This episode is based on a speech/sermon I wrote in October 2024 and delivered at a March for Democracy in a small town.

I used the opportunity to share what conflict mediation has taught me about winning.

Part I: Definitions of winning and losing
Part II: What's really standing in our way
Part III: The pearl of wisdom and what we can do about it

There's also some bonus material -- concrete guidelines based on 2200 years of human experience (the Bhagavad Gita)

Enjoy!

The full text of the speech can be found at: https://ankurdelight.com/2024/10/09/how-to-win-a-democracy/

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This episode is about Muslim-Jewish relations. It's about whats been going on in Israel and Palestine for the last year. It's about what's possible in the next year. It's about what happens when we expand the circle of concern.

And it's about what is happening, all over the world, in small communities, unreported by most of the news, when people open their hearts, right now.

I interviewed Aziza Hassan and Andrea Hodos from New Ground: A Muslim-Jewish partnership for change. I get their stories, their experiences, and their perspective on how to build a relationship that can handle the test of conflict.

This the opposite of what you will hear on the news. It's about going deeper and staying closer, not demonizing and vilifying.

Join us.

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Two years ago I overheard a conversation at a local farmers' market about Clam Gardens.

Being a nosy podcast host, I eavesdropped, eventually inserted myself, and got some contact information.

Today I caught up with Ala̱g̱a̱mił Nicole Norris, of Halalt First Nation on what's now known as Vancouver Island in the Canadian province of British Columbia.

Nicole is a Shellfish Aquaculture Specialist, Intergovernmental Communicator, Cultural Support Worker; knowledge holder, and language preserver for the Hul’qumi’num.

She's also incredibly fun to talk to and not afraid to get deep and trippy from the beginning, as you will soon hear.

I had several shifts in understanding during our interview, especially around how we as humans relate to the other species around us, as well as how we relate to our ancestors and our descendants.

Let's jump in.

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In this episode I present what I learned from William Ury's The Third Side.

The basic idea is that our communities and societies are the most important element in developing an effective conflict management system, and that the essence of being effect is to exert peer pressure on resolving the conflict instead of taking the "side" of any of the parties.

Hence, the 3rd side...

(For the video version, go here: https://www.youtube.com/@tenthousandheroes)

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For the last few months I've been reflecting on How to Prevent a Civil War.

Here's why I think we need to act:
- It is in the avowed interests of multiple powerful actors -- both inside and outside of the US -- to foment widespread discord, confusion, and animosity.
- The logical conclusion of widespread discord, confusion, and animosity is civil war.
- The people working on this have lots of resources and effective technology (ie AI chatbots) at their disposal.

Basically, in absence of our concerted actions, things are going to get worse.

The most effective tool I have come to so far is conversation.

Honest, deep, vulnerable, heart-opening conversation.

This podcast is V1 of a model I'm playing with that I'd like to try out.

(For the video version, go here: https://www.youtube.com/@tenthousandheroes)

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The concept I want to present today is the Six Dimensions of Conflict, which comes up in Chapters 2 and 3 of The Crossroads of Conflict by Ken Cloke.

Ken has a model where he breaks down conflict and how we approach it into six areas, and then looks at that sextet from 4 different angles:

- Orders of Resolution
- Math/Geometry
- Location in the body
- Mediation style

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As part of my journey towards understanding what brings us together and what keeps us apart, today I want to share three examples of social dialogue I learned about in the past couple of weeks. I will resist the temptation to draw conclusions prematurely, but just let us all ruminate together with these three examples.

The first is from Nelson Mandela's autobiography -- Long Walk to Freedom (PDF) -- which I'm currently reading.

The second is a description of traditional dispute resolution in pre-partition Punjab from a recent interview I did with Somia Sadiq.

(From: http://10kh.show/00117-every-conflict-hides-a-story-with-somia-sadiq
28:30 - 31:30)

And the third is from a listener who called me yesterday and shared his experiences with a facilitator named Bob Chadwick. I'll share a little bit of what I learned in the call and then read a passage from Chadwick that I found online.

(From: Bob Chadwick, https://managingwholes.com/chadwick.htm/)

So, I don't know how you see yourself in this moment, but I see you as someone, like me, who is interested in and capable of preventing a civil war. Someone whose actions or inaction will have a lot of consequences where you live, not just this year or this election cycle, but for the next generation and the next phase in our social development.

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As Lao Tzu used to say:

"Do the hard thing while it is still easy."

According to my guest, Ward Hayes Wilson, it's a pretty good time to work on nuclear disarmament.

This is precisely the opposite of all my reflections on the issues, which usually end in hopeless shrugging and attempts to resign myself towards guaranteed nuclear annihilation.

(Much harder when you have kids!)

Ward has a very different take, which is rooted in 30 years of obsessive study of the issue and the fundamental premise -- which he has confirmed will military leaders around the world -- that nuclear weapons are simply not useful for warfare.

Bonus: He's also smart, hilarious, and does great accents.

(For the video version, go here: https://www.youtube.com/@tenthousandheroes)

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