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Resentment can be a heavy burden, keeping us stuck in pain, blame, and frustration. In this episode, we dive into the power of a resentment inventory—what it is, why it matters, and how it can help you break free from old wounds. Whether you're navigating relationships with loved ones struggling with addiction or just looking to let go of lingering anger, this step-by-step approach can bring clarity, healing, and peace. Tune in to learn how taking an honest look at your resentments can create space for growth, forgiveness, and personal freedom.
**Resentment Inventory Worksheet**
**Step 1: Identify Your Resentments**
List the people, institutions, or situations you resent and why.
**Who or What I Resent** | **Why I Feel Resentful** | **How It Affects Me**
Example: My spouse | They continue to drink despite my efforts to help. | Self-esteem, emotional security, fear of the future. |
**Reflection Questions:**
- When did this resentment begin?
- How has it grown over time?
- How does holding onto this resentment make me feel?
**Step 2: How This Resentment Impacts Me**
For each resentment, consider the ways it affects different areas of your life.
| **Area of My Life** | **How This Resentment Affects It**
| My self-esteem | (e.g., "I feel unworthy or not good enough.") |
| My relationships | (e.g., "I shut down emotionally or become controlling.") |
| My peace of mind | (e.g., "I replay conversations in my head and feel anxious.") |
| My physical health | (e.g., "I feel tense, have headaches, or trouble sleeping.") |
**Reflection Questions:**
- What emotions come up when I think about this resentment? (Anger, sadness, frustration, fear, etc.)
- Is this resentment affecting people in my life who weren’t involved? (e.g., Am I lashing out at others?)
## **Step 3: My Role in the Resentment**
This is about self-awareness, not self-blame. Identify any ways in which you contributed to the situation or how you continue to hold onto the resentment.
| **What Was My Part in This?** | **Unrealistic Expectations?** | **Attempts to Control?** |
| Example: I kept trying to make them change instead of focusing on my boundaries. | Yes, I expected them to stop drinking just because I wanted them to. | Yes, I tried to manipulate or guilt them into stopping. |**Step 4: Letting Go of Resentment**
This step is about releasing the emotional burden and shifting your focus to healing.
| **What I Can Accept** | **How I Can Practice Forgiveness** | **Steps to Let Go**
| Example: I accept that I cannot change others, only myself. | I can pray for them (even if I don’t feel like it) or write a letter I won’t send. | I will focus on my own growth and healing instead of their choices.
**Reflection Questions:**
- What would my life look like if I let go of this resentment?
- Can I see this person as sick, struggling, or acting from their own pain?
- What healthy action can I take instead of holding onto resentment?
## **Final Reflection:**
- How do I feel after working through this resentment inventory?
- What is one small action I can take today to move forward?
- How can I be kind to myself as I continue healing?
