As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play a vital role in your child’s/teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-child/teen relationship while building essential listening skills in your child/teen.

Your child’s/teen’s success depends upon their ability to listen and understand what you and others are communicating. Listening skills can support your child’s/teen’s ability to engage in healthy relationships, focus, and learn. For example, children/teens must listen to their teacher if they follow directions and successfully navigate expectations at school. Not surprisingly, better listening skills are associated with school success.

Children/Teens ages 11-14 are carving out their identity, and their measuring stick is often their peers’ opinions and approval. They come to better understand themselves through interactions with you, their teachers, and their peers. This is a critical time to teach and practice listening skills.

However, everyone encounters difficulties in listening. With screens, such as mobile devices, captivating children and teens for hours each day, it's easy to overlook opportunities to engage with your child or teen and practice listening skills. Effective listening involves utilizing crucial skills such as impulse control, focused attention, empathy, and both nonverbal and verbal communication.

For parents or those in a parenting role, the key to many challenges, like building essential listening skills, is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your child’s/teen’s needs. The steps below include specific and practical strategies to prepare you for growing this vital skill.

Whether your eleven-year-old continues to play video games when you’ve told them screen time is over, or your fourteen-year-old daydreams during the teacher’s instructions and does not know how to do their homework, establishing regular ways to practice listening skills can prepare your child/teen for family, school, and life success.

Today, in the short term, teaching skills to listen can create

● greater opportunities for connection, cooperation, and enjoyment

● trust in each other that you have the competence to manage your relationships and responsibilities

● a sense of well-being and motivation to engage

● language and literacy fluency

Tomorrow, in the long term, working on effective listening skills with your child/teen

● develops a sense of safety, security, and a belief in self

● builds skills in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making

● deepens family trust and intimacy

This five-step process helps you and your child/teen cultivate effective listening skills, a critical life skill. The same process can also address other parenting issues (learn more about it)[1] .

Tip: These steps are best done when you and your child/teen are not tired or in a rush.

Tip: Intentional communication[2] and healthy parenting relationships[3] will support these steps.

You can get your child/teen thinking about listening skills by asking open-ended questions. You’ll help prompt your child’s/teen’s thinking. You’ll also better understand their thoughts,...