“I can’t emphasize enough with blended families, you are going to have differences and you’re going to have things that you work through, and there’s a healthy way to work through it, and there’s an unhealthy way.”

What happens when you blend two families, each with its unique dynamics and histories? Our host Ed Coambs sits down with Mikel Van Cleve, a PhD student at Texas Tech University who focuses on blended families and financial planning. Mikel shares both his academic insights and personal journey of merging his family with his wife Heather, each bringing two children from previous relationships. They discuss the essential role of communication and explore strategies for managing different parenting styles and co-parenting with exes.

Ever thought about the financial complexities of blended families? Marrying someone often means factoring in their financial history, including obligations like alimony or child support. Mikel’s real-life anecdotes illuminate how ongoing changes, like an ex-spouse's remarriage, can impact the family system, making the need for clear communication and adaptable strategies all the more critical.

From setting boundaries to navigating favoritism and conflicts, Ed and Mikel’s conversation offers a roadmap for creating harmonious relationships. They touch on the vital need for tailored estate planning to ensure fair inheritance and explore the emotional landscape that accompanies these financial decisions. Whether you're part of a blended family or just curious, this episode provides invaluable insights into fostering a nurturing environment for everyone involved.

Key Topics:

• Mikel’s Blended Family Story (02:27)
• Financial Management in Blended Families (04:20)
• Challenges and Strategies for Blended Families (10:49)
• Legal Rights around Blended Families (15:57)
• Estate Planning for Blended Families (20:47)
• Understanding Blended Families’ Unique Dynamics with Your Financial Planner (26:35)
• Blended Families and the Dangers of Favoritism (31:34)
• The Importance of Open Communication in Blended Families (37:05)
• Strategies for Growth in Blended Families (43:58)

Resources:

• Mikel Van Cleve on LinkedIn

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“Perfection is not a standard that can be met, but improvement absolutely is. Know that the IRS doesn't expect you to be perfect. The IRS mandate is to collect the substantially correct amount of tax, not the exact amount.”

Managing taxes can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially when one partner is self-employed. In this part 2 episode, Hannah Cole from Sunlight Tax joins again to share her journey, filled with stressful moments and heated arguments, all stemming from her initial lack of tax knowledge. She and Ed debunk the myth of tax perfection and focus on the importance of continual learning and improvement, particularly for freelancers who grapple with tracking profits and losses. Discover how couples can achieve financial harmony by understanding each other's financial responsibilities and the unique pressures faced by the primary breadwinner.

Freelancers and sole proprietors often find themselves lost in a maze of tax complexities. Many stumble into freelancing and are suddenly expected to master bookkeeping and tax management. Hannah reveals practical tips on the appropriate levels of bookkeeping and the tools to use based on the scale of one's business. This conversation empowers freelancers to manage their finances with confidence and avoid common pitfalls.

Financial transparency between spouses is critical, especially when dealing with joint tax returns and the nuances of self-employment taxes. Hannah and Ed dive into the different fee structures of financial advisors and the necessity of estimated quarterly taxes for freelancers. Hannah’s insights demystify the tax process and provide actionable advice for alleviating tax-related anxiety. Listen in for a revealing discussion that will help you take control of your financial well-being and foster a healthier financial relationship with your partner.

Key Topics:

• Taxes, Financial Intimacy, and Couples’ Knowledge Gaps (02:18)
• Financial Management for Small Businesses: Profits and Losses, Owner’s Compensation, and Equity (04:42)
• Accounting for Freelancers and Small Businesses (11:59)
• Financial Literacy, Bookkeeping, and Gender Dynamics in Personal Finance (16:42)
• Financial Advisor Fees and Transparency (25:54)
• Joint Tax Returns and Financial Transparency in Marriage (29:22)
• Quarterly Tax Payments (34:04)
• Wrap-Up and Parting Wisdom: Aim for Improvement, Not Perfection (39:02)

Resources:

• Sunlight Tax
• Sunlight Podcast

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get

“I think you need to hold space and have empathy for yourself, about looking at it [taxes] and attempt to look at it as information and as neutral, even though you're probably going to have these stories that swirl in your head.”

How can understanding taxes strengthen your marriage? Our host Ed Coambs tackles this intriguing question alongside Hannah Cole, an artist turned tax educator. Hannah's journey from shying away from the business and taxes side of things to becoming a beacon of support for self-employed individuals is nothing short of inspiring. You’ll find yourself nodding along as Ed and Hannah discuss the common feelings of judgment from tax professionals and the vital role empathy plays in making money conversations less awkward and more productive.

Facing the emotional turbulence of tax season can be daunting, especially within the context of a marriage. Hannah helps us navigate this rocky terrain by shedding light on the vulnerability and shame many feel when revealing personal financial details. Ed and Hannah reflect on the need for a more human-centered design. By emphasizing the importance of relational support and empathy, the aim is to alleviate the anxiety often accompanying financial discussions and improve mutual understanding between partners.

Hannah and Ed also explore the concept of financial innocence and the idea of money as a neutral tool. They discuss practical advice on understanding self-employment tax, paying estimated quarterly taxes, and the consequences of neglecting these responsibilities. The discussion touches on the psychological and moral development necessary for a balanced perspective on money and the importance of confronting deep-seated fears about feeling broken or flawed. Tune in next week for a continuation of this rich, informative discussion designed to make financial conversations more approachable, empathetic, and productive.

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Hannah! Taxes, Artistry, and Financial Intimacy (02:03)
• Importance of True Understanding for Personal and Business Growth (04:27)
• Design Flaws in the Tax System (12:40)
• Taxes, Representation, and Financial Literacy (16:50)
• Tax Responsibility and Challenges for Married Couples (22:01)
• Money Agency and its Impact on Financial Decision-Making (27:49)
• Psychological and Moral Factors Behind Money (32:28)
• Tax Debt, Empathy in Accounting, and Avoiding Scams (37:31)
• Tax Fears, Comfort, and Growth with a Tax Professional (43:27)

Resources:

• Sunlight Tax
• Sunlight Podcast

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money...

“Financial intimacy is as important as physical, romantic intimacy. It is as important and it takes a lot of vulnerability being able to trust another person to see what you have and what you don't have, and to still accept you and love you for that. That requires so much vulnerability.”

Get ready to transform your understanding of financial harmony in relationships! Our host, Ed Coambs, and fellow Financial Therapist Dr. Traci Williams share their wealth of knowledge on addressing financial conflicts within couples. You'll be equipped with actionable insights on why it’s crucial to understand each other's financial backgrounds and experiences before diving into budgeting. Traci explains how emotional and psychological factors play a pivotal role in financial decision-making, and why empathy and open communication are essential in resolving conflicts.

Ever wondered how your past trauma might be affecting your ability to plan for the future? Dr. Williams enlightens us on the importance of connecting with our future selves and the profound impact childhood trauma can have on this ability. Discover various therapeutic approaches to healing past wounds and why there's no one-size-fits-all solution. From envisioning future stages of life to focusing on personal growth, you'll find strategies to aid in your journey toward a healthier financial and emotional future.

Learn the critical importance of discussing finances early in relationships and identifying red flags that could jeopardize financial harmony. Dive into practical ways to align family values with financial decisions, and how to engage family members, even young children, in meaningful conversations about values and priorities. This episode is packed with essential advice to foster stronger family bonds and financial well-being.

Key Topics:

• Understanding Each Other’s Money Perspectives (01:17)
• Manage Conflict by Taking Breaks, Remembering Positive Aspects of Each Other (05:36)
• Connecting with Future Self, Healing Childhood Trauma, and Taking Action toward Your Desired Future (16:09)
• Financial Intimacy and Vulnerability in Relationships (22:27)
• Financial Therapy and the Connection to Personal Finance, Relationships, and Trauma (29:23)
• Navigating Hard Financial Decisions in Relationships (34:32)
• The Values Around a Financial Therapist (41:35)

Resources:

• Healthy Wealthy Roots on IG and TikTok
• Poui Consulting

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money

“Money can feel like this thing that we just can’t touch because it causes too much distress. I like to point out how their thinking might be causing some of those distressful feelings.”

What if reframing your beliefs about money could transform your relationships and well-being? Our host Ed Coambs chats with fellow Financial Therapist Jennifer Calder. From her early career in international development to her vital work in domestic violence support, Jennifer's journey is a testament to the power of addressing money-related stress in therapy. She uncovers how financial intimacy can be a cornerstone of healthier relationships and shares personal anecdotes from her childhood in a wealthy community that reveal how financial issues can touch anyone, regardless of economic status.

Money, shame, and empowerment are deeply connected. Jennifer provides actionable strategies to reduce money-related shame by understanding the psychological underpinnings of financial decisions. She also discusses common money scripts, especially among those in helping professions, and how these scripts influence attitudes toward wealth and self-worth.

Ed and Jennifer reveal the intricate skills therapists use, such as active listening and pacing, to foster effective financial communication. They examine how cultural and religious beliefs shape our financial behaviors and the impact of family dynamics on money conversations. Jennifer emphasizes the critical role of self-awareness for both clients and financial professionals in creating meaningful financial plans. All this and much more in this episode of Healthy Love and Money!

Key Topics:

• Jennifer’s Professional Journey (01:57)
• Money Shame, Financial Therapy, and How it Helps People Make Better Decisions (09:17)
• Pacing, Silence, and Feedback in Therapy Sessions and the Impact on Client Outcomes (19:43)
• Money Scripts, Genograms, and Their Impact on Financial Planning and Therapy (34:53)
• Money Mindset and its Impact on Financial Well-being (41:45)

Resources:

• MoneyMindsetConsulting.com

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“Boundaries are an important part of budgeting, but so is flexibility. And the more humans you have in your family, or the more dynamics you have in your financial life, the more flexibility you need.”

What if there were a way to make budgeting less stressful and more sustainable? On this episode of Healthy Love and Money, our host Ed Coambs welcomes Natalie Taylor, a seasoned financial planner with over 20 years of experience, to share her unique insights on balancing boundaries and flexibility in family finances. Natalie’s innovative approach to budgeting emphasizes flexible boundaries, aiming to make financial planning adaptable and less burdensome for families with fluctuating incomes.

Ever wondered how to categorize and manage your household expenses without getting overwhelmed? Ed and Natalie break down the concepts of fixed and flex expenses, offering practical advice on maintaining control over your finances. From using dedicated credit cards for variable spending to handling kids' sports costs, Natalie provides a structured yet flexible framework that keeps financial surprises at bay.

Ed and Natalie then explore the often-overlooked concept of non-monthly expenses and how to plan for them effectively. Natalie shares actionable tips on setting up a dedicated account to manage these irregular costs, ensuring a steady cash flow throughout the year. They also touch on optimizing credit card points within a budgeting system and the value of financial intimacy. Take a moment to reflect on these insights and consider how they can be integrated into your life for better financial health.

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Natalie Taylor! (01:40)
• Budgeting and Managing Finances to Avoid Shame and Judgement (06:31)
• #1: Fixed Expenses (10:09)
• #2: Flex Expenses (15:20)
• #3: Non-Monthly Expenses (23:58)
• Potential Resistance to the Flow Perspective (30:54)
• Wrap-Up (37:50)

Resources:

• Natalie Taylor on LinkedIn
• The Goodland Group

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“Because we can’t avoid money, money is going to resurface [past trauma]. As grownups, we can predict, if not guarantee that money will surface or trigger these past associations.”

Unlock the hidden pathways between your financial decisions and emotional well-being with our host Ed Coambs and returning guest Amanda Clayman. In this enlightening discussion, Ed and Amanda look into the often-unspoken world of financial trauma, where seemingly unrelated spending patterns reveal deep-seated emotional connections. They bring to light the physiological similarities between financial and sexual arousal and the mysterious nature of dissociative splurges that often go unnoticed in our day-to-day lives.

Step into the complex dance of family dynamics, where childhood scarcity meets adult fiscal success, and emotions run high. Whether it's a simple family dinner or confronting parental expectations, you'll see how these experiences shape our financial narrative and the intricate web of feelings that emerge when money intertwines with our most intimate relationships.

The journey toward financial intimacy is not a straight line but a series of steps, each offering a deeper understanding of love and money. The episode concludes with an affirmation of growth and the therapeutic power of humor, when appropriate, to navigate life's complexities.

Key Topics:

• Financial Trauma and How it Affects us Today (02:37)
• Financial Dissociation and its Impact on Emotional State (06:41)
• Managing Emotions and Needs in Financial Decision-making (13:08)
• When to (and not to) Use Humor in Coping (19:46)
• Personal Growth, Vulnerability, and Overcoming Fear (23:58)
• Gender Roles, Ambivalence, and Emotional Labor (31:06)
• Money as a Symbol and Tool, with Personal Transformative Potential (38:15)
• Emotional and Symbolic Exploration in Financial Therapy (42:37)
• Healing through Nonlinear Processing (48:53)

Resources:

• AmandaClayman.com

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“That is how we should be thinking about the role of money in our lives - as a training kind of engagement, around, being able to not unconsciously react to things, but being able to stay in a regulated contextualized state as we're doing financial tasks.”

Have you ever caught yourself in a spiral of financial worry, only to realize that your bank account isn't the real issue, but rather the stories you tell yourself about money? Our host Ed Coambs is joined by fellow financial therapist Amanda Clayman, who guides us through the emotional labyrinth of our fiscal lives. Together, Ed and Amanda dissect the emotional underpinnings and self-regulatory challenges that shape our financial decisions. It's not just about the numbers on your bank statement; it's about the conversations we have with ourselves and within our relationships that often dictate our financial outcomes.

Our journey with Amanda doesn't stop at self-discovery; it's also a deep exploration of the roadblocks that keep us from seeing our true financial behaviors. Ever find yourself wondering why, despite best efforts, your finances seem to be running on a hamster wheel of stress and guilt? Ed and Amanda tackle the tricky business of financial blind spots and the importance of self-awareness, even when it leads to discomfort and a boomerang effect of shame. By understanding the fight-flight responses our bodies conjure up in the face of money woes, the financial therapist duo lay the groundwork for financial health that resonates beyond our wallets.

In a world where financial tension can strain even the strongest of relationships, how do we navigate the choppy waters without capsizing our emotional well-being? Ed and Amanda illustrate this with a candid look into financial trauma, drawing parallels with the delicate dance of arousal in both fiscal and intimate relationships. Listen in next week for part 2 of this conversation in which Ed and Amanda dig deeper into pre-conceived judgments, financial trauma, financial arousal with your partner, and more!

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Amanda Clayman! (01:47)
• Financial Anxiety, Insecurity, and Adaptation in Personal Finance (04:53)
• Financial Blind Spots and Self-Awareness in Therapy (09:44)
• Financial Security and Self-regulation Using Polyvagal Theory (15:51)
• The Importance of Emotional Connection in Financial Decision-making (27:42)
• How Financial Trauma Directly Affects Financial Decision-making (32:21)

Resources:

• AmandaClayman.com

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.