I’m devoting this program dedicated to helping people placed into adoption to explore their own emotions, desires, and questions about reuniting with their biological family by asking others like us to tell their own true stories. I’m so thankful for the life that my adopted parents gave me, but I also had the incredibly good fortune to be reunited with my biological mother in 2009. Our story is amazing to me because our reunification unfolded in a way that I never could have predicted. However everyone’s search and discovery journey is different and we’ll share an array of stories in this podcast.

Read Full TranscriptDamon: 00:09 Hi, I’m Damon Davis and I’m launching a new podcast series called, Who Am I Really? I’m devoting this program to helping people placed into adoption to explore their own emotions, desires, and questions about reuniting with their biological family by asking others like us to tell their own true stories. You’re probably asking yourself who I am and why I launched this podcast. First, let me say, I grew up in a very loving home with my adoptive mother, Veronica, supported by my adoptive father, Willy they’re just mom and dad to me, and I love them dearly for everything they did, large and small. That gave me the opportunities to be the man that I am today, but I also had the incredibly good fortune to be reunited with my biological mother in 2009. Our story is amazing to me because our reunification unfolded in a way that I never could have predicted.

Damon: 01:04 A few things happened to me that really sparked my desire to search. One of the first influences happened during a visit with my inlaws in Baltimore, Maryland. My wife’s distant aunt welcomed us into her home one day. This lovely elderly woman opened the door, greeted us, toting her small wheeled oxygen tank behind her. As we sat in her living room, she spread pictures, newspaper clippings and letters on the coffee table. She told stories about the family’s history in a way that only she could recount them as what I viewed as the unofficial family historian, but that experience made me realize that one day she would no longer be with us and if another person tried to spread the same family historical facts in the same way they could not tell the family story the way that she had. It dawned on me that when she passed away, the ability to weave the family history that she knew would be lost and I should act quickly if I didn’t want the same to happen in my biological family.

Damon: 02:07 When I decided to launch the search, my social worker in Baltimore shared something from her experience...

I’ve shared an adoptee bond with my dear high school friend Andre for years. In this episode, Andre shares the story of his loving adopted family, being the older sibling to his adopted parent’s biological son, and the truth about how he came into this world. His biological mother never forgot him and honored his life every year.

Andre: 00:02 You go up to the judge, she has my case. She opens this Manila folder and I was like, there it is, like I'm this close. So then she proceeds to go through and she says that, you know, I have information here but you can't have it.

Voices: 00:23 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:34 This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on today's show I was lucky to be joined by my old friend Andre. We've known one another for more than 25 years, going back to high school and at that time as young men, we both discovered that the other was adopted too and we were instantly connected. In our conversation, you'll hear some of that old school brotherly love, but you'll also hear some really poignant moments when the fact that he's an adoptee was revealed to his brother and the difficult news he learned about how he came into the world.

Damon: 01:21 First, Andre, I want to welcome you to the show. Thanks for coming.

Andre: 01:23

Kathleen grew up with five siblings, and they were all biologically related to her parents–she was the only adoptee! As a child she was told that she was adopted, but it didn’t quite sink in until the topic of adoption came up in conversation and her mother reminded her, “you’re adopted too.” But what blew my mind was how the search for her first family wasn’t originated by her, her family found her and knew exactly where to look

The post 003 – When the Search Finds You appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Kathleen: 00:00 You meet people your whole life. You meet friends, you meet new family members, people are born, people die, but meeting someone who is your actual biological parent after you're already, you know, at this point I was 18 years old is a very, very strange thing.

Voices: 00:19 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:30 This is "Who Am I, Really" a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon on today's show. I'm joined by Kathleen. Her journey as an adoptee is amazing because while she wanted to search for her family of origin, the search actually came to her at a very young age. You're not going to believe how Kathleen's story unfolded and you'll hear just how fortunate she feels for how things turned out.

Damon: 01:09 I appreciate you taking time to do the show. Take me back to the beginning. I know you and I talked a little bit before, but take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about your background, about growing up, where you were and what your community was like, what your family was like and your, your family structure.

Terry shared the story of his biological parents’ wartime extra marital affair that brought him to life. He said his adopted parents felt he was “the sun the moon and the stars”, and spoiled him that way. As a teen, Terry wanted to apply for a job and needed his birth certificate from his parents. But that simple request worried his mother deeply about her place in his heart because she thought he was beginning a search for his biological family. He didn’t connect with his biological mother until his own parents were in failing health, but what an emotional day it was when he did finally meet his first mom!

The post 005 – Part of Her Memory That She Lost Was Me appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Terry: 00:02 My Mom, her dad are dying and I'm going to beat my birth mother for the first time and my two half sisters that I've never met before. So I pulled up and Mary came out and we hug, but she was very, I don't want to say distant, but she certainly wasn't real warm.

Voices: 00:27 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:34 Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon on the show today is Terry who located his biological family at a time before the Internet allowed easy searches for facts and information. He was born in the 1940s a time of war for our country, but it's also when his story begins and his journey, you'll hear about his path to learning who he is in so many ways and a very emotional day that he met his biological mother for the first time. I've been really excited to talk to you since Carmen may the introduction, so thanks for making time. Tell me a little bit about your childhood and your community, a little bit about your family and just generally how you grew up as an adoptee.

Terry:

In adoption, Julie grew up in the Midwest with a family of trans racial adoptees. Her brothers are adopted from Vietnam, and her sister is white. Each of them has a different perspective on searching for their biological families. Julie has always been curious. She told me that in the moments after her son was born and he was placed in her arms, she could forgive her biological mother, and release the anger she previously felt about her rejection. In that moment, she clearly understood the everlasting bond of a mother to her child.

The post 006 – I Forgave Her When My Son Was Born appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Julie (00:00):

Yeah. When I had my son, like the moment I gave birth to him, I will say like the second he was placed in my arm and my first thought was at my birth mom and I just, I, I let go of all the anger.

Voices (00:21):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:32):

This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and in this show. I had the great pleasure of catching up with my old friend Julie. We met over 10 years ago and as it often happens with me, we bonded over being adoptees, but she was already seeking her biological family and had been at it for a long time when we met. When we first knew one another, she had located her family of origin and her social worker had been in touch with them, but for some reason they had not actually made the connection. Julie moved away so I never got to hear what happened next for her. I've wondered about Julie for years. So today she finally satisfied my curiosity.

Damon (01:17):

Thank you so much for taking time to join me for this. I have been so excited to talk to you for like years. Honestly. I mean, you'll recall you and I first met back. What was that?

Julie (01:29):

2003. Yep.

Damon (01:29):

We bonded over being adoptees. I recall one of the conversations that we had around the fact that you had begun to search for your biological family. So I'm really excited to hear the update because I, I've honestly, I've thought about you off and on for years wondering how your story unfolded. So I, I can't wait to get to the end, but for right now, what I'd love for you to do is just take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about, you know, how you grew up,...

Steve was raised in Baltimore, MD in a predominantly Jewish suburban neighborhood. But as he looked around at his friends and other families, he truly questioned his own identity, especially as an adoptee. In an era before electronic record keeping, Steve used his street savvy to buy the information he needed about himself in order to advance his search for his biological family. More crafty thinking led Steve right to his biological mother’s front door. He wanted to meet her, but not necessarily reveal that he was her son. He knocked on her door with a story that should have gotten him sent on his way. Instead she invited him in! Just wait until you hear his crafty approach to introducing himself to his biological mother, and the truth about his European heritage.

The post 010 – How Can I Meet Her Without Telling Her Who I Am? appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Steve (00:04):

My biggest question to my parents who raised me was always, are you sure? Are you 100% sure that I'm Jewish? And I'm looking in the mirror, I'm thinking, I don't look like anybody in this neighborhood. Yeah, I knew I wasn't Jewish and I wanted to know what my background was.

Voices (00:27):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:38):

This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Hey, it's Damon and today you're going to hear Steve's journey. He has family history in Baltimore, Maryland, but his biological roots go back to Chicago, Illinois. Steve says that he was a bit of a juvenile delinquent when he was a teen and quite the opposite of his siblings, one who was a jock, the other who was a scholar, but it turned out those street skills and crafty thinking were just the tools he needed to locate and connect with his biological mother. I can't wait until you hear just how he did it.

Damon (01:18):

Steve, I'm super glad to be connected to you, man. I appreciate you accepting the invitation to chat a little bit. You've got quite an amazing story, but I'd love for you to take me back to your early childhood. Tell me about what it was like in your family as an adoptee, what your structure was like and your family and what your community was like and how you fit into the community as an adoptee.

Steve (01:42):

Perfect. Yeah, I'll start off was saying, you know, my adoptive parents, I'll start off with them, uh, to give you a little idea why they even went the adoption routes, but they, they were a Jewish couple. Uh, they were married in the late forties. They decided to start a family probably somewhere around 1950, 51, and they obviously could not conceive. So, um, they decided to go...

Tom advocates for adoptee rights and shares his personal experiences about being adopted. He was adopted as an infant and things went so well his parents decided to adopt two older boys when Tom was two years old. Their adoption is where his trouble started. Life became chaotic in their home because the older boys were difficult for his parents to control. Tom was feeling sidelined. Sadly, one of the older boys sexually abused him resulting in issues he’s dealt with most of his life. Searching to repair his past he sought counseling, connected with his biological mother, and tracked down his biological father. But Tom was never quite able to gain the sense of belonging he was searching for.

The post 012 – I Need This For My Sanity appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Tom (00:03):

You know, I knew more and more it was him. Wrote a third letter and basically said, look, I'm not after your money. I'm not looking to disturb your family, but I, I need this for my own sanity. I need to, I need to know and, and I'd like to meet you if I can.

Voices (00:25):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:36):

This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on the show today, I'm joined by Tom. Tom advocates for adoptee rights and shares his personal experiences about being adopted online. He shared with me that he was adopted as an infant and things went so well that his parents decided to adopt two older boys when he was two, but that's when the trouble started. He says, life became chaotic in their home because the other boys were difficult for his parents to control leaving Tom feeling sidelined, resulting in issues he dealt with his entire life ever since. Searching to repair his past, he sought counseling, connected with his biological mother and tracked down his biological father, but Tom was never quite able to gain the sense of belonging he was searching for.

Damon (01:29):

Tom, thanks for taking time to talk to me this morning. I appreciate it.

Tom (01:33):

Absolutely.

Damon...

Michael grew up in Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY. He led a comfortable life in the Williams loving home when he accidentally discovered, at 12 years old, that he was adopted. The discovery that he actually had another identity created conflict in him, especially during his teen aged years.

With spontaneity, tenacity, and a fair bit of luck Michael was able to track down the phone number for a long lost cousin in NY. She sounded the alarm to the family that Michael had found her, and a series of holiday season reunions ensued. But his reunification was not without its resentment. Over the course of two decades he satisfied his curiosity to uncover every detail he could about who he really is. It was an emotional journey of discovery that led him all they way to his family’s roots in the South.

The post 019 – Adoption Was Chapter Two Of My Life, I Had To Learn About Chapter One appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Michael (00:02):

The only thing I can think of was like going to the motherland. America is a nation of still with immigrants, but there is a mother country, ancestrally speaking, so whether you are going to come from Poland, Ireland, Africa or wherever. When you go back to those things, there's something grounding, something that anchors you and it did for me because I'm looking at this woman. I'm like my life story begin with this woman. It all started in her womb.

Voices (00:38):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:49):

This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, I'm Damon Davis on today's show. I'm joined by Michael who grew up in Coney Island, Brooklyn, New York. Michael was living a comfortable life in the Williams loving home when he accidentally discovered that he was adopted at 12 years old. The discovery that he actually had, another identity created conflict in him during his teenage years. With spontaneity, tenacity, and a fair bit of luck, Michael was able to track down the phone number for a long lost cousin in New York. Over the course of two decades, he satisfied his curiosity to uncover every detail he could about who he really is. It was an emotional journey of discovery all the way to his family's roots in the South. We pick up Michael's journey at the beginning, as a child. Michael was raised with six siblings, some biological to each other and many foster children who moved in and out of their home over the years. His parents cultivated a family environment for everyone, including him.

Michael (