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Welcome back to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy with your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts. In this episode, we dive deep into the art of solving solvable problems within relationships by exploring John Gottman’s principles. Picking up from our previous discussion on distinguishing solvable issues from perpetual ones, we guide you through a comprehensive roadmap designed to effectively address and resolve conflict.

The episode begins by emphasizing the importance of a gentle startup when entering difficult conversations, to reduce defensiveness and promote an atmosphere conducive to cooperation. We walk you through seven structured steps, starting from articulating the issue clearly, practicing active listening, to brainstorming and proposing collaborative solutions. Additionally, crucial topics such as finding common ground, compromising, and agreeing on a plan are tackled to help both partners feel respected and understood.

Drawing from real-life scenarios and professional insights, we also discuss overcoming common pitfalls like reverting to old communication patterns, addressing emotional triggers, and dealing with external stressors. This empowers listeners to manage conflicts with empathy and teamwork.

Whether dealing with challenging daily disputes or navigating deeper emotional wounds, this episode provides practical strategies for strengthening your relationship's bond. Tune in for valuable tips and a step-by-step guide to transforming conflict into a catalyst for personal and relational growth.

We encourage you to practice these techniques on a small conflict this week, and share your success stories in our dedicated Facebook group. Join us as we continue to transform life's challenges into opportunities for deeper connections and healing.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

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Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where hosts Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists, delve into Gottman's fifth principle of "Solving Your Solvable Problems." In this episode, they explore how identifying and managing solvable issues can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Tim and Ruth begin by reviewing the foundational four principles from Gottman's research: building love maps, nurturing fondness and admiration, turning towards each other, and letting your partner influence you. These steps, they emphasize, are crucial in forming a strong relationship base before tackling problems.

The episode further explains the distinction between solvable and perpetual problems. Solvable issues are situational conflicts such as chores, scheduling, and financial management, which can be addressed with practical solutions. On the other hand, perpetual problems often arise from core personality traits or values and require ongoing management and acceptance.

Listeners are encouraged to distinguish between these two types of problems, focusing their energy on resolving solvable issues to prevent resentment and build confidence within the relationship. Tim and Ruth highlight the importance of protecting emotional bandwidth by managing everyday stressors, allowing couples to be better equipped for tackling deeper, more complex challenges.

In this engaging discussion, Tim and Ruth provide listeners with strategies for identifying their unique solvable and perpetual problems, laying the groundwork for further resolution in upcoming episodes. This episode is essential for anyone looking to enhance their relationship dynamics through effective problem-solving techniques.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

We want to work with YOU!

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Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, hosted by Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists. This week, we continue our exploration of John Gottman's landmark book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," with a deep dive into the fourth principle: letting your partner influence you.

In this episode, Tim and Ruth tackle some common obstacles couples face when sharing mutual influence, such as the fear of losing autonomy and the impact of ego and past traumas. They provide constructive strategies to overcome these barriers, emphasizing that influence should be reciprocal and beneficial for both partners.

The discussion offers practical steps for embracing influence, including learning how to listen actively, valuing your partner's expertise, and practicing small tests of openness. With their trademark blend of personal anecdotes and professional insights, Tim and Ruth guide listeners on how maintaining humility and mutual respect can transform challenges into opportunities for deeper connection.

Join the Olsons as they empower you with the skills needed to foster healthier communication and enduring love in your relationship. Tune in for expert advice, engaging dialogue, and strategies that can help turn adversity into triumph in your marriage.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

We want to work with YOU!

15 Minute Free Consultation

Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Welcome to another enlightening episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where seasoned therapists Tim and Ruth Olson delve into the intricacies of Gottman’s Seven Principles. In this episode, they focus on the principle of letting your partner influence you. Tim and Ruth explore the transformative power of openness, respect, and collaboration in relationships.

This conversation is all about the importance of being receptive to your partner's ideas and feelings, and how setting aside control and ego can foster mutual respect and intimacy. Drawing from their expertise, they discuss practical strategies for overcoming obstacles in marriages and how embracing each other’s perspectives can lead to personal and relational growth.

The episode highlights key signs of resistance to partner influence, including an "I know best" attitude, stonewalling, dismissiveness, and rigid control. Tim and Ruth share personal anecdotes to illustrate how avoiding these pitfalls and embracing your partner’s influence can reduce power struggles, lower tension, and build resilience in relationships.

As the discussion unfolds, listeners will gain insights into how collaborative efforts in areas like parenting can lead to more effective solutions and foster an environment where both partners feel valued and respected.

Tune in to learn how to navigate these dynamics with humility and grace, as Tim and Ruth prepare to further explore practical ways to implement these strategies in upcoming episodes.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

We want to work with YOU!

15 Minute Free Consultation

Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Join licensed marriage and family therapists, Tim and Ruth Olson, as they guide you through the nuances of building healthier relationships in this insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Building on last week's discussion, the Olsons continue to explore the concept of 'bids for connection' and the importance of turning toward your partner.

Dive deep into the barriers that often prevent partners from connecting, such as technological distractions, chronic stress, and unresolved emotional wounds. The Olsons not only highlight these common obstacles but also provide practical strategies to overcome them. By setting phone-free zones, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in meaningful conversations, listeners will learn effective techniques to embrace connection opportunities.

This episode also features actionable advice for nurturing your bond through active listening, validation, and small acts of kindness. Engage with your partner through shared rituals and regular check-ins, transforming everyday interactions into chances for deeper connection. Whether you're seeking to improve your relationship or simply understand it better, this episode equips you with the tools to turn adversity into triumph and foster lasting love.

Tune in to gain valuable insights from the Olsons and embrace the journey toward healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

We want to work with YOU!

15 Minute Free Consultation

Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Hey there, and welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy! In this episode, we're diving deep into the tiny moments that make a massive impact on relationships—those everyday bids for connection. How we engage with the little things, like a shared laugh or a simple favor, can either weave us closer or pull us apart. Let's chat about how turning toward our loved ones transforms our connections into something truly resilient and beautiful. So grab a comfy seat, maybe a cup of coffee, and let's explore the art of building bonds that last. See you in there!

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

In this episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, Tim and Ruth Olson dive deep into the challenges of fostering fondness and admiration in relationships despite obstacles like resentment, stress, and complacency. Drawing insights from Gottman's 7 Principles for Healthy Relationships, they explore how unresolved conflicts can build barriers to appreciation between partners.

The Olsons share practical strategies to help couples address these issues, emphasizing the importance of consistent positive actions even when emotions don't align. Through engaging discussions, they highlight how minor conflicts can escalate if not addressed, ultimately leading to deeper resentment.

Listeners are invited to implement small daily practices to combat these challenges, such as expressing gratitude and rediscovering their partner's admirable qualities. With the episode's guidance, couples can transform their relationships, reconnect on deeper levels, and nurture a renewed sense of admiration and fondness.

We want to work with YOU!

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Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, the podcast where hosts Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts, guide you in transforming life's challenges into opportunities for personal growth and healthier relationships. In this insightful episode, Tim and Ruth explore Gottman's second principle: nurturing fondness and admiration, a key to cherishing your partner and celebrating their good qualities.

Discover how couples can deepen their connection and resilience through consistent fondness and admiration, offering a cushion during conflicts and stress. Whether navigating trauma or difficult transitions, these practices help maintain a positive outlook towards your partner's attributes and intentions.

The episode covers practical strategies like daily appreciation moments, creating a fondness and admiration jar, mindful compliments, memory lane conversations, and check-ins. These tactics are designed to reinforce positive interactions, making you and your partner lean into a loving and supportive relationship.

The conversation sets the stage for a deeper dive in the next episode, focusing on overcoming obstacles to fondness and admiration. Tune in and start practicing the art of seeing your partner through a positive lens, making a profound impact on your relationship.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}