Welcome back to back 02:

Do you ever check your phone twice just to make sure they didn’t ignore your last text? Over-plan a date, then feel stressed when it doesn’t go perfectly? Rehearse what to say next instead of actually being in the moment?

There’s nothing wrong with you. 🖤 Your nervous system has just learned to protect you — and right now, it’s overworking.

In this episode, I share tiny daily habits that help you step out of survival mode and feel safe in love again. No overthinking. No chasing. No controlling outcomes. Just calm, soft, grounded energy that feels secure.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why anxious attachment is actually wounded masculine energy (and how to shift back into your feminine flow) ✨ Tiny nervous system habits that calm your anxiety in real time ✨ How to detach from outcomes, timelines, and “I need to be married by X” pressure ✨ How to create micro-moments of feminine joy that rewire your brain for safety and trust

Because anxious attachment is about control — and you can’t feel safe while you’re controlling. Safety comes from detaching, softening, and trusting.

By the end, you’ll understand the nervous system “why” behind your anxious patterns — and have practical ways to regulate your body, not just your thoughts. 🌻

Inside this episode, I also share my 4R Method — the exact process I used to go from anxious to secure. It’s simple, real, and it works.

You’ll walk away knowing how to: — Feel and release anxiety safely — Rewire limiting beliefs like “I’m too much” or “People always leave” — Meet your needs without over-giving — Build calm, secure connection that lasts

✶ New episodes every Tuesday + Thursday Subscribe so you don’t miss the next one 🖤

If you loved this episode, screenshot it, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which habit you’re trying first!

🖤 ON SALE:

How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

🖤 ON SALE: TEXT ANXIETY COURSE

How to STOP needing so much reassurance via TEXT

(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Healing Anxious Attachment with feminine micro habits 01:29 Understanding Energies: Masculine vs. Feminine 03:50 Micro Habit 1: Practice Receiving 06:20 Micro Habit 2: Embrace Imperfection 09:15 Micro Habit 3: Slow Down Mentally 14:17 Micro Habit 4: Detach from Outcomes and Timelines 18:13 Micro Habit 5: Create Feminine Joy Moments 22:33 Micro Habit 6: Create White Space 26:45 the KEY message 28:33 why Healing Anxious Attachment MATTERS 31:47 My 4R Method to go from Anxious to Secure 35:22 Consequences of Unhealed Attachment Styles

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much “inner work” you do… your anxiety still runs the show.. this episode is going to change how you see healing 🖤

In this episode, I share 6 tiny feminine micro habits that helped me rewire my anxious brain and finally feel SAFE in love. No huge routines. No big life changes. Just small, daily shifts in how you do things, not what you do.

Because anxious attachment is actually stuck masculine energy always controlling, chasing, fixing. Safety doesn’t come from control. It comes from letting go. From softening, trusting, and allowing life to move through you.

You’ll learn how to: ✨ Slow your body + mind so your nervous system feels safe again ✨ Stop over-managing others and finally breathe in your relationships ✨ Use your voice + movement to regulate your anxiety ✨ Shift from “doing” to “being” — the feminine way

One tiny habit at a time, you’ll begin to feel more secure, calm, and connected...both with yourself and your partner.

Time Stamps: 00:00 Intro: Why changing how you do things changes everything 01:43 Micro Habit 1 — Slow Down Physically 04:06 Micro Habit 2 — Release Control of Others 05:58 Micro Habit 3 — The “What If Positive” Hack 08:32 Micro Habit 4 — Use Your Voice in New Ways 10:36 Micro Habit 5 — Shift Your Physical Activities 14:24 Micro Habit 6 — Slow Down Mentally 17:43 Closing Thoughts 19:29 Why Becoming Secure Really Matters

🎧 Next up:

Part 02 dives into the emotional side of feminine energy.. letting go of perfectionism, embracing vulnerability, and fully receiving love.

✶ New episodes every Tuesday + Thursday Subscribe so you don’t miss the next one!

If you loved this episode, take a screenshot, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which micro habit you’re trying first 🖤

🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY

(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Listen back to EPISODE 46:

"How to Heal Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 Steps)"

Spotify: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-enxxw-18a55d4

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uR3XhGPCJY&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=41

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Ever wondered how to SPOT an avoidant early on, or what a securely attached partner actually looks like?

Dating can feel like a minefield when you have an anxious attachment, right? 🧠

You meet someone, start to get attached, and only later realize they’re emotionally unavailable. They pull away. You overthink.

Suddenly, you’re stuck in the same anxious spiral, replaying the same patterns again and again.

In this episode, I’m showing you how to spot avoidant tendencies early, understand attachment patterns, and recognize what a secure, emotionally available partner actually looks like.

Because the goal isn’t to judge... it’s to create awareness, so you stop chasing mixed signals, stop overextending emotionally, and start investing in the people who actually make you feel calm, seen, and safe. 🖤✨

By the end of this episode, you’ll know:

• How anxious and avoidant patterns secretly show up in early dating

• Why you keep feeling pulled into the same exhausting cycles

• How to spot secure energy so you can attract healthier connections

• Ways to protect your nervous system and emotional wellbeing while dating

🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

🖤 ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles in Dating 01:42 Question 01 04:49 Question 02 09:21 Question 03 13:40 Question 04 18:20 Question 05 20:50 Bonus Question 23:02 Key Questions to Identify Attachment Styles

🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY

(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Breakups with avoidant partners can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and stuck wondering: Will my avoidant ex ever come back? 🖤

In this episode, I dive deep into what avoidant partners do after a breakup, including the 3 stages avoidants go through when they pull away, how they process space, and why they sometimes reach out again.

You’ll learn:

★ How avoidant exes think and feel after a breakup

★ Signs your avoidant ex might be missing you

★ What happens when avoidants need space

★ How to stop the push-pull cycle with an avoidant partner

★ How to protect yourself emotionally while an avoidant processes their feelings

If you’ve ever Googled “why does my avoidant ex pull away but still care?” or “do avoidant partners come back after a breakup,” this episode is for you. Understanding these stages helps you set boundaries, stay grounded, and take control of your healing—no guessing required. ✨

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After Breakup

02:21 Stage 01: Emotional Shutdown

07:30 Stage 02: Quiet Reassessment

11:32 Stage 03: “I Actually Need This Person” ✨

16:15 What you should consider IF you get back together with the avoidant

17:52 Final Thoughts on Healing and Relationships

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

📓✍🏻Attachment Library (30+) FREE resources

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

COURSES ON SALE

STOP OBSESSING OVER TEXTS📱🧘🏻‍♀️ In 21 days or less

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

🧑🏼‍❤️‍🧑🏻 STOP Overthinking Your Relationship (4 STEPS)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

1:1 COACHING SUPPORT:

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship 🚫 🌀

(EVEN with your Avoidant Partner)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Think it’s the world… your partner… the people you date… making you feel unsafe in love? 🖤

What if I told you most of that emotional unsafety actually starts with your own thoughts the ones you barely notice, the inner critic running nonstop in your head?

In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I show you how anxious attachment and your inner critic create the emotional chaos in your relationships and how you can finally take back control.

We dive into: ★ How anxious attachment triggers the inner critic and makes you question your worth ★ Why your inner voice gets so loud when you feel judged, unseen, or rejected ★ The roots of self-criticism from parenting, culture, media, and social comparison ★ Step-by-step ways to soften your inner critic and reparent yourself ★ How to build emotional safety with yourself first, so you can connect from a place of calm in your relationships

If you’ve ever Googled:

“how to feel emotionally safe in my relationship”,

“how to quiet my inner critic”,

“how to stop overthinking in love”, or

“how to be less anxious in a relationship”, this episode is for you.

You’ll learn practical ways to notice your inner critic, get curious about what it’s trying to protect you from, respond with compassion, and use actions...not just words—to show yourself safety.

This is about retraining your nervous system, reducing anxiety, and creating secure, loving connections with yourself and others. ✨

Whether you’re navigating dating, marriage, or friendships, understanding and soothing your inner critic is key to creating emotional safety in relationships and finally feeling truly seen, valued, and loved.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding the Inner Critic 01:56 My personal Inner Story 04:35 Connect your Inner critic back to your Roots 06:44 Realise your Inner Critics Protective Drive 07:22 What the Anxious Attachments Inner Critic Notices 09:06 Visualisation to become your own Inner Parent 11:13 3 Steps to Reparent Your Inner Critic 21:01 Before + After: From HATE to LOVE 23:44 Quick Recap

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

OFFERS:

🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less"

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

ow to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

Attachment Style QUIZ :

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Do you ever meet someone new and suddenly feel like he’s the one just because he’s nice, attractive, or gives you a few compliments?

🖤✨ If you’ve noticed yourself rushing into relationships like this, it’s not a coincidence.. it’s a sign of anxious attachment.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why your nervous system craves instant closeness, why you attach too fast, and how that speed can leave you anxious, overthinking, and ignoring red flags.

We’ll talk about the real difference between healthy interest and anxious over-investment, plus the biggest dating mistakes anxiously attached people make (texting too much, oversharing, canceling plans, imagining a future too soon).

✨ Ready to learn the secret behind anxiously attaching too fast, the hidden consequences in dating vs. how securely attached people actually date?

This insight can shift how you see yourself, your patterns, and the kind of love you’re building.

You’ll also learn how to slow down dating without losing attraction, how to build self-trust and emotional safety, and how to notice if someone is actually secure.. or just giving you temporary reassurance.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:

• Why do I fall too fast in relationships?

• Am I attached to the person, or just the comfort they give me?

• How do I stop overthinking texts and rushing for labels?

…this episode is for you.

Tune in now to discover how dating at a steady, grounded pace helps you protect your energy, feel secure, and finally choose someone for who they are: not just the safety they represent.

Welcome to the Anxious-to-Secure Podcast with, me - Jula

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment in Dating 02:15 What Anxious Attachment Looks Like 03:23 Mistakes That Happen When You Attach Too Fast in Dating 07:19 How does Securely Dating + Slow Dating look like? 08:22 How to date slowly when you first meet (Stage 01) 10:02 How to date slowly in the TALKING Phase of dating (Phase 02) 14:10 How to date slowly when you are officially DATING (Stage 03) 16:38 How to date slowly when you're EXCLUSIVE (Stage 04) 19:12 Tools to Stay Grounded During the Dating Stages 20:13 Recap and Final Thoughts on Healthy Dating

Attachment Style QUIZ :

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

OFFERS:

🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less"

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

"What happens when a dismissive avoidant realizes they lost me?” 🖤✨ A question I get asked as relationship coach a bunch of times.

If you’ve ever found yourself replaying the breakup in your head, wondering: “Is he thinking about me? Does he even care? Will he ever come back?” this episode is for you.

I’ll walk you through the hidden emotional timeline of the avoidant partner after a breakup..the relief phase, the delayed grief, and the subtle breadcrumbs they drop instead of saying “I miss you.”

We’ll explore why they seem fine right away, why their emotions hit them months later, and the indirect ways they try to reconnect when vulnerability feels too dangerous.

Think of it like opening a locked safe..their feelings are inside, but the timing of when they surface might surprise you.

You’ll learn: ★ Why avoidants really pull away when things feel “too close” ★ The difference between breakup relief and delayed grief ★ How to spot those tiny breadcrumbs that mean more than they let on ★ Why their suffering shows up AFTER you’ve already cried your tears ★ Four powerful steps YOU can take to reclaim your energy and move forward with confidence

This isn’t about waiting for them to change—it’s about understanding the avoidant attachment style better, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and finally put the focus back on YOU.

If you’re anxiously attached and stuck in the “what ifs,” this episode will give you clarity, relief, and a path to heal while they’re still wrestling with their locked-away emotions.

Press play, and let’s unpack what really happens when the avoidant realizes they lost you. 📓🖤✨

CHAPTER:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After a Breakup 01:10 What is an Avoidant Attachment Style? 02:13 How This Leads to a Breakup 03:59 Why They Pull Away 06:35 The Breakup RELIEF and Delayed Grief 09:43 Indirect Ways They Show They Care 11:15 Why Anxious hurt DURING relationships, Avoidant’s AFTER 13:14 Empowering yourself after a Breakup 4 Steps 16:28 Step 01 17:25 Step 02 18:12 Step 03 18:49 Step 04 19:32 Remember THIS

Attachment Style QUIZ :

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

➞ FREE Attachment RESOURCES

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

You know that gut-wrenching feeling when he’s into you one moment and distant the next?

When you’re left wondering why he won’t open up, or why your stomach drops every time he pulls away?

That’s what happens when you’re dealing with someone who’s emotionally unavailable.

In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’ll break down 10 clear signs of emotional unavailability… plus a bonus one at the end you don’t want to miss.

This will help you spot the patterns fast when you’re dating, or finally understand why your anxiety spikes in your current relationship.

And before we start:

this isn’t about blame 💛 it’s about awareness. Awareness is step one in protecting your heart and nervous system.

We’ll talk about what it really means to be emotionally unavailable, especially in dismissive avoidants…why they crave closeness but fear it, how mixed signals and lack of affection leave you anxious, and the painful gap between what they say they want and what they actually do.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the emotional work, begging for crumbs of affection, or whispering in your head,

“Does he even care?”… this episode will hit home.

Stick with me until the end, because the bonus sign reveals why words and actions so often don’t line up… and why that mismatch keeps you stuck on people who feel impossible to reach.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 10 Signs He’s Emotionally Unavailable 00:36 What is the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style at all? 02:45 01 They dodge deeper conversations 04:35 02 They’re inconsistent in communication 06:24 03 They don’t prioritize you 07:43 04 Fear of commitment or future talk 09:38 05 They invalidate your feelings 10:58 06 Affection feels limited or conditional 12:07 07 They disappear under stress 13:06 08 Overly focused on independence 13:57 09 Mixed signals 14:50 10 You feel emotionally starved 16:20 BONUS SIGN: Actions vs. Words in Relationships 18:31 If you are attracted to THESE men - WHAT NOW?

Attachment Style QUIZ :

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.