Épisodes

  • Making the darkness conscious

    Making the darkness conscious
    Nov 15 2024

    Sam and Joe are back after a long break with a juicy quote from their old friend Carl Jung. Myths, archetypes, figures of light, dark caves with dragons and treasure, it's a wild ride. Enjoy!

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    43 min
  • Just One Thing - Jack Kornfield

    Just One Thing - Jack Kornfield
    May 25 2024
    What we take to be a self is tentative, fictitious, constructed by clinging, a temporary identification with some parts of experience. Self arises, solidifying itself, like ice floating in water. Ice is actually made of the same substance as water. Identification and clinging harden the water into ice. In a similar way, we sense ourself as separate. Jack Kornfield - The Wise HeartThis realization that the separate self is an illusion must be one of the most useful things I've ever learned. I spent most of my life assuming that I was a separate self-contained unit and I felt disconnected from those around me. From the universe as a whole. But where exactly is this seat of the self? Where's the little Joe who's up there in my head, directing everything? Where is the seat of attention? If I look for myself, where do I find myself? I find a constant flow of sense data, sights, sounds, smells, temperature. I find thoughts. But who are these thoughts occurring to?As Jack Kornfield says, identification and clinging harden the water into ice. The closest thing I can find to a separate self is this contraction in my chest that seems to create some kind of locus in time and space. But actually I am in no way separate from the flow. This has been seen through for me in meditation. What I find in meditation, if I have a good session, is I drop into a much larger, possibly infinite, ocean of awake awareness. Which mostly has a fairly neutral quality, but there's actually a lovingness there. A gentle sense of support. And I find this encouraging to say the least.Of course, I have a social self and I need to function. And go to work and perform my roles in society. But there's no need to constantly reify the separate self, this particle, somehow split off from the rest of the universe. What I actually find is an openness, a sort of infinite openness, where I used to imagine my separate self to be. Jack Kornfield talks about ice and water. I've heard it talked about in terms of a wave. A wave that somehow thinks it's separate from the ocean. Or a sunbeam that's forgotten it's part of the sun. I'm a part of something much bigger than I always took myself to be. But it's also something incredibly simple. It's just the present moment. I'm not separate to you who's reading this. I really am just part of this flow.I only care about this because I guess I've always just wanted to know the truth. I guess I've always suffered feeling so separate from things around me. It's a great relief when I realize and drop into the fact that I'm this open, loving awareness. And I can then accept everything just exactly the way it is in the present moment. After all, what other choice, do I really have?Creators & Guests Joe Loh - HostThis is part of an ongoing series of reflections by Joe on readings. He's also posting writing at https://joeloh.substack.com Image: courtesy of Craig over at https://wish-art.blog---------------------More about the author of today's quote:Jack Kornfield (born 1945) is an American writer and teacher in the Vipassana movement in American Theravada Buddhism.[1] He trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, Burma and India,[2] first as a student of the Thai forest master Ajahn Chah and Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma. He has taught mindfulness meditation worldwide since 1974. In 1975, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein, and subsequently[clarification needed] in 1987, Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. Kornfield has worked as a peacemaker and activist, organized teacher training, and led international gatherings of Buddhist teachers including the Dalai Lama. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_KornfieldWebsite | jackkornfield.comMore about The Wise Heart
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    4 min
  • Just One Thing - Eckhart Tolle

    Just One Thing - Eckhart Tolle
    May 25 2024
    The root of this physical urge is a spiritual one. The longing for an end to duality, a return to the state of wholeness. Sexual union is the closest you can get to this state on the physical level. This is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer. But sexual union is no more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss. As long as it is unconsciously sought as a means of salvation, you are seeking the end of duality. On the level of form where it cannot be found. You were given a tantalizing glimpse of heaven. But you are not allowed to dwell there.And you find yourself again in a separate body. Eckhart Tolle The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual EnlightenmentThis is the fifth in a series of reflections by Joe on quotes he found helpful or striking. He has some good writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com/Creators & Guests Joe Loh - HostInternet Archive has a free version of The Power of Now at https://archive.org/details/ThePowerOfNowEckhartTolle_201806/page/n11/mode/2upSource:The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenmentpresents itself as a discussion about how people interact with themselves and others. The concept of self-reflection and presence in the moment are presented along with simple exercises for the achievement of its principles. Published in the late 1990s,[1] the book was recommended by Oprah Winfrey[2] and has been translated into 33 languages.[3] As of 2009, it was estimated that three million copies had been sold in North America.[4] Author: Eckhart Tolle, Subjects: Spirituality, Psychology, 1997, Namaste Publishing, 1999 New World Library, 236 pagesAbout the author:Eckhart Tolle (/ˈɛkɑːrt ˈtɒlə/ EK-art TOL-ə; German: [ˈɛkhaʁt ˈtɔlə]; born Ulrich Leonard Tölle, 16 February 1948) is a German-born spiritual teacher[1][2] and self-help author. His books include The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (1997), A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (2005) and the picture book Guardians of Being (2009).Tolle came to prominence as a self-help author in the U.S. and internationally beginning in 2000, after Oprah Winfrey promoted his books in 2000 and 2005 and created webinars for him in 2008. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_TolleA longer summary of the book here: https://medium.com/@saadwrkacnt/a-deep-dive-into-the-power-of-now-by-eckhart-tolle-ac6446b0aa7c------------------ That's from Eckhart Tolle from The Power of Now. I've always had the sense when it comes to sex, that it's more than just a couple of animals, rutting. There always seem to be a lot more going on in that realm for me and I do think it is a sense of oneness. The self dropping away. A merging with another person. A deep connection that I really haven't found in any other way. But also maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm putting too much on sex, and it is just a physical act with no meaning. But when I found this piece of writing, it really spoke to me about my experience of sex. But as he says, it's no more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness. An instant of bliss. There's a much greater oneness, that's quite hard to talk about, that can be referred to as non-duality. A sense of nothing being separate. A sense of only the world, the entire world, existing in this present moment. Which is really what the book, The Power of Now is all about. And it is a book I've re-read about four times now. He does a good job of talking about something that's very hard to put into words. But I really believe from my own experience that it's duality that is the illusion and it's oneness that is the truth. So all the separateness and loneliness and apartness that I feel, it's actually an illusion. That brief glimpse of heaven that can happen during sex, it's actually a glimpse of reality. It's actually breaking out of the illusion. But I know for myself, it can become obsessive to pursue those moments. And then I head into something which is more like addiction. And at that point, I'm even further away from the oneness that I'm seeking than I ever was before. I think there's an incredible power around sex and love and I think that I'm someone who's been sold a crock in terms of romanticism and the idea that the right person will complete me, make me feel whole and resolve everything. So it's this tricky balance for me of. Seeing the spirituality in sex. But realizing that for me, It's my spiritual life that's going to give me that sense of wholeness and oneness and connection with the universe. And if I keep trying to find it in fleeting moments of peace I'm only gonna end up unsatisfied. I know what it is to go towards oneness but it's not something that’s easy for me to explain. But I know what it feels like. And for me, it's really about seeing through the illusions and seeing through 150 years of romanticism and seeing through Hollywood and advertising and everything that's led me to believe that the only way to find happiness and ...
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    6 min
  • Just One Thing - Joseph Campbell

    Just One Thing - Joseph Campbell
    May 25 2024
    “I have really found when I look around that the romantic love I see is this ideal, the anima. The anima is the ideal that you carry within yourself that you put onto the different entities out there and you unite with that. Pretty soon you see through the projection. And then what happens?”Transcript:That's Joseph Campbell from an interview he did. I won’t pretend to be an expert on what the anima is but I took note of this because it resonated with me. I can see that I've done this throughout my adult life. It's to project something, onto a woman in my case. And then basically have a relationship with that projection.And there's an incredible high that comes from doing that. And they become perfected in your mind. And quite often I can take photos of women when I'm in this state, they will be sitting in a café or wherever, and it will be a particularly attractive photo of them. And quite often they get some kind of high out of it too.But as Joseph Campbell says:“Pretty soon you say through the projection. And then what happens?”Well, in my case, what happens is I tend to end the relationship. And often the women are left hurt and confused about what went wrong. And it reminds me of the Joni Mitchell quote about monogamy and how if all you ever have is short-term relationships and casual dating then basically, you’re just dating yourself over and over again. Telling the same stories, revealing the same small parts of yourself, and having the same fun. Whereas to really go deep with someone and commit and really get into the complexities of getting to know someone is to have a much deeper experience. But I think that moves you past romantic love and chemistry and all the hedonism that's inherent in all those chemicals floating around. I think that moves you to something that maybe feels a lot more ordinary a lot of the time. That slow layering process of really getting to know one person. And sitting here now I can see that that is an ideal for me. The problem I have is whenever I meet a new person, I tend to project my anima onto them and have the same relationship over and over again. I’m trying to get out of that trap and move onto hopefully something more profound.Creators & Guests Joe Loh - HostImage by Craig: writing and sharing pictures of his current travels with the beloved missus and greyhound over at wish-art.blog-----------Sam here. This is part of an ongoing series from Joe, of short personal reflections on quotes found during reading, usually on spirituality, and psychology. Joe is writing at https://joeloh.substack.comJoseph Campbell is also one of my go-to teachers. Not necessarily an authority on up to date folklore, but certainly someone who can open you up to new ideas and give you courage to face fears and challenges. Campbell has helped many people greatly with perhaps one the hardest things in life, to actually face our true purposes and choose to move towards lives of greater meaning and yes, love.Reading about anima/animus, I found an interesting summary of Jung's four levels of Eros (erotic romantic love) associated with development/integration of the anima. Maturation of romantic love felt towards women, moves from:1. Eve: desire, needs, nourishment, security and love2. Helen: recognition of women's intelligence, competences and achievements in their own right3. Mary: Righteous, paragon of virtue: recognition of women's moral accomplishments I would say4: Sophia: finally recognising women as wise and fully human, *gasp*, equal, and not at all an object.-----------I also found Maria Popova's wonderful article in the Marginalian, a great match with Joe's reflection today. Reviewing Pathways to Bliss, Campbell's book on love, purpose and reality, she also quotes Anais Nin, Zen teacher D.T Suzuki, Stendahl, Dan Savage and the poet Rilke. Popova offers a striking synthesis drawing on many sources, persuading us powerfully that embracing imperfection and compassion is the path to love and meaning. Joseph Campbell on Why Perfectionism Kills Love and the Pathway to Bliss in Romantic RelationshipsKindred Media has some powerful articles by Amy Wright Glenn, who works as a yoga teacher, doula and chaplain. Clearly she is someone who specialises in helping people at life's most difficult moments. She tells stories of love, grief, bliss and purpose. "Much of our experience of love’s intensity is due to our search for the other part of our original selves. According to Aristophanes, no earthly joy can compare to this reunification." I welcome the superb clarity she brings to Campbell's ideas and her own insight. While it’s human nature to sort through stories for meaning, I agree with Campbell about the supremacy of experience over meaning... Feeling is primary. Fully feeling brings integration and is the key to healing life traumas. Meaning comes later, if at all.Amy Wright Glenn in the same article, gives us a poignant outline of Campbell's notion of three kinds of ...
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    3 min
  • Just One Thing - Alain de Botton

    Just One Thing - Alain de Botton
    May 25 2024
    To be a loving person is to wrestle with a profoundly improbable idea: that however modest our position in society might be, however much we may have been maltreated in the past, however mesmerised we are by the deplorable behaviour of powerful individuals, however shy and frail we are, we are constantly capable of causing other people significant hurt. Alain de Botton in A More Loving World: How to increase compassion, kindness and joyCreators & Guests Joe Loh - HostThis is the second of an ongoing series by Joe: short reflections on quotes he captured and shared with Ali and Sam while reading (usually books on spirituality, psychology, consciousness, religion etc). Joe is writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com/ and it's genuinely sizzling stuff. You can tell he read Hunter S Thompson and Kerouac as a youngster, and since then I'm assuming he's read other stuff that sounds more mature, because his writing is kind of both of those things. It's present and truthful, and entirely unsentimental, but it has feelings in it. That link again: https://joeloh.substack.com/ - Sam Image courtesy of Craig https://wish-art.blog/gallery/____________________________________More on the quote's source, A More Loving World: How to increase compassion, kindness and joy at https://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/a-more-loving-world/ An extract of the book is available at https://assets.theschooloflife.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/04143544/A-More-Loving-World_extract.pdfAbout the author of today's quote:Alain de Botton FRSL (/dəˈbɒtən/; born 20 December 1969) is a Swiss-born British author and public speaker. His books discuss various contemporary subjects and themes, emphasizing philosophy's relevance to everyday life. He published Essays in Love (1993), which went on to sell two million copies. Other bestsellers include How Proust Can Change Your Life (1997), Status Anxiety (2004), and The Architecture of Happiness (2006).He co-founded The School of Life in 2008 and Living Architecture in 2009.[1][2] In 2015, he was awarded "The Fellowship of Schopenhauer", an annual writers' award from the Melbourne Writers Festival, for that work. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_de_BottonMore great quotes from Alain de Botton at https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Alain_de_BottonTranscript:That's Alain de Botton. And that really struck me because I think I'd always given myself an out. That it didn't really matter what I did. That I was a small and insignificant person.And as it says 'however mesmerized we are by the deplorable behaviour of powerful individuals...' It always seemed enough to just look at someone like a Donald Trump, and just be like, "well, I'm nowhere near that bad, and I'm also nowhere near that powerful, so the things that I do don't really matter." But as it says 'we are constantly capable of causing other people significant hurt.' I look back and see a lot of burnt bridges. And actually burning bridges is the only way I know to deal with a lot of this stuff. And I like to think that I have gotten better in sobriety and recovery. But I've always had an edge that's capable of hurting people.And I guess the point of this note and why I wrote it down at the time, and why it struck me so much, was this is the justification that I'd used for my poor behaviour in hurting people, that I was just a little insignificant ant. And reflecting on it now, it's partially that insignificance that led to some of the rage, that led to some of the bitterness, that led to some of the poor behaviour. So, I guess the thing that I'm trying to find now, is some genuine humility. And just getting myself out of the way and seeing other people, and other people have their struggles. And to quote Bob Dylan's grandma, that "everyone walks a hard road." And I know I'm not going to get this right. It's not going to be perfect. But this quote reminds me that I matter to maybe a handful of people, but to those people I really matter. And I have to be really careful to try to be kind wherever I possibly can. And it doesn't matter what's happened to me. It doesn't matter whether I've been given a diagnosis or I feel like I've had a hard time in life. It actually only matters how I act in the world.That's what I'll be judged on. And that's what I should be judged on. I need to get my thoughts right. And my emotions, right. And then hopefully my actions will improve.
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    3 min
  • Just One Thing - Pema Chodron

    Just One Thing - Pema Chodron
    May 25 2024

    All that is necessary then is to rest undistractedly in the immediate present, in this very instant in time.
    And if we become drawn away by thoughts, by longings, by hopes and fears, again and again we can return to this present moment.
    We are here.
    We are carried off as if by the wind, and as if by the wind, we are brought back.
    When one thought has ended and another has not begun, we can rest in that space.
    We train in returning to the unchanging heart of this very moment.
    All compassion and all inspiration come from that.
    Pema Chodron - When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (1997)


    This short episode is from Joe, intended as the first of many, reflecting on passages he took note of in reading. Next week's main ep will explain more of the back story behind this new project.

    Joe is writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com, and (Sam here) I say it's very good stuff. Very honest. Totally Joe. A rollicking read.
    Creators & Guests

    • Joe Loh - Host

    Image: 'Calanais Stones, what a mystery' by Craig https://wish-art.blog/

    ____________ ______________

    About the author of today's quote:

    Pema Chödrön (born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown, July 14, 1936) is an American Tibetan Buddhist. She is an ordained nun, former Acharya of Shambhala Buddhism and disciple of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Chödrön has written books and audiobooks, and is principal teacher at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia. Chödrön teaches the traditional "Yarne" retreat at Gampo Abbey each winter and the Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life in Berkeley each summer. (wikiquote)

    More Pema Chodron quotes at https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pema_Ch%C3%B6dr%C3%B6n

    By the same author: How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind (2008)
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    4 min
  • Is Love the Drug?

    Is Love the Drug?
    May 17 2024

    Romantic Realities: Deconstructing the Romantic Love Myth

    We dive into the misconceptions of romantic love prevalent in Western culture, drawing on a quote from You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships, by Richard Swartz. Get the book from Internal Family Systems Institute at https://ifs-institute.com/you-are-one-youve-been-waiting

    Sam mentions Let's Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice podcast with Dr Morgan, yet again, but actually links to it this time. https://episodes.fm/1496034764 to find it on your podcast player of choice. But I use and recommend Podcast Guru, and Fountain, available on all phones ... anyway it's a great resource on attachment theory, and if you end up taking a workshop let Sam know how it goes.

    Here's the quote:

    Our Western culture and many of the relationship experts in it have issued us faulty maps and improper tools. We've been told that the love we need is a buried treasure, hidden in the heart of a special intimate partner. Once we find that partner, the love we crave should flow elixir like, filling our empty spaces and healing our pain.

    We touch on:

    • the usual gossip and personal experiences, in between the wise and reflective stuff.
    • historic context of romantic love as an ideal
    • likely role of biology in facilitating feelings of romantic love
    • vs the grim reality of marriage historically, as the transfer of property between men
    • romance in media
    • the unrealistic expectations it sets
    • reflect on the nature of love
    • love's challenges
    • the importance of self-love
    • and realistic expectations in intimate relationships
    • dynamics of attachment styles
    • mental health, and the balance between self-reliance and being a good partner
    • a broader contemplation of love's realities versus its cultural constructions

    Episode image: courtesy of Craig - read stories and look at more great shots at https://wish-art.blog/gallery/


    The show cover is from the filming of The KLF's Ancients of Mu clip - https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/apr/27/return-of-the-klf-bill-drummond-jimmy-cauty

    Show theme is from Ehsan Gelsi - he just dropped a new song video today - it's nice synth instrumental music. Watch the maestro at work over at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN9XE0UKZDE

    0:00 TTTT Is Love the Drug?
    00:18 Myth of Romantic Love
    02:10 Personal Stories: Rethinking Romance
    04:53 Debating the Reality of Romantic Love
    08:18 The Cultural and Biological Perspectives on Love
    32:42 Navigating New Beginnings and Misunderstandings
    32:54 The Journey of Moving In and Relationship Dynamics
    33:22 Relationship Flags: Red, Yellow, and Green
    36:10 Mental Health and Self-Awareness in Relationships
    52:54 Reflections on Love, Choice, and Commitment

    • (00:00) - Is Love the Drug?
    • (00:18) - Myth of Romantic Love
    • (02:10) - Personal Stories: Rethinking Romance
    • (04:53) - Debating the Reality of Romantic Love
    • (08:18) - The Cultural and Biological Perspectives on Love
    • (32:42) - Navigating New Beginnings and Misunderstandings
    • (32:54) - The Journey of Moving In and Relationship Dynamics
    • (33:22) - Relationship Flags: Red, Yellow, and Green
    • (36:10) - Mental Health and Self-Awareness in Relationships
    • (52:54) - Reflections on Love, Choice, and Commitment
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    1 h et 2 min
  • Sam reads your listener notes

    Sam reads your listener notes
    May 9 2024

    Listeners are producers. Thank you for getting the show out.
    I reflect on my own podcast listening: helpful with insomnia, and a lifeline during tough times. Write me here

    Reading a wide range of listener notes, I respond and explore

    • personal themes:
    • vulnerability
    • thoughts on how to engage usefully with attachment theory, to go looking for the things we don't want to say
    • the two breakdown eps from Joe and Ali
    • voyeurism: when is it okay to listen to people spilling about intense experiences
    • I say it's because people pod with honesty, because they want to be seen and accepted, flaws and all, so you're helping. If it's feeding something exploitative, you'll feel it.

    Themes around speaking, activism, expression:

    • the half-informed should speak, while being honest about their level of understanding, otherwise we will only hear from the powerful and the uninformed, who are never honest about their level of understanding
    • middle-class white women do speak up a lot, but should continue to do so
    • a brief history of middle-class women as key activists
    • I encourage a writer who listens, to start a show, and offer support and advice to anyone curious about getting started

    Networked communal media not subject to the algorithm

    • the communal, horizontal, networked experience of podcasts (listeners become producers, or step up to speak, in a mutually supporting way)
    • audio over RSS: the last medium not to have been completely overrun by ads and algorithms
    • open nature of podcast distribution via RSS feeds, Really Simple Syndication, contrasting it with highly vertical, platform-dependent media (LOCKED SYSTEMS = serfdom)
    • commercial radio thrived on podcast-ish values before becoming a bloated ad beast
    • a call for community support and contribution, reinforcing the collaborative spirit of podcasting
    • listeners as producers, who contribute to the content and continuity of podcasts
    • Value for Value, decentralisation: the philosophy we need for sustainable media in the age of closed platforms
    • the importance of fearless feedback in all directions
    • the democratizing power of podcasts under techno-feudalism

    Creators & Guests

    • Sam Ellis - Host
    Art by https://www.instagram.com/schinacoy/

    • (00:00) - The Life-Changing Power of Podcasts
    • (01:11) - Podcast Listening Habits
    • (02:07) - Podcast Listeners as Producers
    • (03:38) - Exploring Attachment Theory Through Listener Feedback
    • (06:21) - The Open Nature of Podcasting vs. Centralized Media
    • (24:18) - Embracing Vulnerability and Listener Connections
    • (25:06) - The Power of Envy and Personal Growth
    • (25:36) - Podcasting as a Form of Expression
    • (30:02) - The Impact of Listening and Speaking
    • (32:27) - Exploring Faith and Listener Feedback

    00:00 The Life-Changing Power of Podcasts
    01:11 Podcast Listening Habits
    02:07 Podcast Listeners as Producers
    03:38 Exploring Attachment Theory Through Listener Feedback
    06:21 The Open Nature of Podcasting vs. Centralized Media
    24:18 Embracing Vulnerability and Listener Connections
    25:06 The Power of Envy and Personal Growth
    25:36 Podcasting as a Form of Expression
    30:02 The Impact of Listening and Speaking
    32:27 Exploring Faith and Listener Feedback
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    50 min