Everyone thinks growing up in a cult is hard. But, that's not the hard part. The most difficult part of all is LEAVING. In this Part-2 episode, my friend Amanda and I are back in the studio. I share my story of what led up to me leaving, I share the racism in the cult, and how I finally got myself to make the decision...to then uproot my entire life and start over, at age 30.

TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Teaser and Trigger Warning 00:17 Intro 01:08 Sound check 02:09 "What's the best compliment you've ever been given?" 03:19 "Is this incentuous?" 04:52 Starting the episode 05:44 Su*c*de Ideation 07:15 The Worst Curse Word On the Planet 08:14 Amanda continues story about feeling su*c*dal 11:04 The meaning of life (according to Mormons) 12:09 I continue my story (Noticing Overt Racism in Fundamentalist Mormonism) 14:29 The religious story of how everyone got their skin color 25:05 I start telling others about my upbringing, and begin traveling 26:54 The realization I had looking out my window of a flight 29:56 Experiencing Hell 33:01 Origin of my internal conflicts 33:25 Reaching my decision point 33:49 The moment my life changed—the audio-note. 41:48 Personal reflections on that moment of the audio-note 43:38 Willful Blindness as a means of protection 46:12 "How the h*ll did you do that, Calvin?" 49:01 Beginning my transition out of the cult 50:48 Lessons from leaving 53:46 Looking ahead to future episodes (Wait…is that Kelly Slater??!)