OMG, I love this woman!

The last time Susan Bratton was on the show, we dived into all things related to sex and intimacy, including non-monogamy. Since then, she has appeared on ‘Diary of a CEO’ with Steven Bartlett, so she’s gone even more into the stratosphere than she was before, and I feel blessed to have her here talking to me. Steven calls her the ‘Orgasm Queen’ but, for me, Susan’s knowledge about sex and intimacy go way beyond the orgasm.

For this episode, we decided to focus specifically on pumping, of which Susan knows her stuff, as you’ll find out!

Until about a year ago, I had no clue what pumping was. I vaguely remember seeing ads in the back of comic books as a kid, claiming that men could increase the size of their penis with a large cylinder-like apparatus.

After chatting with several urologists on the show, who mentioned pumps to help men regain erections post-prostate surgery and clitoral pumps for older women seeking increased blood flow to their genitals, my partner and I decided to buy pumps and give them a try. I have to admit that, while I don’t use it often, my partner really enjoys it and has definitely noticed an increase in girth and the ability to maintain his erection. Plus, it’s pretty kinky to watch a partner pump and vice versa, a sentiment Susan and I both agree on!

On a more serious note, studies are now being undertaken to determine the effectiveness of pumping for men with erectile dysfunction and nerve damage through surgical procedures. Anecdotal evidence suggests that pumping can help restore blood flow to the penis (and the clitoris) meaning greater sensitivity and more pleasureable sex.

In short, if you’re an older guy, than you should be pumping 3 - 4 times per week and there’s nothing shameful or dangerous about pumping when used correctly.

And, here, for the first time is our video conversation!!

Here are some of the products we featured:

FirmTech MaxPR cock ring. Use my Code NOBLEDISC20 for 20% off. Buy here.

GRO N SHOW Men's Pump Package

LadyPump

Stimulate Red Light Pump Accessory

AndroDEEP Penile Extender for Length:

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Penis Pumps

02:58 Understanding the Mechanics of Pumping

06:05 The Kinky Side of Pumping

09:08 The Benefits of Clitoral Pumping

12:02 Pumping as Self-Care

15:04 The Science Behind Pumping

18:00 Choosing the Right Pump

21:00 Normalizing Pumping for Men

24:02 Conclusion and Future Perspectives

28:00 Understanding Erectile Dysfunction and Treatment Options

30:45 The Role of Red Light Therapy and Traction Devices

34:49 The Importance of Nitric Oxide for Sexual Health

40:54 Tools and Techniques for Enhancing Sexual Health

Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported podcast, weekly newsletter with random notes, erotic stories and observations about sex, dating and relationships in later life.

Paid subscribers benefit from accessing all the paywalled content (podcasts and posts over two weeks old), naughtier-than-usual posts, joining me on Chat, supporting all my voluntary work with academics, doctors and health professionals in shaping how we talk about sex and intimacy issues with older adults. It’s only £4.99/month or £49.99/year.

Laurie Stone is author of six books, most recently "Streaming Now, Postcards from the Thing that is Happening," longlisted for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award. She writes the Substack "Everything is Personal.”

When I read Laurie’s Stone Substack article about her decision to marry her long-term partner Richard at 78, following a brief two-week engagement, I knew I had to contact her. It was subsequently covered in the ‘Vows’ section in the New York Times.

Laurie and I have many mutual friends, mostly other writers and creative types, which led me to suspect her choice to marry was likely more thoughtful and less conventional than the typical “we’ve been together so long, we might as well.”

Just three weeks earlier, at a friend’s Christmas party, I had encountered another writer in her fifties, someone I had met a few times, who had recently announced her engagement to her partner of five years. (I’m sensing a micro-trend here). She expressed surprise at the mixed reactions from friends, ranging from “Well, I guess someone has to” to “Congratulations, how wonderful.”

I might have asked her if her decision was based purely on romance, to which she appeared taken aback and said “Yes, of course.” I explained that after my most recent partner passed away, I became acutely aware of my lack of agency, particularly in not being able to communicate directly with his doctors or stay informed about his declining health. It had left me feeling frustrated and angry.

This experience highlighted for me the emotional difficulties of being partnered but not married in the traditional sense, helping me understand some of the complexities involved and why deciding to marry when you’re no longer in your 20s or 30s, is not always a romantic one.

I have to admit I’m cynical about romance, having not had the best track record when it comes to long-term relationships and my own decade-long marriage was not filled with joy, and so I am curious as to why anyone would consciously choose to ‘tie-the-knot’ when my age. But I’m also a great believer in the old cliche, ‘To each, to his own,’ and have several friends who have been happily married for decades, so clearly it does work for some people, only not for me!

In any case, I’m not going to spoil some of the many interesting observations about love and marriage that Laurie shared with me during this discussion but only to say I hope you will enjoy our conversation as much as I did.

Laurie is hosting her next workshop on taking risks in your writing to which you are invited to attend if you become one of her paid subscribers. It’s taking place on 25th January 3 - 4 pm EST. The cost for a year is $37.50 and $3.75 a month making it one of the least expensive Substacks on the platform. “It’s uniquely literary, funny, sexy, and feminist.”

To RSVP, please write to: lauriestone@substack.com (once you become a paid subscriber)

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

10:41 The Wedding Experience: A Unique Perspective

16:04 Reflections on Marriage and Practical Considerations

22:33 Writing and Personal Experiences: The Creative Process

30:52 Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported podcast, weekly newsletter with random notes and observations about sex, dating and relationships in later life.

Paid subscribers benefit from accessing all the paywalled content (podcasts and posts over two weeks old), joining me on Chat, supporting all my voluntary work with academics, doctors and health professionals in shaping how we talk about sex and intimacy issues with older adults. It’s only £4.99/month or £49.99/year.

Delving Into the Sexual Revolution

In this lively chat, I had the pleasure of interviewing Sam Feldman, the very engaging and funny author of 'Hookups, Hiccups and Happenstances.' We delved into the juicy bits of the sexual revolution, shared a few personal tales about intimacy, and had a good old chinwag about why communication is absolutely vital for keeping long-term relationships ticking along.

Sam shared some cracking insights from his own life, including how health can sometimes be a bit of a party pooper when it comes to sexuality, and the sheer joy of date nights. He cheekily reminded us that age is just a number—definitely not a barrier to having a right good time in the bedroom or beyond!

Takeaways:

* The sexual revolution brought significant changes in women's empowerment (both good & bad)!

* Personal experiences shape the narratives in erotic literature.

* Health challenges can impact sexual intimacy but can be adapted to.

* Ethical non-monogamy was practiced before the term existed.

* Date nights can enhance connection and intimacy in relationships - no matter what your age!

Chapters

00:00 The Sexual Revolution: A Historical Perspective

06:03 Personal Experiences and Ethical Non-Monogamy

12:08 Maintaining Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships

17:50 Adapting to Change: Health and Sexuality

24:05 The Importance of Communication and Connection

Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To pledge your support, help keep this going and for me to spend more time promoting the joys of sex and intimacy for older adults, consider becoming a paid subscriber. A little goes a long way.

Hookups, Hiccups, and Happenstances is a collection of erotic short stories that capture the spirit of the era when attitudes toward sex were being redefined. Set in the wild, libertine world of the 60s and 70s, Sam’s stories follow the character of Butch, a man admired by both men and women for his unapologetic embrace of sexual freedom. The book explores encounters that celebrate human desire, autonomy, and mutual pleasure, offering a refreshing and boundary-pushing perspective on relationships.

You can buy it here.

Find Sam on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sam.l.feldman