So … the highly anticipated “Red Wave” the right-wing propaganda machine was peddling didn’t happen quite like they predicted, did it. No. Instead, it spluttered and went flaccid like Ben Shapiro on date night. Remember, his doctor wife told him a wet vagina is a disease. That’s kinda telling, ain’t it Ben?
As of this recording, Democrats control the senate with 50 seats … so now the Georgia senate race comes down to whether republican voters care enough to vote for the walking concussion protocol, Herschel “What-stupid-thing-did-he-say-today” Walker, now that they know it won’t mean anything for them. My guess is, no, they won’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mitch McTurtle tries to get Walker to withdraw from the race to eliminate the possibility of him winning and putting another moron on the senate floor. There are so many! Florida senator, and Voldemort in a bad suit, Rick Scott told Faux News’ walking thumb, Sean Hannity, that the midterms were a “complete disappointment” for the Republican Party and blamed it on voters not showing up.
OK. I wonder why they didn’t show.
Fox & Friends anchor & Trump hype-man Steve Doocy said of the Pennsylvania race between Democrat John Fetterman and Trump-backed snake oil salesman Mehmet Oz, “Why did Dr. Oz lose? Well, it looks like, according to the exit polling, it's because Fetterman won!” Really, Steve? Is that the reason? Forty years in journalism and you sound like a kid who didn’t do his book report. “Stevie, what is Animal Farm about?” “Well, it’s about these animals … and they’re on a farm…” Brilliant.
On the House side, the Republicans look like they’ll take control, but it’s not over yet. There are still some districts left to be decided and Democrats are leading in enough of them to make it a slim Republican majority if at all. It’s so bad for the right in the house that Kevin McCarthy, who is poised to become speaker if they win and who would sacrifice his first born for the gavel, may not get it. He will have to grovel at the feet of Trumpty-Dumpty McFuckstick live on camera from Mar-a-Lago to even be considered worthy of the speakership – a position he’s been striving for since his time as an aide to Congressman Bill Thomas thirty years ago. It appears Kevin doesn’t have enough votes among the MAGA caucus to win Speaker. It remains to be seen who will overtake him, but New York congresswoman and Trump-loving lumber yard heiress Elise Stefanik appears to be a front runner. You may remember Elise from her performance in such great hits as Trump’s first impeachment hearing where she did everything but cry out in ecstasy “Oh, Donald!” No one on the right has the 218 votes it would take to win Speaker. The Freedom Caucus doesn’t want Kevin. None of the Democrats will vote for him, so it could, in fact come down to Republicans and Democrats coming together to agree on a speaker. Whatever happens, it will be a shit show on January 3rd and I am here for it!
If the Republicans do take control of the House, the next two years will be total chaos in congress. Look for MAGA crazies to take control of top committees because the only way they’re gonna vote for McCarthy for speaker is if he agrees to give them appointments. Marjorie “Trailer trash” Green has been quoted as saying she wants to be on both the House Oversight Committee as well as the House Judiciary Committee stating she “completely deserves it” because she has been “treated like garbage.”
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