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It’s a brand new episode! (It’s a ‘96!). Is it possible to look tough while drinking from a straw? When did they start showing gigantic dicks in movies? (We’re on dick patrol again!). Speaking of dicks, Shrout hates Axl Rose. Andy is PISSED about some tire screeches. Jason debunks with facts. The boys have a cat fight regarding the 80s Sunset Strip hair metal scene. In other news, we’re hoping for an actual fight between the Paul brothers, where they just take themselves out for the sake of society. FYI, we are staring at your cameltoe. Time is going really really really slow. I think we are dead.

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GIRL GOES SHOPPING. GIRL BREAKS UP WITH BOYFRIEND. GIRL MEETS NEW BOYFRIEND. GIRL BREAKS UP WITH NEW BOYFRIEND. GIRL GETS BACK WITH OLD BOYFRIEND. GIRL BREAKS UP WITH OLD BOYFRIEND AND GETS BACK WITH NEW BOYFRIEND, RIDES IN LIMO. It would be soooo tubular if you joined us as we discuss Valley Girl! Starring Nicolas Cage’s chest hair (KAKAW!), this movie is gonna freak you out, like, I’m sooo sure. Don’t be a pukoid! Check out this tripendicular episode!

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We’re taking shots upon shots to try to get a buzz going here. Don’t we look just like Burt Reynolds (except for the mustache)? Lots of love for Michael Rooker. Silverchair talk. Hilarious store names. Which band that stayed at Shrout and Andy’s house between 2004 and 2006 stole Andy’s book of DVDs? Would you go dickless for Michael Chiklis? We’re like a jackhammer; in there with some pressure, and when we’re done, you're not the same as before. You're changed. Tell ‘em to come listen, Steve-Dave!

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Welcome to season 3 of TMRP! Before we get into the episode, I've got two things to tell you. One: I don't like you. I see you every week in this mall. I don't like you shiftless layabouts. You're one of those loser mallrat kids. You don't come to the mall to shop or work. You hang out all day, act like you live here. Well, I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda. Two: you get to see Joey Lawrence’s tits in this movie (WHOA!). Now, Join us down in the food court as we discuss… Mallrats! Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

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Happy new year! It’s 2025! Can you even believe that?! We’ve got a special episode for you today. We’re doing a power hour! We do shots of beer every 2 minutes (hey, we’re old, and a power hour is a young man’s game). With each shot, we have to answer a question. We are joined by Tiffany Douglas (aka Jason’s MUCH better half). She wrote the questions, she asks the questions, she keeps time, and she tries to keep order in the studio (she should’ve brought a gavel). Jenna In The Corner (aka Shrout’s MUCH better half) also joins us off camera. Other guest appearances include Qwarstion Dunst, David Fucktion, and Dick Bigdick. It’s a party. Don’t get left out! Come drink with us!

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Did you guys notice how Andy didn’t hit record on the video? Jason likes to give pieces of shit for gifts. (Put it over there with the others, grease ball!) Oh, can we talk about this elf on a shelf? He is getting WILD. He did blow. He put his dick in a box. He went to a strip club. He gave free mustache rides. He pissed in the lemonade. He shit on the cookies. And he seduced Barbie! He’s not a regular elf on a shelf, he’s a cool elf on a shelf. Ok now. Thanks for all of your support in season 2! We’ll see you in 2025 for season 3 of TMRP!

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Which is to say, Christmas. As in Yule. Yule Log. Not a log, I don't have a log. But I mean, you know, just, if I had a log. Not in the sense that you think I said I did. Ah, good golly! It’s the season finale of season 2 of TMRP, and we are discussing what most would agree is one of, if not THE, greatest Christmas movie of all time, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation! Wait, do you hear that? It’s a funny squeaky sound. No? Well…YOU COULDN’T HEAR A DUMP TRUCK DRIVING THROUGH A NITROGLYCERINE PLANT!

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This OOC… What a mess. It’s like there’s a bag of human poop on the table right now. Glittery vampire blood is fine, but if they start sparkling in the sun, they’re lame. Comic book nerdery? Really, Andy? Speaking of Andy, he gave himself a Wiest infection during this recording. Jason doesn’t even proofread his script writing?! What kind of podcast is this?! And let’s not forget about Shrout, he made it his business to step on lots of dicks in this one. Our musical guest, Tim Cappello, does some oily gyrating for us. And we finish the episode up with the argument to end all arguments. (Andy lost). Come with us…

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