A important message for the piglets who value continuity and transparency. This one is for all of The Woke Little Piglets out there, which coincidentally was also the name of my old workplace Muppets cover band.

That's a lie, I actually used to have a Muppets covers band - we were called the Most Sensational Inspirational Cover Band - and we never played any gigs. We were sick though. There's still time.

*looks down at old hands, noticing new wrinkles and the mottled, under-skin stains of a long life lived. Contemplates own mortality quietly, while young birds chirp outside in a song of ignorance and abandon.*

A thirst-quencher for a modern age; Unapologetic, Unhinged, and Unpasteurised. To be consumed covertly in broad daylight.

A holy vintage - consecrated and desecrated twice each before breakfast. Get your thuribles out, and make sure their bases are flared.

A drink made of winegrapes with a scoville rating. This is the sort of energy your great uncle - the one that the rest of the family doesn't speak to - would be bringing to the universe, if he had started a podcast.

Let old acquaintance be forgot, and never come to mind. Let old acquaintance be forgot and be a good little parasite for mummy.

A Rare and Seasonal Message from your Loving, Corporate Emperors!

Tinsel up your extremities and Irish up your nogs, its time for you to take it down the chimney - Christmas Style!*

*This episode contains a very small amount of Christmas references, or references to related holidays. Rejoice!

Special Guest - Mako Plainsong

NOTE: If you heard the original edit of this episode (entitled 'The Winter Gimp') send proof to mumsfriendenergypodcast@gmail.com to receive a free Mum's Friend Energy T-Shirt and professional counselling

An upsetting and fine dining experience.