POLARITY GLITCHES : 01 ARE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR MAN? OR, ARE YOU ‘LETTING HIM LEAD’?

Many couples who have switched from an egalitarian model of relating towards a more polarized form of relating are still feeling quite exhausted. The sweet rewards of ease and greater functionality that polarity relating has promised them still seem elusive in their dynamic. The women are still feeing over-stretch and tired. The men are not quite feeling like they have arrived in their element in leading in their relationship.

When I’m coaching couples and listening to their conflicts and complaints, I am often able to spot a handful of glitches in their dynamic. It’s almost as if their habits and ways of doing things need to be ‘debugged’ like in a computer program. I thought I’d make a series of videos addressing these glitches.

This video deals with one of the most common shadow pieces I see — where the woman thinks or acts like she is really in favor of her man leading, but in fact she is stuck in the shadow energy of ‘letting him lead’, or ‘allowing him to lead’.

There is a world of difference between trusting and following your man and this underhanded energy of ‘letting him lead’.

There are many beliefs and energies that can live behind this phenomenon of ‘letting your man lead’ instead of whole-heartedly wanting his leadership. Here are 2 of them:

1. You simply don’t know how to turn off your controlling mechanism. Behind this drive to control is a deep distrust — perhaps of everyone, but more likely a distrust towards men and the masculine.
2. You feel following your man makes you inferior to him. So you are holding your surrender in reserve, because you don’t want to render yourself weaker and inferior to him according to your beliefs. Constantly checking your man, on the other hand, implies you are more competent than him and thus superior to him.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org