• ADHD grief isn’t linear — and that’s totally normal
    Jul 1 2025

    Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways.

    Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain.

    Related resources

    • From the ADHD Aha! podcast, Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley’s story)
    • Grief-Fueled ADHD: Strategies to Manage A Complex Combination by Rachel Hopkins
    • The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
    • The Grand Hotel of Feelings by Lidia Brankovíc

    Timestamps

    (00:48) A word from Cate on ADHD and grief

    (03:05) Nonlinear ADHD grief

    (06:11) Executive function challenges and grief

    (09:34) Emotional regulation and planning immediately following a loss

    (11:03) Time perception challenges and processing grief

    (15:34) Rejection sensitivity and worrying about others’ judgement of our grieving

    (20:19) Balancing distraction and avoidance

    (26:24) The importance of acknowledging that your ADHD will affect your grief, and celebrating your wins

    (27:29) ADHD and delayed grief reactions

    (29:30) Advice for neurotypical people supporting an ADHDer through grief

    (30:44) Rachel’s last thoughts and advice for any ADHDer going through grief right now

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

    We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    35 min
  • How hormones hijack focus, mood, and energy
    Jun 17 2025

    ADHD in women is often misunderstood, even by ourselves — and hormones are a big part of the story.

    This week, host Cate Osborn chats with psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Lotta Borg Skoglund about how hormone cycles affect ADHD in women. From PMS to perimenopause, we explore how shifting hormones can change how ADHD shows up — and how that impacts mood, focus, and relationships.

    Dr. Borg Skoglund shares what the research says, what often gets overlooked in diagnosis and treatment, and how understanding the patterns in your cycle can make everyday life a little easier.

    Related resources

    • ADHD Girls to Women by Dr. Lotta Borg Skoglund
    • Lotta’s research group, GODDESS ADHD
    • A guide to hormones and ADHD
    • From the Climbing the Walls podcast: Are hormones the final frontier for women with ADHD?

    Timestamps

    (01:42) The changes in hormones during the menstrual cycle, and how they can affect ADHD symptoms

    (04:57) ADHD symptoms across hormonal life milestones like puberty, pregnancy, and menopause

    (10:21) The formation of Lotta’s research group GODDESS ADHD

    (14:25) The importance of this overdue research, and the constant dismissal of women’s hormonal challenges

    (17:12) Mapping your cycle to help understand your ADHD symptom fluctuations

    (21:10) How do we track these things if our cycles are non-traditional?

    (24:06) How do hormones connect to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

    We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    28 min
  • Too much or not enough: ADHD sensory challenges and sex
    Jun 3 2025

    If sex sometimes feels confusing, overstimulating, or just... a lot, you’re not alone. ADHD and sensory issues can show up during sex and in our physical relationships.

    This week, psychologist Dr. Lyne Piché joins us to discuss how ADHD and sensory challenges can shape our sex lives, and how to talk about it. From touch sensitivity to struggling to focus, we dive into why things might feel like “too much” one minute and “not enough” the next—and how to figure it all out.

    Related resources

    • Dr. Piché’s website, www.ADHDsex.com
    • Dr. Piché’s ADHD and Sex workbook
    • An earlier Sorry, I Missed This episode: ADHD, sensory systems, and communication

    Timestamps

    (2:07) What is a sensory issue?

    (05:16) How do we build awareness and language about our sensory issues in the bedroom?

    (09:45) How do we tell the difference between sensory overload and just not being in the mood for sex?

    (12:15) The importance of trust in your partner, and not “enduring” something just for someone else

    (15:22) How kink can help with sensory issues in sex

    (16:42) Letting go of the shame over not liking the things that you’re “supposed” to like

    (19:07) How can we talk to our partners about our sensory needs if we’re scared of hurting their feelings or disappointing them?

    (22:47) Building “yes” spaces and talking to our partners about our sexy sensory dos and don’ts—without feeling unsexy

    (27:44) Trying things out more than once to determine whether it’s a sensory issue or a preference

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

    We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    31 min
  • ADHD and caregiving: Helping others when you’re struggling
    May 20 2025

    Being a caregiver to a friend or loved one is hard—add ADHD to the mix, and it’s a whole different challenge.

    Self-care and ADHD Coach Stephanie Antoine joins us to talk about what it’s like caring for our loved ones while managing executive dysfunction, burnout, and more. She also offers a few mindfulness practices to help us recenter when the stress feels like too much. If you’ve ever struggled to care for someone else while trying to keep yourself afloat, this one’s for you.

    Related resources

    • Stephanie’s website, stephanieantoine.com
    • Download: Feeling stressed? Try the 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness technique
    • From the ADHD Aha! podcast, Jessica McCabe on motherhood, social anxiety, and ADHD medication

    Timestamps

    (02:59) Why did Stephanie start helping others in caregiving roles?

    (04:52) Executive function and caregiving, and beating yourself up

    (07:51) How do we manage big feelings like frustration and resentment while caregiving?

    (12:33) Perfectionism and caregiving

    (17:14) The one thing Stephanie wants you to hear today

    (19:09) A short guided meditation exercise from Stephanie

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

    We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    23 min
  • Kink, BDSM, and ADHD
    May 6 2025

    Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

    ADHD and kink might seem like an unexpected pairing, but for a lot of people, they go hand in hand. From rituals that help with focus to play that taps into the need for stimulation, BDSM can be more than just fun — it can be a real tool for regulation and connection.

    In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with author and forensic sexologist Stefani Goerlich about how BDSM can actually support ADHD brains by offering structure, sensory input, and clear communication.

    Related resources

    • Stefani’s website, stefanigeorlich.com
    • Stefani’s books

    Timestamps

    (02:46) The broad umbrella of ‘kink’

    (04:16) Focusing on BDSM in particular, and breaking down the acronym

    (08:38) Kink is always relational, only sometimes sexual

    (09:48) Why might someone gravitate towards kink/BDSM?

    (12:30) Common kink myths

    (15:44) Power exchange, and consent as foreplay

    (16:32) The benefits of BDSM/kink

    (18:24) How kink can help with claiming agency

    (21:10) How negotiated arrangements can take some of the strain off executive function challenges

    (23:39) What to do when one partner is kinky, and one is not so much

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

    We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    29 min
  • Online dating with ADHD
    Apr 22 2025

    Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

    In theory, online dating can feel like an easy, low-stakes solution to meeting people. But in practice, there are a few pitfalls that many fall into. With ADHD, dating apps can pose even more challenges and be an additional drag on your attention.

    Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard visits the show to talk about what she’s noticed while working with ADHDers on online dating. Join this conversation on the dopamine chase that can happen while using dating apps, and setting boundaries with yourself.

    Related resources

    • Dr. Pollard’s website
    • A dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting
    • ADHD and emotions

    Timestamps

    (01:58) ADHD and online dating challenges

    (09:17) Hyperfocusing on dating, and how to slow down

    (11:41) “Marketing yourself” on online dating, and how to show the whole picture of who you are

    (14:01) Figure out your “filter” for online matches, and include offline dating in addition to online

    (17:03) Snap judgements, biases, and discrimination

    (19:02) Feeling overwhelmed? Do what feels best for you

    (20:02) ADHD disclosure on dating profiles

    (22:42) Best practices for ADHDers to build meaningful relationships

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org.

    We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    28 min
  • Reddit reactions: ADHD, cheating, and weaponized incompetence
    Apr 8 2025

    Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

    Are ADHD and cheating related? What about weaponized incompetence and ADHD? These are a few questions that surround the ADHD community.

    Producer Margie visits the podcast for another round of ‘Reddit reactions’ with more posts from the ADHD women subreddit. Listen for host Cate Osborn’s reactions on a few different scenarios related to cheating and weaponized incompetence.

    Related resources

    • The National Domestic Violence Hotline
    • The ADHD Women subreddit
    • ADHD support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook group

    Timestamps

    (02:00) Post #1 “ADHD and cheating/Adrenaline and dopamine”

    (09:24) Post #2 “Narcissist cheater and ADHD”

    (15:30) Post #3 “Does anyone else sometimes identify with those ‘weaponized incompetence’ guys you hear about?”

    (21:22) Post #4 “I’m so tired of trying to compensate for myself AND my partner”

    (27:51) ADHD can be challenging, and you’re not alone

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

    We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    31 min
  • What makes a ‘good listener’ with ADHD?
    Mar 25 2025

    Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

    People with ADHD can often get a bad rap for being “bad listeners.” So, instead of actually listening, we’re often focusing on: Do they know I'm listening? Am I making enough eye contact? Do I look engaged?

    Host Cate Osborn chats with Understood.org Vice President of Expertise and licensed therapist Sarah Greenberg about the listening strengths and weaknesses that can come with ADHD. They also unpack different modes of listening like listening to understand, listening to solve, and listening to connect.

    Related resources

    • How attention works
    • From the ADHD Aha! podcast, “Why don’t you listen?” Paying attention vs. hearing (Peter’s story)

    Timestamps

    (00:41) Feeling self-conscious about our ability to listen with ADHD

    (05:56) Different modes of listening

    (07:40) Figuring out our listening strengths and weaknesses

    (14:32) Anecdotal communication

    (16:48) Asking what a person needs out of a conversation

    (21:47) What can we do?

    For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org

    We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

    Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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    27 min