As much as I believe you want every guest to feel like your church is alive and they can belong, we have an opposing force to that desire so strong that it is crippling the big “C” Church as a whole—the American way of life.

In his article, The Misunderstood Reason Millions of Americans Stopped Going to Church, Jake Meador writes, “Contemporary America simply isn’t set up to promote mutuality, care, or common life.”

Simply put the American way conflicts with the way of Jesus.

Consider one of the composite characters in the book The Great Dechurching. The character is described as a 30-something woman who grew up in church.

She meets a less religiously engaged guy; they get married, and, at some point early in their marriage, after their first or second child is born, they stop going to church.

Another case is someone entering early or mid-career, working a high-stress job that they feel demands a 60—or 70-hour workweek.

Add to that 15 hours of commute time, and suddenly, about two-thirds of their waking hours in the week are already accounted for.

After a few weeks of either scenario, and many others we could examine, the thought of going to church on Sunday and creating a hospitable environment for someone else feels like a burden.

The underlying challenge for many of us is that our lives are stretched like a rubber band about to snap, and church attendance and participation end up feeling like an item on a checklist that’s already too long.

The merry-go-round of related emotions leaves us feeling guilty but justified. We feel guilty because we know what we should do, but we feel justified because life is what it is.

But a vibrant, life-giving church requires more, not less, time and energy from its members. Being a part of a life-giving church invites us to prioritise one another over our careers, prayer and time reading scripture over accomplishment, coming to church and creating hospitable environments over a “slow Sunday.”

We host an eternity-changing event every week, and if we follow Jesus' example, we must be good hosts in our homes and not let the American way get in the way of the way of Jesus.