A poem in Old English that is wildly ambivalent but brutally clever coupled with a vegetation-rich perversion of an English classic.

A gentle tail-rhymed parody about a brotherhood of drinkers that no one has every written about: a perfect Fail.

Ælfric gets all teacherly about Jesus's birth and Matt and David suck down 3000 calories in 5 minutes. It's great.

The vaguest and most general milquetoast fifteenth-century poetry on how bad things are (they are bad people!) with a drink that makes Matt and David question their credibility.

Alfred shouts out his sorrows while Matt and David (both the Biblical and the actual) knock back a Bob Dylan x vermouth fanfic love fest. With fire. And a monastic chaser.

A Middle English ballad about a sketchy juggler with bad intent and a potent bittersweet and floral ringer.

An inventive and violent life of a kid doctor with the citrusy and herbal Milk of a Lion.

Lydgate's anti-Plague miracle poem with pestiferous angels paired with a medieval medicine-infused citrus bomb.