Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. In today's episode, we're diving into the unique challenges and enriching experiences that come with living overseas and navigating OCONUS military life. Our special guest, Brianna Mendoza, brings her wealth of experience as a military spouse and graduate student in marriage and family therapy, specifically focusing on military therapy.

Brianna will share her journey of moving to Japan post-COVID, highlighting her adventures in nature hikes, traditional onsen visits, and connecting with locals through a dog café. We'll discuss the critical importance of communication and coping mechanisms within relationships during such transitions, and how these experiences can strengthen family dynamics. Brianna also offers practical tips for military spouses, from preparation and research before the move to celebrating the unique opportunities of living abroad.

We'll explore the logistical hurdles, such as housing adjustments, pet limitations, and strategic planning for overseas assignments, as well as stress management and support networks. Finally, we wrap up with reflections on personal growth and the profound impact of these experiences on relationships and family life.

Stay tuned for an insightful conversation packed with valuable advice and heartwarming encouragement for those embarking on their own OCONUS journeys. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast, and check out our free ten-week relationship email course to enhance your communication and connection skills!

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. In today's episode, we're delving into the unique challenges and triumphs of military marriages with our special guests, Darrell and Veronica Williams. With an impressive 26-year marriage behind them, Darrell and Veronica share their journey from high school sweethearts to long-distance partners, offering invaluable insights into navigating military life together.

Dr. Polinsky wraps up this heartfelt conversation by expressing gratitude for the wisdom and mentorship shared by the Williamses, and reminding listeners that there are helpful resources available in the show notes, including a link to Darrell and Veronica's coaching website and a free ten-week relationship email course.

From the significance of clear communication and shared decision-making to building trust and balancing military and home life, this episode is packed with practical tips and inspirational stories. Darrell and Veronica emphasize viewing marriage as a commitment that transcends individual needs, rooted in faith, friendship, and mutual support.

So, whether you're part of a military couple or seeking to strengthen your relationship, this episode is designed to help you thrive together. Stay tuned for a conversation filled with love, dedication, and actionable advice. And don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast!

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to Episode 55 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today's episode, we're diving deep into the complex world of attachment theory and its intertwining with domestic violence, especially within the military context. Joining us is Jef Slootmaeckers, an Emotionally Focused Trainer with ICEEFT and therapist with a profound understanding of the relational dynamics related to domestic violence.

In this episode, we explore the intricate balance between emotional regulation and survival strategies, focusing on the pivotal questions of attachment: "Are you there for me?" "Am I good enough?" and "Do I belong?" Through the epsiode, Jef and Liz discuss how these questions influence military relationships through the challenging phases of deployment, homecoming, and everyday interactions.

We discuss the cycle of pursuing and withdrawing that many couples experience, emphasizing the unique stressors of military life, and the critical need for boundaries and support in cases of intimate partner violence (IPV). Jef sheds light on the different forms of IPV and the attachment dramas that often escalate conflicts, stressing the importance of deshaming and understanding in therapeutic settings.

Listeners will gain valuable insights into the emotional struggles of military families, the powerful impact of naming and processing emotions, and the hope for resolving conflicts through empathy and connection. Join us as we navigate these sensitive topics and aim to normalize the complexities of military life while offering resources and support for couples in need. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation with Jef Slootmaeckers on attachment, love, trauma, and resilience.

Don't forget to check out our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale for further insights into your relationship. Let's get started!

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we explore the intricate dynamics of relationships and mental well-being, especially within military families. I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we delve into Episode 54: "How to Deal with Separation Anxiety in Relationships." Joining us is Megan McCullough, a licensed clinical social worker and military spouse with 19 years of experience navigating the unique challenges of military life.

In this episode, we'll uncover the often unspoken struggles faced by military spouses, who are expected to "suck it up" and push forward amidst frequent and abrupt separations. Megan shares her invaluable personal insights into the cultural and emotional hurdles, emphasizing the importance of validating these experiences and promoting open discussion. Together, we'll discuss the normalization of seeking therapy, the crucial role of communication, and finding effective coping mechanisms like grounding techniques and self-soothing.

This conversation sheds light on the messy realities of deployment and reintegration, from dealing with internal stigma to maintaining connections within dual-income households. Whether you're part of a military family or looking to understand more about separation anxiety, this episode offers practical advice and heartfelt encouragement. So, tune in as we navigate through the complexities of separation anxiety and strengthen our ability to communicate and connect.

Don't forget to check out our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale for further insights into your relationship. Let's get started!

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to Episode 53 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we are diving into the fascinating world of nervous system regulation with our esteemed guest, Michelle Cantrell. Michelle is a licensed professional clinical counselor and founder of the Center for Growth and Connection, specializing in emotionally focused therapy and EMDR.

In this episode, Michelle shares powerful insights on how to recognize and manage a dysregulated nervous system, highlighting the impact it has on our relationships and emotional well-being. We'll explore techniques like EMDR’s resourcing, physical activities for completing the stress response cycle, and the importance of self-regulation and co-regulation in emotional experiences with partners.

Michelle and I discuss practical tools, including the RULER acronym for emotional intelligence, the benefits of creative expression, and the role of art therapy in achieving emotional balance. Plus, we'll uncover the surprising power of breath work, positive social interactions, and even crying as methods to soothe and connect.

Join us as we unravel the complexities of emotional regulation, offering you effective strategies to bring calm and connection into your relationships. Don't forget to check out Michelle's practice at centerforgrowthandconnection.com and take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale for further insights. Let's get started!

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to a very special episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast titled "Attachment Theory and Healing from Betrayal Trauma with Kelly Bourque." Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships.

Together with our host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, marriage and family therapist Kelly Bourque dives deep into how individuals and couples can emerge stronger after experiencing profound relationship challenges. Drawing parallels between emotional healing and the strengthening of fractured bones, Kelly illuminates the journey of healing, emphasizing self-compassion and the necessity of professional help. The discussion takes a special focus on military couples navigating the turbulent waters of deployment, unveiling practical strategies for maintaining emotional closeness and preparing for transitions.

We'll also explore the emotional turmoil following betrayal, the paths to recovery, and the profound importance of not facing these hardships alone. Through insightful analogies, expert advice, and Kelly's real-world experience, this episode provides a guide to understanding and overcoming betrayal trauma.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to a very special episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast titled "Attachment Theory and Marriage with Dr. Greg Cheney." Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships.

In this episode, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky and Dr. Greg Cheney to dive into the fascinating world of Attachment Theory and its impact on marriage, especially within the context of military life. Dr. Cheney brings his unique perspective as a chaplain and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with extensive experience in the military, offering valuable insights into creating secure and connected relationships.

Together, they explore the importance of safe haven and secure base relationships, the challenges faced by military couples, and practical strategies to strengthen emotional bonds. Join us as we unravel the complexities of attachment in relationships and discover how understanding these dynamics can lead to deeper connections and emotional well-being.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to a very special episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast titled "Attachment Parenting with Con Sheehan." Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships.

Today, we are joined by the esteemed clinical social worker Con Sheehan, who specializes in emotionally focused therapy for families and couples. In this episode, we delve into the world of attachment parenting, exploring how parents' availability and empathetic engagement play critical roles in fostering children's security and resilience.

Con provides valuable insights into how children cope with feelings of caregiver inaccessibility and how this can influence their behavior and life choices, including the risks of substance use. We also discuss specific challenges faced by military families, such as managing parental roles during deployment and the unique stresses that can impact both children and parents.

To aid our understanding, Con shares examples from his practice, focusing on creating a family environment where each member's needs are understood and met. We'll emphasize the importance of repair, availability, and intentional parenting—even discussing how therapy, even short-term, can be instrumental for families.

Whether you're a parent feeling the weight of responsibility or someone interested in emotional and relationship health, this episode is packed with practical advice and deep insights to help you connect more deeply with your loved ones. Join us, and let's start building stronger family bonds today!

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship
• Read the show notes for this episode here.