• Synopsis: Blame can destroy a marriage. This episode teaches men how to break the cycle of blaming their spouse for all their problems and how to adopt a solutions-focused mindset instead.

Episode Guide:

• Explore why blaming your spouse creates distance and resentment.

Reasons for blame

• Poor communication

• Emotional distancing

• Resentment

Breaking the cycle of blame begins when you stop blaming her and start taking responsibility for everything.

Notice I didn’t say you start blaming yourself. No, you take responsibility.

When you blame yourself you feel useless or worthless

But….You are needed!

• Provide steps for taking responsibility without self-criticism.

Tips for compassionate accountability without beating yourself up.

1. Get Curious

1. What do your behaviours mean?

2. Insight into yourself.

3. Self-blame, criticism or punishment will not yield insight. Curiosity will.

1. Talk to yourself like you would someone you loved, like a child.

1. Shift how you talk to yourself by doing so like you would talk to a child.

2. What would the younger version of you need to hear?

1. What does accountability look like after you have established self-compassion?

   1. Maybe it is as simple as reflecting on the experience and integrating lessons learned.

   2. Current compassion plus new lessons learned equals future change.

   3. Accountability may look like making amends or repairing a relationship.

• Shift the mindset from “who’s at fault” to “how can we fix this?”

Constant self-blame is exhausting and can erode the very foundation of your self-respect.

Self-Respect is your way out of self-blame.

The importance of learning to be self-compassionate is clear.

Deep compassion doesn't come easy for those stuck in the blame cycle, but practice can help shift this. Practice self-compassion by:

• honoring your limitations and taking breaks

• writing down the self-critical voice and responding with kindness

• visualizing negative thoughts as passing clouds

• self-compassion meditations or mantras

Begin working on your low self esteem

- Stop lying to yourself.

- Start small with one thing. (For me it was laundry.)

Text me at 812-648-3380 and tell me your first name and the one small thing you are going to stop lying to yourself about and start doing with consistency and compassion.

• Synopsis: Address the dynamics of leadership and partnership within a marriage. Help men understand when to step up as a leader and when it’s important to follow their wife’s lead for the health of the relationship.

Episode Guide:

• Discuss what healthy leadership in a marriage looks like.
  
  

What can you do to strengthen your marriage?

• Never stop getting to know each other.

• We cannot love someone we don’t know.

• The most stable couples have a strong friendship as their foundation.

• Play together

• Schedule regular dates.

• Keep focusing on the good things about your partner.

You should aim for at least five positive experiences for every negative one (smiling, touching, laughing, complementing).

• Habitually turn toward each other.

• Make a regular practice of spending 15-minutes together at the end of your day.

• Let your partner influence you.

• Develop a habit and process for addressing conflict.

• Develop a shared purpose. Agree on the big purposes for life and marriage.

• Share examples of when it’s important to follow her lead.

Play to Individual Strengths

In many relationships, the wife may naturally excel in areas such as organization, decision-making, or long-term planning.

For example, if your wife is more financially savvy or excels at managing the household, it makes sense for her to lead in those areas.

• Offer tips for balancing decision-making without power struggles.
  
  

The “two-yes rule.

1. It Promotes Thoughtful Decision-Making

2. It Encourages Healthy Communication And Trust

3. It Supports Individuality Within A Partnership

Join the conversation at MSYM.cc

Questions or Comments?

Message me at 812-648-3380

• Synopsis: Romance isn’t just for the dating stage. This episode provides practical tips for men to become romantic and loving partners again, despite years of emotional drift. From date ideas, spontaneous gestures, and how to emotionally reconnect, all are discussed in this episode.

Episode Guide:

• Practical date ideas and small romantic gestures to reignite love.

Go to: MSYM.cc and get this free guide to rekindle romance in your marriage today.

A guide to Rekindle Romance

• Discuss how to rebuild emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.

Two words….Unexpected Kindness

• Explore the impact of daily affection and attention.

Attention means deep listening, being totally present, having empathy, trying to see from our partner’s perspective.

It means we’re not in a hurry to give advice and react; not in a hurry to interrupt.

Our body language actually shows we are deeply listening.

Appreciating our partner has a direct effect on their health and well-being. Recent interesting data from Gallop shows the following statistics:

• If a manager criticises his or her subordinates then disengagement grows to 25% and people who work for that manager get sick

• If the manager ignores them, disengagement grows to 45%

• But if a manager notices a single strength and appreciates that strength, disengagement falls to less than 1% and people stay healthy.

(Aside from the disastrous effects on the couple relationship, which is our focus here, economically this is said to cost $280 billion to the U.S. economy.)

Affection is deep caring and knowing that we are there for the other person.

In the language of neuroplasticity, we can say this kind of engagement in relationship rewires the brain in a direction where love actually becomes a healing force. It influences hormones, cell repair, homeostasis (biological self-regulation and self-repair).

Questions or comments?

Text me at 812.648.3380

Find me on Twitter at https://x.com/StackingSingles