In this episode, we explore the reasons behind why individuals replay past events and the patterns of behaviour that emerge from these experiences. We discuss the impact of fixed identities, sedimented beliefs, the weight of regret and shame, and the importance of self-compassion in navigating these feelings.

The conversation emphasises the need for understanding our decision-making processes and the illusion of right choices, while also highlighting the significance of seeking help and support when feeling overwhelmed.

We hope that this discussion provides insights into breaking the cycle of overthinking and fostering personal growth.

Takeaways

We often replay the past due to ingrained patterns of behaviour.

Fixed identities can limit our perception of choices.

Shame and regret can lead to self-torture in our thoughts.

Decisions made in the past were based on available evidence at the time.

Self-compassion is crucial for personal growth and healing.

Thoughts are not facts; they can be observed and challenged.

Seeking help is not a weakness but a necessary step for recovery.

We take our existing patterns with us into new situations.

It's important to learn from the past without harsh judgment.

Acceptance of where we are now is the first step to change.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we explore the importance of investing in friendships, the challenges of nurturing them as life changes, and the vital role of communication and vulnerability in maintaining connections. It can be easy to let connections slide as life gets busy, however we often regret the loss of friendships when this happens.

We emphasise the need for balance between self-care and social engagement, highlighting how meaningful relationships contribute to our overall well-being and sense of purpose. If we don’t value ourselves we can feel that others won’t mind, or even notice, if we don’t see them. And this can mean that relationships slide away without us necessarily meaning to let them do so.

It takes work to keep up with friendships especially as we get older, however the benefits are so valuable for us. Sometimes self-care means pushing ourselves to do something that feels effortful but will be meaningful for us.

Takeaways

Friendships often take a backseat as life gets busier.

Long-term friendships require ongoing nurturing to thrive.

Life changes can impact the time and energy we invest in friendships.

Communication is key to maintaining connections, especially during tough times.

Self-worth can affect how we engage in friendships.

Balancing self-care with social connections is crucial.

Creating meaning in life often comes from our relationships with others.

Community support is essential for mental well-being.

Modern connections may differ but are still valuable.

Acts of kindness can create a virtuous cycle of connection.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we delve into what it really means to feel ‘ready’. We talk about our own experiences of not being ready to act, and what was holding us back. We explore how things like perfectionism, nerves and putting things off can hold us back, and why waiting for the ‘perfect moment’ often just keeps us stuck.

Along the way, we touch on relationships, decision-making, and why it helps to explore, and get comfortable with, a bit of uncertainty. Readiness isn’t something you wait for - it’s something you do, with courage and self-awareness

takeaways

• We can prevent ourselves from doing things because we don't feel ready.
• Perfectionism can create barriers to taking action.
• Anxiety can amplify feelings of unpreparedness.
• The need for everything to be perfect can hinder progress.
• Procrastination is often linked to fear of failure.
• There is no such thing as perfect conditions for starting something new.
• Waiting for the right time can lead to missed opportunities.
• Tolerating discomfort is essential for growth and action.
• Clarity in our intentions can help us move forward.
• Taking action is more important than waiting to feel ready.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss that there are two types of ‘fixing’. There’s the wanting to fix ourselves because we believe we are ‘broken’ or ‘damaged’ and the wanting to change the way in which we meet a particular situation in order to manage ourselves in a more helpful manner.

If we can move away from the idea that we need to be fixed, and turn more to the idea that other ways of engaging with our world might be more supportive – that a behaviour or attitude might benefit from being fixed – then we just might find more peace in our life.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss feeling responsible for other people's feelings. Often that means that we can find it hard to stick to our boundaries because we don’t want to upset other people. This can then lead us to feeling that our needs don’t count and we can become frustrated, sad or even angry.

Of course we don’t like to upset others, however we are all responsible for how we respond to situations. It is possible to take accountability for our own actions, but not how others respond to those actions. And this is important though difficult to remember this when we are faced with the distress of others.

Generally it’s not an either/or choice, it is possible to take care of our own feelings and the feelings of others.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss the pros and cons of having labels. They can help us to understand ourselves, and to find people who are like us. They can also separate us from others, lead us to judge and be judged for our opinions.

This episode became something we weren’t expecting! We ended up debating the consequences of aligning ourselves too closely to our opinions, the labels we use to describe ourselves and the dangers of not allowing ourselves to have a genuine curiosity about the reasons we, and others identify with the labels they pick for themselves.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we explore some of the reasons we might avoid conflict; for example, childhood experiences or relationship issues. We also explore the feelings that might come when thinking about disagreeing with someone, a fear of not being liked, a lack of safety, anxiety, a fear of feeling under attack for our opinions.

We also share our personal experiences; one of us was conflict-avoidant and one moved towards conflict when a sense of injustice was present. We have moved closer together in the ways we manage differences of opinion and conflict and we reflect on those.

We suggest ways of moving towards being able to hear and state differences of opinion with others without it feeling catastrophic.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode was all about the fear of missing out. We explored the very human desire to be a part of everything, do everything and be fully involved with everything!

We discussed how we can explore our feelings about being not part of something, to make sense of them in the current context, and to be aware of any old patterns that might be impacting on our experience of this current FOMO. We leaned on our familiar questions – is how I’m interpreting this true? And is it about me?

We explore how we might let go of the stories we are telling ourself and meet the situation in a way that supports us, rather than makes us feel bad.

Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.