36 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, ATTACHMENT & SELF-WORTH 🎙✨🖤

This episode is for you if you’ve ever loved deeply… and lost yourself in the process 🫂💔

👇 RESOURCES 👇

💎 Courses ✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts

➞ https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources Free Attachment Library ➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

If you’ve ever: ➞ overthought every text 📱⛈ ➞ confused anxiety with intuition 🔮🚩 ➞ stayed too long because of hope 🎢 ➞ abandoned your routines, friends, or goals for love ➞ felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time 🥶🔥

These 36 lessons are not theory. They’re lived. Felt. Learned the hard way 💎🧠✨

This episode is about anxious attachment, emotional safety, boundaries, self-esteem, self-worth, friendships, and secure love. Not in a perfect, polished way. But in a real, honest, nervous-system-level way 🫂🔒

You’ll hear why secure people don’t chase, they attract. Not because they’re lucky. But because they choose themselves first 🖤✨

You’ll learn how your body knows before your brain does. Why butterflies aren’t always a green flag. And how tight chests, knots in your stomach, and “chemistry” can actually be your past asking for attention 🚩🪞

We talk about boundaries. Why they don’t push the right people away. Why they filter out what no longer matches your energy. And why people-pleasing was never keeping you safe in the first place 🔒✨

You’ll hear the truth about “boring” love. Why healthy love can feel unfamiliar when chaos felt like home. And how peace becomes the most exciting thing once your nervous system learns it’s safe 🌤🧘🏼‍♀️

This episode breaks down why chemistry without safety is often trauma bonding. Why you don’t need one soulmate. Why slow, steady connections deserve time. And how peace doesn’t mean lack of passion long-term 💛🔥

We also talk about self-esteem. Not the fluffy kind. The real kind 💪🏽🖤

You’ll learn why self-esteem grows through actions, not affirmations alone. Why tiny brave acts change your attachment patterns. And how choosing yourself consistently changes who chooses you 💎

There’s also truth about growth. How you may lose people as you heal. Why that’s not a failure. And how outgrowing old dynamics is often a sign you’re finally coming back to yourself 🦋✨

You’ll hear why love should add to your life, not become your whole life. Why interdependence beats obsession. And how missing someone doesn’t automatically mean they belong in your future 🫂🚪

We talk about nervous system regulation. Why the same relationship feels different when YOU are regulated. Why you stop sending anxious paragraphs. Why you stop abandoning yourself first 🧠🔒

And finally, the truth that changes everything: Hope is not a strategy. Action is.

If something in your life isn’t working, waiting won’t fix it. Healing requires movement. Boundaries. New standards. New choices ✨💥

This episode is a mirror. Not to judge you. But to remind you who you are 🪞🖤

Listen if you’re ready to stop chasing love… and start choosing yourself.

Because your healing doesn’t start with someone else changing. It starts with YOU. Thought by thought. Action by action. And one honest decision at a time

🖤 About me I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨

💌 Work with me ➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy

WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

CHAPTERS:

Part 02:

00:00 intro 36 Lessons about love, attachment, self-esteem etc 00:36 lesson 19 05:04 lesson 25 10:01 lesson 30 13:05 lesson 35

14:52 lesson 35

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Why do affirmations sometimes make you MORE anxious instead of calm? 🌪 Why do they feel fake… forced… or even triggering? 🧨 And why do you end up overthinking MORE after saying them? 🧠💭

If you’ve ever thought: ➞ “Affirmations don’t work for me.” ➞ “I feel worse after saying them.” ➞ “They just make me more aware of my fears.”

You’re not broken 🫂 You’re not doing it wrong 🖤 Your brain is just doing EXACTLY what it’s designed to do 🔒🧠

In this episode, I explain why most affirmations don’t work for anxious attachment — and how they can actually strengthen your abandonment fears, texting anxiety, and relationship overthinking 🚩

You’ll learn: ✨ Why your brain hears fear words FIRST ✨ Why repeating affirmations without feeling them backfires ✨ Why big “I am secure” statements get rejected ✨ Why timing matters more than repetition ✨ Why your BODY must feel safe before your mind believes

And then I walk you through a simple 5-step action plan to make affirmations ACTUALLY work — in real life, in real relationships, during real triggers 💪🏽🖤

This is for you if: ➞ You overthink texts 📱 ➞ You panic when there’s space or silence 🌪 ➞ You feel needy, clingy, or “too much” 🩹 ➞ You want secure attachment but don’t know how to get there 🗝

No fluff. No toxic positivity. No lying to your nervous system.

Just attachment-safe tools that calm your body, rewire your brain, and help you feel steady inside yourself 🔒✨

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Affirmations and Attachment Anxiety 01:03 Why changing your limiting beliefs is important to becoming securely attached 02:28 01. The brain hears words literally 05:10 02. Repeating without feeling doesn’t work 10:28 03. You affirmations are NOT believable 13:46 04. You're not repeating it in the RIGHT moment 17:11 05. Aligning Actions with Affirmations 20:02 How to become secure with coaching 23:23 5 Steps how to make affirmations work for love, secure attachment and self-esteem 32:05 Bottom line

👇 RESOURCES 👇

💎 Courses ✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts

➞ https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources Free Attachment Library ➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

🖤 About me I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨

💌 Work with me ➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy

WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Your Trust Issues Will Make Him Break Your Trust in your anxious-avoidant relationship

Have you ever thought:

• “I trust my boyfriend when he’s done nothing wrong… so why am I still anxious?”

• “Why do I always worry my partner might leave me?”

• “Why do trust issues show up even in healthy relationships?”

This episode is for women with trust issues, relationship anxiety, and fear of abandonment who feel on edge even when nothing bad is happening.

If you’ve been the “chill” woman on the outside while secretly scanning for danger on the inside… re-reading texts, checking tone, bracing for pain...you’re not broken. Your brain is running a self-fulfilling prophecy. 🌀

We’ll break down:

• How trust issues form (even when men haven’t actually betrayed you)

• Why anxiety behaviors push secure men away and activate avoidant ones

• How over-checking, reassurance-seeking, and control loops reinforce the belief “men can’t be trusted”

• Why your nervous system is protecting you... and how that protection turns into self-sabotage

You’ll learn how to rebuild trust in yourself, regulate your nervous system, and shift out of hypervigilance.. so love stops feeling like a threat and starts feeling safe again.

⏰ Chapters

00:00 Why trust issues create self-fulfilling prophecies 02:14 Dating stage: trust issues in the talking phase 06:48 How anxiety behaviors push good men away 11:02 Relationship stage: overthinking, jealousy, reassurance loops 15:40 Why avoidant partners are drawn to anxious patterns 19:30 The psychology behind “I trust him but still feel unsafe” 23:10 The real shift: rebuilding trust in yourself 27:05 4 mini steps to rewire trust 31:40 What changes when trust heals

💎 Courses ✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts

➞ https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources Free Attachment Library ➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

🖤 About me I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨

💌 Work with me ➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy

WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Have you been wondering: “Why isn’t my partner saying ‘I love you’ more?”

Or maybe it’s more like:

• Why does my boyfriend not say “I love you” first?

• Why does my husband not say “I love you” back sometimes?

• Why does he just say “love you” or “me too” instead of the words I need? 🌪

7 Truths you’re MISSING about love, words, and attachment

Hey love… if your chest tightens when he says “love you” instead of “I love you,” or a simple “me too” makes your stomach drop 🌪, this episode is for you.

If you’re re-reading texts, scanning every emoji, and panicking: 🧨 “Is he pulling away?” 🧨 “Did the love change?” 🧨 “Is something wrong?”

…then this is EXACTLY for your anxious attachment brain

Here’s the truth: it’s probably NOT about him.

Not about your relationship.

And definitely not about you.

Most likely, your partner loves you deeply… but shows it in a different language than your nervous system was shaped to understand.

Yay. (thats the GOOD news.) 🕊💛

This episode is for women with relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, and those hypervigilant to verbal reassurance.

You’ll learn how to see his love, read his actions, and shift your nervous system so you stop chasing or doubting.

If you’re ready to feel safe, loved, and confident in your relationship, even when the words aren’t exactly what your brain expects, press play 🎧🩹🤍

00:00 Understanding Love Language and Attachment Styles 02:30 What if he doesn't love me anymore? 02:47 First… this fear is NOT about your partner 04:37 Second… words are NOT the only proof of love 08:58 Third… silence doesn’t mean distance 09:56 Fourth… your fear is a PART of you, not ALL of you 11:27 Fifth… ask yourself this instead 12:29 Sixth… here’s the honest, empowering truth 13:09 Seventh...You are NOT asking for too much (but you NEED words to feel safe)) 16:54 Last thing

✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,

NOT how they communicate with you)

➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Free Attachment Library

➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women stop chasing, stop overgiving, and attract secure love ✨

➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy

WhatsApp Coaching

➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

If you’re an anxiously attached woman who keeps overthinking texts, overgiving in dating, and chasing emotionally unavailable men, this episode is for you 🖤✨

This is what I wish I knew in my 20s about men and relationships — before I burned myself out trying to be chosen, trying to be “easy to love,” and trying to make men stay.

In this podcast episode, I share dating advice for anxious attachment, explain how men actually fall in love, and why chasing, proving, and people-pleasing push men away instead of creating connection. You’ll learn how to stop obsessing, stop abandoning yourself, set healthy boundaries, and attract secure, emotionally available men without playing games or pretending not to care.

This episode is especially for women struggling with relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, limerence, and anxious-avoidant dating dynamics — the women who keep asking: “Why do I care more than he does?” “Why do men pull away when I get attached?”

You’re not broken. This is about attachment wiring, not your worth 🔒🧠

✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,

NOT how they communicate with you)

➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Free Attachment Library

➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

00:00 Understanding Men's Love Dynamics 00:07 01. Understand how MEN fall in love (not what you think) 04:26 02. Let Him Be Your Hero 09:57 3. Men are attracted to confidence AND boundaries 12:30 4. Men fall for presence, not perfection 16:06 5. Physical intimacy creates FAST bonds - use it wisely 17:50 6. Men secretly love a woman obsessed with HERSELF 19:42 7. The more you abandon yourself, the more emotionally unavailable men show up 20:54 8. Give him freedom - the healthiest power move 23:07 9. Obsession is a signal - not love 24:34 10. Make Him Fear He Could Lose You 26:11 Summary

I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women stop chasing, stop overgiving, and attract secure love ✨

➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy

WhatsApp Coaching

➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

➞ Take the 3min FREE Attachment Quiz (3.7K others did before you) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

What I wish I knew when I was 20 about men. Truly. What would I wish I had known when I was 20? 🫂✨

These are the REAL truths about men I learned the hard way. As an ex–anxious attachment girl. Heartbroken. Overthinking every text 📱 Feeling insecure WAY too often 🥶⛈

If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for YOU 🔒🤍 If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men. If you chase, overgive, and lose yourself trying to be chosen. If dating feels like a 🎢 instead of something calm and safe.

In this episode, I’m sharing truths about men for anxious attachment that would have completely changed my 20s. Psychology hacks How men’s brains actually work 🔮 How they experience attraction. How they love. And why doing MORE usually pushes them away 🚩

This is NOT men vs women ❌ It’s attachment styles. Nervous system wiring Polarity. And why anxious energy quietly kills attraction even when your intentions are pure 🩹

I share what actually makes men pursue 🐆 Why boundaries create attraction How overgiving backfires. And what secure love really looks like when you stop performing and start being YOU

This is dating advice for anxious women who want to stop auditioning. Stop proving. Stop waiting by the phone 👀📱 And finally feel calm, grounded, and confident in love ✨

I’m Jula Attachment style coach. I went from anxious to earned secure 5 years ago in only 6 months🦸🏼‍♀️

Welcome to the Anxious to Secure Podcast 🎙🤍

CHAPTERS:

00:00 10 Truths about men (about attachment styles, polarity, chasing) that would have CHANGED my 20's completely 01:27 01. It was NEVER about “men vs women.” 02:55 02. You teach a man EXACTLY how to treat you in the FIRST weeks. 03:57 03. If you treat him like a toddler, he WILL act like one. 05:29 04. If you want a man to pursue you, STOP performing. 07:37 05. Men respond to your ENERGY, not your anxiety. 09:03 06. Red flags don’t fade - they grow. 10:46 07. You were NEVER “too much.” His capacity was too little. 12:42 08. A man’s effort is the ONLY real truth - not his words. 14:33 9. Love isn’t always “I love you” 50 times a day. 17:30 10. If a man is confused about you, he is NOT your person. 19:57 Summary

Free Attachment Library

➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,

NOT how they communicate with you)

➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

ON SALE:

✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in only 4 Steps

(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)

➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy

WhatsApp Coaching

➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

If you’re stuck chasing crumbs… overthinking every text… or getting attached to guys who give the BARE minimum — this episode is your wake-up call.

I’m breaking down why your anxious attachment makes you want the most unavailable guy… why your brain obsesses over mixed signals… and why you keep replaying his “hey” like it’s a love letter.

You’ll learn the 10 TRUTHS that flip the script — the ones that make HIM chase YOU.

Not by playing games… but by becoming SECURE, magnetic, grounded, and done with the old patterns that kept you stuck. 📓🖤

Inside this episode you’ll get:

★ why chasing makes him pull away ★ why scarcity makes you crave him ★ why your brain confuses rejection with danger ★ why you ignore the guy who actually likes you ★ why obsession kicks in when your body feels abandonment coming ★ and how to detach in a way that makes you feel confident, not cold ✨

By the end, you’ll know exactly how to stop overgiving, stop spiraling, stop proving yourself… and finally let HIM step up.

CHAPTER

00:00 Introduction to Transformative Truths 01:52 1. Whatever is being CHASED… RUNS 03:15 2. The more UNAVAILABLE he is… the more your brain craves him 04:59 3. Rejection hits the brain like actual PAIN ⛈️ 05:59 4. When 19 adore you and 1 ignores you… your brain locks onto the ONE 08:07 5. When you chase, he relaxes. When you relax, he CHASES 15:15 6. Obsession kicks in when your body thinks you’re about to be ABANDONED 20:42 7. If he can PREDICT you… he stops pursuing 22:46 8. Your fantasy version of him does 95% of the chasing 25:01 Your Homework - 3 easy practical steps to STOP obsessing over HIM

Free Attachment Library (30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)

➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET

To Stop Running On Autopilot

ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,

NOT how they communicate with you)

➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

ON SALE:

✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in only 4 Steps

(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)

➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

Personal Coaching (Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)

➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy

WhatsApp Coaching (Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)

➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.