If you want to approach people, start conversations, ask for a number, or invite them on a date, one of the most useful Skills you will need is resilience. In this interview, Dr. Daniel Kaufmann shares why many of us give up before even trying, and how video games can get us closer to achieving our goals in any aspect of our lives.

Part of the Hero's Journey idea is that we as spectators can identify with the hero of a story and gain Skills and motivation to improve our lives. Video games take this concept to another level: we are the ones winning. Without us, the avatar would sit still and go nowhere.

This also implies that both you and your avatar will gain experience and get better as time goes by. Carol Dweck calls this the Growth Mindset. For some of us, this is an in-game lesson that we can take outside the virtual world. But for others, it's not enough to compensate for decades of the Fixed Mindset discourse. Real life just doesn't have the same opportunities and motivations as video games.

But this is only one of the many lessons you can learn from video games. So what will you do? Will you stay in your comfort zone or will you start working toward your dating goals?

Listen now and embark on your Gamer's Journey today!

Guest Bio

Dr. Daniel Kaufmann is a YouTube Partner as Dr. Gameology, where he teaches about the many positive elements of video games that help us overcome professional and personal journeys in real life.

He is an Associate Professor who’s helped develop programs for gaming and geek therapy training in clinical settings, and his publications cover video games, personality theory, online education, and counselor development.

Dr. Kaufmann recently published the book The Gamer’s Journey, to help you turn the themes found in many video games into life lessons that can unlock your own potential.

Socials: @DrGameology

• https://www.youtube.com/@DrGameology
• https://www.instagram.com/drgameology/
• https://www.facebook.com/DrGameology
• https://www.twitch.tv/drgameology

Other Links

• https://drgameology.com/
• https://discord.com/invite/3bY5u5EBcn

Podcast: https://drgameology.com/podcast/

The Gamer's Journey: https://www.amazon.com/Gamers-Journey-Daniel-Kaufmann-PhD-ebook/dp/B0D7NY5Z1R

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

00:00:00 Intro

00:00:19 Bio

00:01:10 How The Gamer's Journey Can Improve Your Life

00:11:35 The Fixed and Growth Mindsets

00:20:35 Fear of Rejection

00:27:56 Conversation Skills

00:36:13 What Gives You Motivation

00:37:43 Contact Info

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

What does a natural physical escalation look like? ✋ Physical touch varies from person to person, even within a shared culture. Some people see certain things as friendly that for others are way too intimate, or are only comfortable going slower or faster.

🥋 Julian met Jose's brother learning Tae Kwon-Do. They started hanging out, and later invited Jose to join them. She didn't think much of it until almost a year later, when they started spending a lot of time together. So much time, in fact, that her friends kept asking if something was going on. She even went on a trip and he was the first person she was texting every day! That's when she realized that... she might like him 🤔

😱 After the realization set in, the fears showed up: what if it didn't work and she lost both a partner and the friendship? Fortunately, she was quite sure he liked her back. They were both comfortable with physical touch with each other, which is not always the case.

🎧 If you've been wondering how fast is too fast, or if there's a right or wrong way to break the physical barrier with someone, give this episode a listen!

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

💬 Practice your Conversation Skills with FREE online improv games every month... Live!

https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

00:00:00 Intro

00:00:56 Her Brother's Friend

00:04:02 Hanging Out 1-on-1

00:07:40 Fears Around Liking Your Friend

00:15:23 Leaving the Friend Zone

00:19:58 Breaking the Touch Barrier

00:25:41 Differences in Styles of Physical Touch

00:33:49 Checking if They're Comfortable

00:37:07 Testing for Interest

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

Do you need to go fast to "avoid the friend zone"? But what if you're shy? And what if they're socially anxious? Fast or slow depends on how comfortable both of you feel. Steven and Christin were close friends for several years before anything happened.

Sometimes the transition from friends to something more is quick and abrupt. Other times, it can take months or years of smooth and gradual change. 🧘‍♂️

🏘️ Even though they grew up in a small German village of 600 people, Steven only remembers becoming aware of Christin around his teenage years. But it wasn't until many years later, when he left to study and came back to visit, that their deep friendship turned into a romantic relationship.

🎧 Listen to this story if you feel rushed by the common dating advice that gives you a specific number of dates before you end up in the "friend zone"!

To work with Steven and Christin, visit https://www.limitlessleap.com/

💬 To practice your Conversation Skills with me by playing FREE online improv games every month... LIVE, go to https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

00:00:00 Intro

00:00:26 Steven's Hobbies

00:01:32 Growing Up In a Small Village

00:03:01 Are Your Hobbies A Turn-Off?

00:05:20 Becoming Close Friends

00:06:22 Changing Cities

00:07:45 From Friends to Lovers

00:11:52 Taking Your Time

00:14:29 Shy, Introverts, and Social Anxiety

00:16:38 Do Dating Tactics and Strategies Work?

00:19:10 How Long Does It Take?

00:22:31 Leveling Up Your True Self

00:28:42 Be Confident and Know What You Want

00:30:48 Steven's Contact

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

Is it a date or two friends hanging out? Do you need to clarify? Is it wrong to confess by text? What about asking to hold hands? These are some of the questions we explore in the story of Lud and Mati.

🧝‍♂️ After meeting as part of a nerd group within their local Tolkien Association, Mati decided to take Lud on a date. But... she didn't know that it was a date! They spent months as friends, with him trying to know if she was interested, and her assuming that they were just friends.

🎲 With multiple critical fails in the middle, it took a common friend to bridge the gap between them.

🎧 Listen to this story and realize that, sometimes, even with many Natural 1s, you can still beat the game. 👾

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

💬 Practice your Conversations Skills with FREE online improv games every month... Live!

https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

00:00:00 Game Start

00:01:43 Finding Nerd Friends

00:04:17 First Meet at a Tolkien Bar

00:06:42 Friends or date? Unclear!

00:08:47 Building Relationships

00:10:28 Critical Fail on a Physical Touch Check

00:11:53 Not a "Proper Date"

00:13:55 Second not-Date

00:15:57 Indirect Confession

00:18:54 Failed Confession via Text

00:22:01 Do you like your friend?

00:25:19 Asking to Hold Hands

00:26:43 Confessing vs. Escalating

00:31:38 Advice for Single Nerds

00:33:54 The Power of Friendship

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

Many have been rejected and friendzoned, but it's not often that we would do it to someone who did it to us. And yet, this is what happened to Vir.

In her story, they both rolled a Nat 1 on their perception and charisma checks: Their attraction didn't align, and they couldn't read the signs. So they had to be explicit and confess liking each other... Three times!

If you've wondered why someone doesn't realize that you like them, you think you're bad at "taking hints," or you think that the friendzone lasts forever (and that a rejection will bring your HP to 0), you should listen to this story!

Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Practice your Conversations Skills with FREE online improv games every month... Live! https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

00:00:00 Intro

00:02:17 Meeting at work

00:04:47 Asking to hang out

00:07:20 Missing the Signals

00:11:36 Confessing

00:14:18 Getting Rejected and Friendzoned

00:20:14 Another Confession, Rejection, and Friend Zone

00:24:09 Confessing Verbally vs. Escalating Physically

00:27:57 Third Confession

00:31:52 Advice: Don't Expect Signals, and be Clear

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

How do nerds find love? Where do they meet people to date? Does it have to be at a bar or club? How do they avoid the friend zone? Do they go for the kiss or confess verbally? How do they deal with the fear of rejection? Do they approach people on the street? Or do they attract their perfect matches?

Level Up your Dating Skill with this podcast for introverted, shy, single geeks looking for a Player 2. I'm Alex Goldstein and I help shy nerds gain the Skills to find love.

If you want to learn more, go to https://www.rolltodate.com/

💬 Practice Conversations Skills with FREE, monthly online improv games!

https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

📱You can also join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media