When your anxious attachment is triggered, your body panics and your brain spins stories like, “They’re going to leave” or “I’m not enough.” It feels real, but it’s not a real threat — it’s your nervous system asking for regulation.

Self-regulation means calming your body before reacting, before texting, before spiraling. When you pause, breathe, and comfort yourself first, your brain learns that emotions are safe to feel. The goal isn’t to stop feeling — it’s to stop believing every anxious thought.

Your panic is the cue to pause, not act. Ask yourself: – Am I in the present or in a story from the past? – What am I making this mean? – What do I need to feel safe right now?

Regulate your body — breathe, splash cold water, journal, walk, or wrap yourself in a blanket. Then talk to yourself kindly: “It’s okay that I feel this way. My brain is just triggered. I can feel this and still be safe.”

This work isn’t about becoming hyper-independent — it’s about self-trust. When you soothe yourself first, you show your brain you’re capable of handling discomfort without needing immediate validation.

Remember: Trigger → Big Emotion → Pause → Self-Regulate → Self-Compassion → Thought Work → Reconnect

You don’t need to act on panic to feel secure. You can hold space for your feelings, regulate your nervous system, and choose peace before you text them.

“The power is in the pause — regulate before you react, because your safety starts with you.”

📩 Work With Me

You don’t have to do this work alone! ✨ Schedule a FREE 1-hour consultation → amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com ✨ Join my 12-week coaching program to stop your anxious attachment cycle, build confidence, and finally feel secure in your relationships and life.

Links and Resources:

• Get my free Guide: Calming Your Anxious Attachment
• Linktree to all things happening now: https://linktr.ee/takingbackherbrain

Let’s Connect:

• Follow me on instagram: @anxiousattachmentsolution
• Follow me on Facebook: Anxious Attachment Solution Life Coach Amber
• Follow me on substack: @takingbacherbraincoaching

Email me at Amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com for a free one hour consultation

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much”—too needy, too emotional, too sensitive—this episode is for you. In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the real reason you feel too much and believe it, why this belief keeps you stuck in the anxious attachment cycle, and how you can finally change it.

We’ll explore how this “too much” belief shows up in dating, relationships, and everyday life—often leading to overthinking, people-pleasing, defensiveness, or shutting down. And I’ll teach you the first step in rewiring your brain so you can calm your nervous system, trust yourself, and confidently show up as the person you want to be.

Key Takeaways

• You are not too much — you just have an unmanaged anxious attachment cycle.
• Feeling “too much” is learned from past experiences and repeated thoughts that became a belief.
• This belief fuels fear, self-doubt, people-pleasing, emotional reactivity, and low self-worth.
• Your thoughts create your feelings → your feelings drive your actions → your actions create your results.
• You can interrupt this cycle by using The Secure Method:

🧠 Thought Work in Action

To rewire your brain, start with thought ladders:

• Current thought: “I am too much.”
• Bridge thoughts to practice:
  • “I am not too much for my people.”
  • “Some people will love me for who I am.”
  • “I have anxious attachment and I am enough.”
• Secure thought to aim for: “I am enough. I am worthy.”

Practice these thoughts daily—on sticky notes, alarms, or journaling—to build new beliefs over time.

🛠️ Practical Steps to Try

1. Notice & Name Your Cycle:
   • What triggers you?
   • What anxious thoughts come up?
   • How do they make you feel?
   • What actions do you take (or avoid)?
   • What result does this create?
2. Pause Before Reacting: Validate your feelings, offer yourself kindness, and ask:
   • “What do I need right now to feel safe?”
3. Practice Secure Thoughts: Use thought ladders to slowly teach your brain new beliefs.

❤️ Remember

• You are NOT your anxious attachment.
• You are not “too much.”
• You can rewire your brain and create secure, healthy habits in relationships.
• You are worthy, lovable, and enough—exactly as you are.

📩 Work With Me

You don’t have to do this work alone! ✨ Schedule a FREE 1-hour consultation → amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com ✨ Join my 12-week coaching program to stop your anxious attachment cycle, build confidence, and finally feel secure in your relationships and life.

Links and Resources:

• Get my free Guide: Calming Your Anxious Attachment
• Linktree to all things happening now: https://linktr.ee/takingbackherbrain

Let’s Connect:

• Follow me on instagram: @anxiousattachmentsolution
• Follow me on Facebook: Anxious Attachment Solution Life Coach Amber
• Follow me on substack: @takingbacherbraincoaching

Email me at Amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com for a free one hour consultation

Welcome to the Anxious Attachment Solution Podcast with Life Coach Amber Lynn If you’ve ever wondered “Do I really have anxious attachment?”—this series is for you. Today I’m diving into part two of 10 signs you might have anxious attachment and what you can do to break free from these patterns.

✨ In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why anxious attachment makes you feel like you can never rest (hypervigilance)
• How people-pleasing and taking everything personally keeps you stuck
• The truth about self-worth, low self-esteem, and rewriting the story your brain tells you
• Why avoiding conflict creates more conflict and resentment—and how to handle it differently
• What to do when you feel like you’re “too much” or “not enough” in relationships
• How to stop riding the emotional rollercoaster and start regulating your nervous system
• The difference between reality and the “stories” your anxious brain makes up during conflict
• How to begin building self-trust and trust in relationships

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Hypervigilance doesn’t protect you—it keeps you disconnected from the present moment.
• People-pleasing is actually self-protection, but it costs you your authenticity.
• Self-worth isn’t fixed; it’s built thought by thought.
• Conflict doesn’t mean danger—it’s an opportunity for growth when handled with awareness.
• Your anxious attachment is not you—it’s a set of habits you can rewire.

📌 Try This:

• Next time you catch yourself scanning for signs something is “wrong,” pause and ask: “Am I future-tripping or am I present?”
• When facing conflict, ask yourself: “What is my brain making this mean? What is my partner actually saying?”
• Start practicing new thoughts on purpose to create secure self-worth.

✨ Remember: You are inherently worthy. You are not too much. You are not your anxious attachment.

📩 Want to go deeper? I offer a 12-week 1:1 coaching program designed to help you rewire your brain, calm your nervous system, and create the secure relationships you deserve. Schedule a free 1-hour consultation—whether you’re curious about coaching or just want a sample session.

👉 Email me at amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com with your questions or topics you’d love to hear covered on the podcast.

Links and Resources:

• Get my free Guide: Calming Your Anxious Attachment
• Free 4 day video Training Being YOU doesn’t have to be scary
• Linktree to all things happening now: https://linktr.ee/takingbackherbrain

Let’s Connect:

• Follow me on instagram: @anxiousattachmentsolution
• Follow me on Facebook: Anxious Attachment Solution Life Coach Amber
• Follow me on substack: @takingbacherbraincoaching
• Share your thoughts and experiences with the hashtag #anxiousattachmentsolution and tag @anxiousattachmentsolution

Email me at Amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com for a free one hour consultation