Strong and clear boundaries will be one of your best defenses against people-pleasing and the people who would have you do so. However, they can’t exist solely in your head, and they can’t be so flexible that people see no reason to abide by them. Thus, you must define them based on your values, and then communicate them clearly and enforce them without exception.

The other major aspect is setting consequences and then enforcing them. This is what happens when someone attempts to violate your boundaries after you’ve communicated them. This is can be whatever you want; the only thing it cannot be is nothing. Failure to do so will create porous boundaries, which are as good as no boundaries at all. However, they also cannot be too rigid.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Assertiveness #ChangeYourself—AndOnlyYourself #TheArtofEverydayAssertiveness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

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Suppose that you’re an American who has never really cared much for soccer, but you’re going to be moving to a country in Europe or South America where soccer is a big deal. You might still find the sport itself boring, but learning about it and developing an interest can give you an easy conversation starter with a massive percentage of the population in your new home. You’ll find it much easier to make friends in any situation if you can talk to people about the things they’re passionate about. The goal is to find common ground, even when that takes some effort.

Once the initial similarity is established, you simply stand a far better chance of overall social acceptance, and sometimes that is all we can hope for.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Descioli #Kurzban #PeterDeScioli #RobertKurzban #SocialIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching

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Keep the words flowing by buying me a coffee.

The other major aspect is setting consequences and then enforcing them. This is what happens when someone attempts to violate your boundaries after you’ve communicated them. This is can be whatever you want; the only thing it cannot be is nothing. Failure to do so will create porous boundaries, which are as good as no boundaries at all. However, they also cannot be too rigid.

Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Assertiveness #PorousBoundaries #Don’tLetBoundaryCrossersOffTheHook #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #EverydayAssertiveness

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We can adopt a growth mindset and engage our conscious will to choose the self and the life we want, rather than passively accept the status quo. We tell ourselves that with the right amount of effort and the correct approach, we can be the person we want to be. If we aren’t good at something, enough practice will help us improve and eventually master that activity.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#TheGrowthMindset #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

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The story spine is more or less the formula for every movie that exists. It’s a simple framework that you can use in your everyday stories and conversations, because it teaches you what emotional beats exist in a story. There is the status quo, the event that kicks things off, the set of consequences for changing the status quo, the climax or resolution, and then what happens after the fact.

The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#JakeSully #KevinAdams #Sully #SynergyTheater #WittyBanter #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheStorySpine #RussellNewton #NewtonMG

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Stories can also be the basis for an inside joke. When you think about it, an inside joke is something that comes up multiple times with the same person and evokes a positive emotion. It’s the same topic brought up in a different context. Thus, you just need to call back to a story through a conversation and there’s a good chance it will stick as a “Remember when we talked about…” moment. The more you use it, the more a unique bond is created between only the two of you.

Improving your storytelling ability is important, but what about eliciting stories from others? You can phrase your questions carefully to ask for stories rather than answers from people, which is a simple way to make conversation easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved. There are ways to make people open up to you and want to keep gabbing. Remember the lesson we learned with the 1:1:1 method in pinpointing the emotions that people are trying to evoke. To amplify this, you can pin the tail on the donkey and strategically add on to people’s stories.

The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Callback #Conversation #WittyBanter #ImproveYourStorytellingWithInsideJokesAndGoodQuestions #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching

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It is obvious that we will make mistakes in our attempts to build healthy boundaries. However, knowing some of the common ones might help you avoid them. These include being too aggressive, not being mindful of your timing, being overly concerned with the emotions of others at the expense of your own, and being too dramatic by having long, drawn-out conversations. Remember that all you need to do is communicate a boundary using “I” statements.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#5MisstepsToAvoidWhenSettingBoundaries #EstablishingBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

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Cultivating empathy in ourselves is something all of us should endeavor to do. There are three main steps to do this. First, we must be open-minded. Second, we must learn to walk in other people’s shoes. Third, we must communicate our acceptance of their experience in an appropriate manner.

Being open-minded is a commonly exalted virtue that many of us can struggle with. We tend to have difficulties understanding the ways different people perceive the world and express emotions when these conflict with our own views. The best way to remedy this is to simply talk to people from different backgrounds and viewpoints. Expose yourself to different discourses and ways of understanding things. Travel far and wide if you can, and familiarize yourself with cultures where things are done differently from your own.

Walking in someone else’s shoes requires that we pay as close attention to them as possible so that we can understand where they’re coming from and what influences are at play. We must suspend our own views and see the way from the other’s lens. A great way to inculcate this skill is to simply read fiction. This puts you into the mind of a character that is not you, and you get to observe how they describe events, emotions, thoughts, etc.

Lastly, our understanding is only worth something when we can communicate it well. Be careful in the verbal and non-verbal cues you send out. Respect boundaries when they’re asserted and try to remember the things that are shared with you.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Empathy #humility #CultivatingEmpathyInOurselves #ListenHearValidate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

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