expect and how to deal with it.  It seems the call for action came before we had a chance to get back up to Provo or Salt Lake City to take this class.  They assured us that after the surgery I would be instructed on the proper usage and care of this bag I was going to be carrying around for a couple of months.  

        We let our kids know what was going and action was taken immediately to have Eric come and pick us up to take us to the hospital.  He would take us and wait with Brenda during the surgery.  If all went well, he would make sure we were safely in my room for recovery and then go back to his home in Provo for the 4 or 5 days it would take to recover.  Brenda would stay with me in my room until I was ready to go home.  The nursing staff said she could stay there and sleep on a couch that folded into a bed.  Not the best of conditions, but not terrible.  I was told I would be in the hospital for 5 days.  

         The surgery went well after I finally had the IV properly inserted.  The nurse who was administering this procedure had a very difficult time.  She stuck me and stuck me and stuck me.  I was getting pretty tired of the whole ordeal when she called on someone else to continue.  This nurse only took one stick to get things going.  I was then wheeled to the OR and just like that it was over for me.  The next thing I remember was being wheeled on the gurney to my room

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    19 min
  • Episode 8: Home Is Where You Go
    May 22 2023

    I was only 2 weeks at Stonehenge.  I was told that I was progressing rapidly on my road to recovery and that if I would like to, I could go home.  I would have to continue with home therapy for a few weeks and it would take a while before I was ready to take the final step in my fight against cancer.  That step, of course, was the surgery to get rid of the tumor that had been invading my body.  It had shrunk considerably but was still there.  It was still causing a lot of grief and pain.  It honestly felt like a living creature that had been wounded and was trying to fight back.  I really didn't have a clue what lay ahead on the way to surgery and recovery afterward.  But the first step was to get home from Stonehedge.  That step was just around the corner.  I could feel myself getting stronger and more alert and becoming more able to take care of myself.  I was still having trouble with balance, but remember going to one of my last therapy sessions while there at Stonehenge.  I was able to navigate some stairs and play catch with the therapist while standing on one foot.  I was ready to go home.  They told me that I should be ready to leave in a day or two.  Eric said he would take us in his truck and help us get settled into our home again.  The day finally came and Brenda and I were so excited.  What a great day this would be!  They stuck me in a wheelchair, which I didn't think I needed, but rules are rules, right?  I was wheeled down the hall to the exit where Eric had parked his truck.  A smile came over my face when I saw the decorations the truck had received from Eric's 4 children and his wife, Stephanie.  They had done so much for Brenda and me over the past months and had made sure that while we were heading south to Marysvale, everyone on the highways with us would know that there was a cancer survivor and fighter in this Ram pick-up.  I wasn't cancer free yet, but I was well on my way.  I had gotten through Chemo and radiation and week-long stays in 2 hospitals.  I had survived a 2-week stay in rehab. and was now on my way home to get ready for surgery. But, I had to get into Eric's truck before I could begin this chapter of my story. I got out of the wheelchair and approached the open door to the truck. I held onto the door handle and lifted my foot up to the running board.  Now I had to pull myself up to the awaiting seat.  My leg and arm would not lift me into the truck.  I started falling backward and told Eric, who was right behind me, that I was not going to be able to lift myself into the seat.  He stopped me from falling backward and put one arm under my legs and the other around my back and lifted me into the seat.  I don't know how he did it, but I was so glad he was there.  I was quite embarrassed that I had such a difficult time getting in the darn truck.  It must have been one of those that you need a step ladder to get in.  Stephanie and the kids were there and I hope that they didn't think that dear old Grandpa wasn't too wimpy.  Anyway, we finally got on the road and turned south down I15.

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    9 min
  • Episode 7: Radiation
    May 15 2023

    So my encounter with radiation begins.  Radiation.  What can I say?  I got my only tattoo.  My radiologist had me come in for a visit and explained what was going to happen and told me I needed to go into the exam room and have a tattoo on my bottom side to indicate where the radiation beams would be aimed.  The technician measured and measured and then put two very tiny dots where they would send that poison into my body.  I would visit this room 5 days a week for 6 weeks for about 15 minutes each time. I would also be taking an oral treatment of Chemotherapy twice a day every day for those 6 weeks.  Dr. Barney told me that the first 3 or 4 weeks would be no problem.  I would start thinking that this was just a walk in the park.    Easy-peasy, right?  Week 5 came along and wham, bam, things started to go downhill fast.  I could actually feel my strength leaving my body.  Each day was worse than the last.  Week six was so terrible.  I could barely get into the exam room and get my clothes off for the treatments.  I was starting to burn so badly at the point of radiation entry.  I was so sick to my stomach.  I was extremely weak and sore all over my body.  I really didn't know if it was because of the radiation or the oral chemo.  I didn't know if I was going to be able to live until that week was over.  Well, I almost didn't.

    I hope you have enjoyed this episode of Healing. Please feel free to join me each week for the next 2 or 3 months, and hopefully, I can help you or someone you know become a stronger cancer warrior. Share this musical podcast with your friends and family. Cancer needs to be put in its place!

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    17 min