🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (30+worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

I’m spilling a secret today… 🖤

Recently, I filled out a survey for people who’ve earned a secure attachment, and it asked questions that cut straight to the heart of how we actually get there.

What changed, what worked, and what no one tells you about leaving anxious patterns behind.

I decided to share my answers with you.. everything I revealed about my journey from anxious to secure.

The things I did daily, the mindset shifts, and the practices that rewired my nervous system so I could stop spiraling over texts, stop over-giving, and finally feel safe in love.

If you’ve ever wondered why you attract avoidants, why your anxious brain can’t stop catastrophizing, or how it actually feels to go from panicking in love to calm, grounded, and confident, this episode is your insider look.

Think of it as me giving you my secret roadmap, the exact insights I shared with a survey of people who’ve done the work and truly become secure.

🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps

(With Your Avoidant Partner)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

🖤 ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text

(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)

https://tr.ee/PInPmy

Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)

https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30

Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs

(before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles 01:04 What is Attachment Theory and Why does it matter? 06:25 Going deeper into the ANXIOUS attachment style... 10:09 10 Question about Healing my Anxious Attachment 10:38 1: What changed when you became more secure? 12:30 2: Does it feel different to be attracted to someone now? 14:40 3: What were the key turning points or breakthroughs in your transition? 19:47 4: What was the biggest barrier or challenge you had to overcome? 23:01 5: What specific actions or strategies did you take to shift from insecure to secure? 25:31 6: Which strategies were most effective? 26:08 7: How did your relationships change? 29:38 8: What mindset or belief shifts happened during your transformation? 30:23 9: How did you cultivate self-regulation and self-soothing? 32:43 10: How do you maintain secure attachment daily now? 34:53 Bonus Question (busting the biggest MYTHS)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Welcome back to back 02:

Do you ever check your phone twice just to make sure they didn’t ignore your last text? Over-plan a date, then feel stressed when it doesn’t go perfectly? Rehearse what to say next instead of actually being in the moment?

There’s nothing wrong with you. 🖤 Your nervous system has just learned to protect you — and right now, it’s overworking.

In this episode, I share tiny daily habits that help you step out of survival mode and feel safe in love again. No overthinking. No chasing. No controlling outcomes. Just calm, soft, grounded energy that feels secure.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why anxious attachment is actually wounded masculine energy (and how to shift back into your feminine flow) ✨ Tiny nervous system habits that calm your anxiety in real time ✨ How to detach from outcomes, timelines, and “I need to be married by X” pressure ✨ How to create micro-moments of feminine joy that rewire your brain for safety and trust

Because anxious attachment is about control — and you can’t feel safe while you’re controlling. Safety comes from detaching, softening, and trusting.

By the end, you’ll understand the nervous system “why” behind your anxious patterns — and have practical ways to regulate your body, not just your thoughts. 🌻

Inside this episode, I also share my 4R Method — the exact process I used to go from anxious to secure. It’s simple, real, and it works.

You’ll walk away knowing how to: — Feel and release anxiety safely — Rewire limiting beliefs like “I’m too much” or “People always leave” — Meet your needs without over-giving — Build calm, secure connection that lasts

✶ New episodes every Tuesday + Thursday Subscribe so you don’t miss the next one 🖤

If you loved this episode, screenshot it, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which habit you’re trying first!

🖤 ON SALE:

How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

🖤 ON SALE: TEXT ANXIETY COURSE

How to STOP needing so much reassurance via TEXT

(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Healing Anxious Attachment with feminine micro habits 01:29 Understanding Energies: Masculine vs. Feminine 03:50 Micro Habit 1: Practice Receiving 06:20 Micro Habit 2: Embrace Imperfection 09:15 Micro Habit 3: Slow Down Mentally 14:17 Micro Habit 4: Detach from Outcomes and Timelines 18:13 Micro Habit 5: Create Feminine Joy Moments 22:33 Micro Habit 6: Create White Space 26:45 the KEY message 28:33 why Healing Anxious Attachment MATTERS 31:47 My 4R Method to go from Anxious to Secure 35:22 Consequences of Unhealed Attachment Styles

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much “inner work” you do… your anxiety still runs the show.. this episode is going to change how you see healing 🖤

In this episode, I share 6 tiny feminine micro habits that helped me rewire my anxious brain and finally feel SAFE in love. No huge routines. No big life changes. Just small, daily shifts in how you do things, not what you do.

Because anxious attachment is actually stuck masculine energy always controlling, chasing, fixing. Safety doesn’t come from control. It comes from letting go. From softening, trusting, and allowing life to move through you.

You’ll learn how to: ✨ Slow your body + mind so your nervous system feels safe again ✨ Stop over-managing others and finally breathe in your relationships ✨ Use your voice + movement to regulate your anxiety ✨ Shift from “doing” to “being” — the feminine way

One tiny habit at a time, you’ll begin to feel more secure, calm, and connected...both with yourself and your partner.

Time Stamps: 00:00 Intro: Why changing how you do things changes everything 01:43 Micro Habit 1 — Slow Down Physically 04:06 Micro Habit 2 — Release Control of Others 05:58 Micro Habit 3 — The “What If Positive” Hack 08:32 Micro Habit 4 — Use Your Voice in New Ways 10:36 Micro Habit 5 — Shift Your Physical Activities 14:24 Micro Habit 6 — Slow Down Mentally 17:43 Closing Thoughts 19:29 Why Becoming Secure Really Matters

🎧 Next up:

Part 02 dives into the emotional side of feminine energy.. letting go of perfectionism, embracing vulnerability, and fully receiving love.

✶ New episodes every Tuesday + Thursday Subscribe so you don’t miss the next one!

If you loved this episode, take a screenshot, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which micro habit you’re trying first 🖤

🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY

(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Listen back to EPISODE 46:

"How to Heal Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 Steps)"

Spotify: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-enxxw-18a55d4

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uR3XhGPCJY&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=41

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Ever wondered how to SPOT an avoidant early on, or what a securely attached partner actually looks like?

Dating can feel like a minefield when you have an anxious attachment, right? 🧠

You meet someone, start to get attached, and only later realize they’re emotionally unavailable. They pull away. You overthink.

Suddenly, you’re stuck in the same anxious spiral, replaying the same patterns again and again.

In this episode, I’m showing you how to spot avoidant tendencies early, understand attachment patterns, and recognize what a secure, emotionally available partner actually looks like.

Because the goal isn’t to judge... it’s to create awareness, so you stop chasing mixed signals, stop overextending emotionally, and start investing in the people who actually make you feel calm, seen, and safe. 🖤✨

By the end of this episode, you’ll know:

• How anxious and avoidant patterns secretly show up in early dating

• Why you keep feeling pulled into the same exhausting cycles

• How to spot secure energy so you can attract healthier connections

• Ways to protect your nervous system and emotional wellbeing while dating

🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

🖤 ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles in Dating 01:42 Question 01 04:49 Question 02 09:21 Question 03 13:40 Question 04 18:20 Question 05 20:50 Bonus Question 23:02 Key Questions to Identify Attachment Styles

🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY

(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Breakups with avoidant partners can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and stuck wondering: Will my avoidant ex ever come back? 🖤

In this episode, I dive deep into what avoidant partners do after a breakup, including the 3 stages avoidants go through when they pull away, how they process space, and why they sometimes reach out again.

You’ll learn:

★ How avoidant exes think and feel after a breakup

★ Signs your avoidant ex might be missing you

★ What happens when avoidants need space

★ How to stop the push-pull cycle with an avoidant partner

★ How to protect yourself emotionally while an avoidant processes their feelings

If you’ve ever Googled “why does my avoidant ex pull away but still care?” or “do avoidant partners come back after a breakup,” this episode is for you. Understanding these stages helps you set boundaries, stay grounded, and take control of your healing—no guessing required. ✨

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After Breakup

02:21 Stage 01: Emotional Shutdown

07:30 Stage 02: Quiet Reassessment

11:32 Stage 03: “I Actually Need This Person” ✨

16:15 What you should consider IF you get back together with the avoidant

17:52 Final Thoughts on Healing and Relationships

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

📓✍🏻Attachment Library (30+) FREE resources

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

COURSES ON SALE

STOP OBSESSING OVER TEXTS📱🧘🏻‍♀️ In 21 days or less

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

🧑🏼‍❤️‍🧑🏻 STOP Overthinking Your Relationship (4 STEPS)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

1:1 COACHING SUPPORT:

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship 🚫 🌀

(EVEN with your Avoidant Partner)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Think it’s the world… your partner… the people you date… making you feel unsafe in love? 🖤

What if I told you most of that emotional unsafety actually starts with your own thoughts the ones you barely notice, the inner critic running nonstop in your head?

In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I show you how anxious attachment and your inner critic create the emotional chaos in your relationships and how you can finally take back control.

We dive into: ★ How anxious attachment triggers the inner critic and makes you question your worth ★ Why your inner voice gets so loud when you feel judged, unseen, or rejected ★ The roots of self-criticism from parenting, culture, media, and social comparison ★ Step-by-step ways to soften your inner critic and reparent yourself ★ How to build emotional safety with yourself first, so you can connect from a place of calm in your relationships

If you’ve ever Googled:

“how to feel emotionally safe in my relationship”,

“how to quiet my inner critic”,

“how to stop overthinking in love”, or

“how to be less anxious in a relationship”, this episode is for you.

You’ll learn practical ways to notice your inner critic, get curious about what it’s trying to protect you from, respond with compassion, and use actions...not just words—to show yourself safety.

This is about retraining your nervous system, reducing anxiety, and creating secure, loving connections with yourself and others. ✨

Whether you’re navigating dating, marriage, or friendships, understanding and soothing your inner critic is key to creating emotional safety in relationships and finally feeling truly seen, valued, and loved.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding the Inner Critic 01:56 My personal Inner Story 04:35 Connect your Inner critic back to your Roots 06:44 Realise your Inner Critics Protective Drive 07:22 What the Anxious Attachments Inner Critic Notices 09:06 Visualisation to become your own Inner Parent 11:13 3 Steps to Reparent Your Inner Critic 21:01 Before + After: From HATE to LOVE 23:44 Quick Recap

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

OFFERS:

🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less"

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

ow to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

Attachment Style QUIZ :

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Do you ever meet someone new and suddenly feel like he’s the one just because he’s nice, attractive, or gives you a few compliments?

🖤✨ If you’ve noticed yourself rushing into relationships like this, it’s not a coincidence.. it’s a sign of anxious attachment.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why your nervous system craves instant closeness, why you attach too fast, and how that speed can leave you anxious, overthinking, and ignoring red flags.

We’ll talk about the real difference between healthy interest and anxious over-investment, plus the biggest dating mistakes anxiously attached people make (texting too much, oversharing, canceling plans, imagining a future too soon).

✨ Ready to learn the secret behind anxiously attaching too fast, the hidden consequences in dating vs. how securely attached people actually date?

This insight can shift how you see yourself, your patterns, and the kind of love you’re building.

You’ll also learn how to slow down dating without losing attraction, how to build self-trust and emotional safety, and how to notice if someone is actually secure.. or just giving you temporary reassurance.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:

• Why do I fall too fast in relationships?

• Am I attached to the person, or just the comfort they give me?

• How do I stop overthinking texts and rushing for labels?

…this episode is for you.

Tune in now to discover how dating at a steady, grounded pace helps you protect your energy, feel secure, and finally choose someone for who they are: not just the safety they represent.

Welcome to the Anxious-to-Secure Podcast with, me - Jula

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment in Dating 02:15 What Anxious Attachment Looks Like 03:23 Mistakes That Happen When You Attach Too Fast in Dating 07:19 How does Securely Dating + Slow Dating look like? 08:22 How to date slowly when you first meet (Stage 01) 10:02 How to date slowly in the TALKING Phase of dating (Phase 02) 14:10 How to date slowly when you are officially DATING (Stage 03) 16:38 How to date slowly when you're EXCLUSIVE (Stage 04) 19:12 Tools to Stay Grounded During the Dating Stages 20:13 Recap and Final Thoughts on Healthy Dating

Attachment Style QUIZ :

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

OFFERS:

🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less"

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.