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In this episode, my brother, Travis Stephensen, and I discuss the challenges of letting go of judgment—both toward ourselves and our missionaries. We discuss the negative narratives we often tell ourselves, like “I’m not enough” or “Did I do enough to prepare my child for their mission?” and how these feelings can creep into how we view our kids' progress.

Travis shares insights about the unrealistic standards we set and how they can create a gap between where we are and where we think we should be. We discuss the importance of grace, reframing our meager offerings, and the incredible ways God multiplies what we bring—even if it feels small or imperfect.

We also explore how to support missionaries when they feel they’re not measuring up, offering them validation, permission to feel, and a safe space to share their struggles. Finally, we reflect on how gratitude and grounding can shift our perspective, helping both parents and missionaries find peace in the journey.

Wherever you’re at in your missionary mom experience, remember: your feelings are valid, your efforts matter, and we’re here for all of it—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Let’s embrace the messy middle together!

Mentioned in this episode:

• The power of listening without trying to fix
• God’s “impossible math” with our offerings
• How to normalize emotions for yourself and your missionary

Thank you for being here. Let’s keep putting goodness into the world. 💛

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

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In this episode, I discuss how to process your emotions. You hear people say to feel your feelings all the time, but there isn't much information on how exactly that happens. I introduce the steps to help you feel your feelings, and it starts with validating your experience and acknowledging that what you are feeling is real and valid. The second step is normalizing your feelings. Normalize that, of course, you feel this way, which is separate from justifying. Last step is permission to feel. How many times were did you suck it up? How many times do our missionaries have to suck it up?

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

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I share my recent experience of home MTC and give some tools for activating your nervous system. It's a process of learning and understanding your emotional landscape without judgment. Team Hyper can feel very energized, and burning off energy may work for you; it didn't for me in this case. But softening and finding which muscles were clinched worked well.

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

Trying to decide if working with me would be a good idea? Sign up for a free one-hour consultation: https://calendly.com/michellesevans-coach/missionary-mom

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In this episode, I break down the emotional cycle we all experience—especially during the highs and lows of having a missionary out in the field. From Team Hyper (stress, anxiety, anger) to Team Hypo (sadness, depression, withdrawal), emotions can feel overwhelming. I share tools to stay regulated, co-regulate with your missionary, and return to your zone of resilience.

Learn how to:

• Recognize when you’re stuck in hyper or hypo states.
• Use co-regulation to help your missionary process emotions without getting stuck.
• Access calm through simple techniques like breathing and prayer.
• Support yourself after emotional conversations, so you can show up fully for your family and your missionary.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by big emotions, this episode offers practical strategies to help you regulate and reconnect with calm.

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

Trying to decide if working with me would be a good idea? Sign up for a free one-hour consultation: https://calendly.com/michellesevans-coach/missionary-mom

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I’m so grateful you’ve joined me today. In this episode, I’m continuing our important series on supporting missionaries experiencing mission delays and struggles with pornography. I believe we need all the resources we can get on this topic, so I’ve brought in a special guest, Marie Poulter, an emotional health coach who specializes in helping individuals find freedom from pornography.

Marie shares insights from her work with both teens and adults, emphasizing the importance of distinguishing between habits and addiction. In her practice, she and her husband focus on working with people who want to change, offering tools to overcome habits and escape cycles without shame or guilt.

We also discuss:

• The role of parents in providing emotional safety.
• The damaging effects of shame and how it perpetuates dishonesty.
• How missionaries can manage urges using the SLAB tool: Stop, Leave, Allow, and Breathe.
• Understanding the natural challenges missionaries face, including surges of sex hormones.
• How parents can regulate their own nervous systems and create a safe space for open conversations with their children.
• Shifting perspectives: Mistakes are not failures—they’re opportunities to gather data and move forward.

Marie offers encouragement to parents and missionaries alike, sharing stories of real transformation. Together, we explore how small shifts in dialogue, empathy, and support can lead to lasting change.

Where to Find Marie Poulter
Visit Marie and her husband’s website: www.pornographyfreedom.com
Email mariebpoulter@gmail.com

What to do with an Urge-
A Freedom From Pornography Tool:
SLAB “throw a slab to stop you from dropping down (answering the urge).
S=STOP and see what’s happening- get present in the moment
L= LEAVE - leave the bathroom, your phone, your computer.
A-ALLOW the physical symptoms of the urge.
B- BREATH through the physical symptoms of the urge. The urge WILL pass.
The more you practice SLABBING an urge, the quieter they get!

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

Trying to decide if working with me would be a good idea? Sign up for a free one-hour consultation: https://calendly.com/michellesevans-coach/missionary-mom

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In this episode, I chat with Ben, a coach who works with parents and missionaries to tackle the sensitive subject of pornography. We talk about how fear can sometimes take over when we hear our child is struggling and how we can shift to a more faith-based approach that fosters honesty, safety, and long-term success.

Find Ben Pugh: https://benpughcoaching.com/bio/
Podcast: Impact: Parenting with Perspective:
iTunes

Parenting Trap Quiz

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

Trying to decide if working with me would be a good idea? Sign up for a free one-hour consultation: https://calendly.com/michellesevans-coach/missionary-mom

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In this episode, I’m diving into a topic that’s close to my heart—what happens when your missionary hasn’t fully repented before leaving and comes to realize it during their mission? I’ll share a personal story from my experience and talk about the uncertainty and fear when my son confessed to his mission president over a year into his service.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

• The story of my son’s mission and how unresolved repentance weighed on him.
• How our brains love to fill in gaps, often jumping to worst-case scenarios.
• The idea of being an “80% repenter” versus a “100% repenter” and what that means for your missionary.
• Why it’s so important to create a safe space for your missionary to be honest, without fear or shame.
• Recognizing how our own negative bias as parents can influence how we handle these situations.
• Approaching priesthood leaders and how to have healthy, productive conversations when needed.
• Extending grace to yourself and your child during these tough moments.
• The power of co-regulation—helping to manage both your and your missionary’s nervous systems so you can support each other better.

I also discuss the importance of giving yourself credit and grace as a parent when things don’t go as planned. As missionaries and parents, we’re all learning, and this journey is an opportunity for growth—for both you and your child.

Finally, I’m excited to share that I’ll soon be offering a few free mini-coaching sessions. These are perfect for anyone who wants extra support as they navigate their missionary’s preparation, service, or return. Stay tuned for details on how to sign up!

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

Trying to decide if working with me would be a good idea? Sign up for a free one-hour consultation: https://calendly.com/michellesevans-coach/missionary-mom

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In this episode of LDS Missionary Moms, I share a personal story from my own experience when my son had a difficult and unsafe missionary companion. I explain how this experience affected my nervous system and led me through different emotional stages. I introduce the concept of the "Zone of Resilience" and describe how our brains react to stress by shifting into what I call "Team Hyper" or "Team Hypo."

In this episode, I discuss:

• How to recognize when you're leaving your Zone of Resilience
• The signs of being in "Team Hyper" (such as anxiety, anger, and racing thoughts) or "Team Hypo" (which involves shutdown, withdrawal, and disconnection)
• Practical tools to help you return to a state of balance and regulation
• The importance of understanding your body's response to stress, especially when supporting your missionary

Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them:
michellesevans.coach@gmail.com

Missionary Mom Journal: https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Mom-Chronicles-Michelle-Evans/dp/B0CFZ9GZS8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2FMSPY3SBZMDG&keywords=missionary+mom+journal&qid=1704483351&sprefix=missionary+mom+journa%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-4

Trying to decide if working with me would be a good idea? Sign up for a free one-hour consultation: https://calendly.com/michellesevans-coach/missionary-mom

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