As non-coercive, collaborative parents, how do we move through self-blame and really trust our child’s process?

In this episode, Cara supports Rythea to explore the trigger of being helpless over her daughter’s pain. Rythea unpacks, in real time, patterns of self-hatred and self-blame that are tied to underlying beliefs around parenting and self-worth. Rythea, with Cara’s facilitation, models a process of expressing the unbearable feelings around keeping her child safe, happy, and healthy. This episode takes you through the healing process of a parent taking responsibility for her own triggers, memories, and conditioning, in the face of things she cannot control as a parent.

The friendship between Cara and Rythea, as well as their knowledge as therapists, guides this episode into places listeners rarely get to see and hear on a parenting podcast.

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It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.

You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Book with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapy

Book with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

Rate & Review:

Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this episode, we sit down with Amanda Diekman, author of Low-Demand Parenting, to explore the intersection of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), neurodiversity, and low-demand parenting.

What We Cover:

• What PDA is and is not – Understanding PDA as a profile rather than a diagnosis, and clearing up common misconceptions.
• Why PDA is widely discussed today – How awareness of PDA has grown and why so many neurodivergent families relate to this profile.
• The Low-Demand Parenting approach – What it means to shift from high expectations to a more supportive, flexible, and attuned style of parenting.
• How a low-demand lifestyle works in practice – Real-life applications and examples of reducing demands to create a more peaceful home.
• The importance of practicing low-demand living for yourself – Why parents must first extend grace and compassion to themselves in order to do the same for their kids.
• Parenting trauma and nervous system healing – How our past experiences shape the way we parent, and the ways we can regulate and heal our nervous systems to show up more fully for our children.

If you’ve ever felt like traditional parenting advice doesn’t fit your neurodivergent family, or if you’re struggling to support a child who resists demands, this episode is for you. Amanda offers compassionate, insightful guidance on how to shift from a high-pressure, compliance-based dynamic to one that fosters connection, trust, and emotional safety.

Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. She lives with her husband and three neurodivergent children in an intentional community in Durham, NC.

Find Amanda Diekman’s work at:

https://www.amandadiekman.com

@lowdemandamanda

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It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.

You can donate to this podcast by going to https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck

Book with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapy

Book with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

Join Rythea's support group: https://buymeacoffee.com/rythealee

Rate & Review:

Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Rythea and Cara dive into the practical side of non-coercive, collaborative parenting (NCC) - how to guide children without control, how our triggers shape our reactions, and why guiding our kids is an essential part of the philosophy (even though many NCC parents struggle with it).

We start by checking in on how we’ve been doing lately and explore how our personal triggers challenge us to reframe our children's behaviors instead of reacting from old conditioning.

We also read a listener’s question and discuss how to use play as a way to guide young children—shifting away from control while still offering structure and support. Many NCC parents worry about being too controlling, but collaboration doesn’t mean a lack of guidance. We talk about what true collaboration looks like and how it differs from permissiveness or coercion.

This episode is full of real-life insights, practical examples, and compassionate reframing for parents trying to walk the fine line between honoring their child's autonomy and offering the guidance they need.

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It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.

You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Book with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapy

Book with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

Rate & Review:

Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this paradigm-shifting episode, Cara and Rythea sit down with special guest Vivek Patel to explore the transformative power of parenting as a spiritual practice. Together, they dive into the profound ways parenting forces us to confront our deepest blocks, triggers, and fears. From sleepless nights to moments of deep connection, this episode unpacks how the challenges of raising children can lead to unparalleled personal growth and spiritual evolution. Whether you're a seasoned parent or just starting out, this conversation will inspire you to reframe the difficulties of parenting as opportunities for transformation and collaboration.

Key Takeaways:

- You can’t avoid the challenges of parenting, but you can learn to meet them with curiosity, compassion, and openness.

- By focusing on the essence of your child, you create a foundation of connection, trust, and collaboration.

- Spiritual growth in parenting doesn’t mean being perfect; it means showing up authentically, repairing when needed, and learning as you go.

- Non-coercive parenting isn’t about "letting kids do whatever they want"—it’s about creating a partnership that honors everyone’s needs.

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It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.

You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Book with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapy

Book with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

Rate & Review:

Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

Do you ever feel like your child makes you become a person you vowed you would never be? Have you noticed that you act like a version of yourself you don’t recognize in regular life? This is because we have parts - internal parts that get triggered by your kids and by feeling helpless as a parent. We go into parts of ourselves from childhood that rear up from our past and cause us emotional responses we often don’t understand. It can be very overwhelming and daunting.

In this episode, Rythea and Cara, both therapists and parents, explore how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) parts work model can be applied to parenting. They discuss practical ways to navigate resistance and anger—both in ourselves as parents and in our children when they are triggered.

Cara shares her personal challenges with being woken up at night by her child, offering an honest look at how difficult moments can bring up our own parts that need care and validation. Together, they unpack the importance of processing emotions through validation rather than bypassing or suppressing them.

The conversation highlights the ongoing work of non-coercive, collaborative parenting: letting go of control, leaning into connection, and leading with validation, empathy, and trust. If you’re looking for ways to show up for your child while navigating your inner world, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways

1. IFS in Parenting: Using parts work to understand your triggers as a parent can help you show up more calmly and effectively for your child.
2. Working with Resistance: Recognize and validate the protective parts in you and your child rather than reacting with frustration or coercion.
3. The Power of Validation: Processing emotions often requires the simple but profound act of acknowledging and validating feelings—both your own and your child’s.
4. Collaborative Parenting Principles: Letting go, leaning in, and leading with connection and empathy fosters trust and growth in the parent-child relationship.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Cara and Rythea sit down with researcher and parent Ash Lowenthal to discuss their PhD work on trauma-informed care and non-coercive, collaborative parenting. Ash shares their passion for challenging systems that perpetuate trauma and explores how these principles can inform parenting journeys.

Key Topics:

• Parallels between non-coercive parenting and trauma-informed care in professional settings.
• Why traditional "authoritative" parenting often falls short compared to collaborative methods.
• Evidence supporting non-coercive approaches in fostering resilience and emotional safety in children.
• Practical strategies for integrating trauma-informed principles into everyday parenting.
• Research gaps in "gentle parenting" and why it may not always meet its promises.

References:

• Harris & Fallot (2001): Dynamics between service providers and users can mirror abusive relationships. Envisioning a trauma-informed service system: A vital paradigm shift.
• Lowenthal (2020): Implementation of trauma-informed care in child- and youth-serving sectors. International Journal of Child and Adolescent Resilience.
• Durrant & Stewart-Tufescu (2017): Defining discipline in the era of children's rights. The International Journal of Children’s Rights.
• Curran & Hill (2022): Impact of parental expectations and criticism on perfectionism. Psychological Bulletin.
• Fuentes et al. (2022): Parental warmth without strictness fosters adolescent empathy and self-concept. Frontiers in Psychology.
• Garcia et al. (2020): Parenting warmth and psychosocial adjustment across generations. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.

For access to these articles (often behind paywalls), email Ash, and they’ll provide a PDF version.

Connect with Ash:

• Email: ash.lowenthal@gmail.com
• Instagram: @ash.lowenthal

What can happen when two friends (who happen to be therapists) support each other to explore wounds and triggers with the intention of becoming a more loving parent? What does the process of tracking our triggers back in time look like? What does it mean to love the child we once were?

In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Rythea supports Cara as she navigates recent feelings of low-level anxiety, gently guiding her through these sensations using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. Together, they uncover how Cara’s current worries around parenting link back to her inner child’s past experiences, where autonomy was frequently disrespected. As Cara witnesses her 2 year old now, who was assigned female at birth, growing into an independent young person, she feels echoes of her own confusion, fear, and vulnerability from childhood.

Through their candid conversation, Rythea helps Cara see how these unprocessed parts of herself are reawakened in her parenting, leading to worries about her child’s safety and independence that are, in fact, deeply rooted in her own experiences. This powerful episode delves into the complexity of parenting while carrying unhealed parts from our past, revealing how these fears and anxieties often stem from the ways we were left alone or felt afraid in our formative years. Listeners will resonate with the theme of self-compassion as Cara and Rythea explore how parents can become more aware of when they’re projecting past experiences onto their children. They also discuss practical strategies for recognizing and calming these inner parts, helping listeners to parent from a place of clarity and presence rather than reactivity and fear.

Key Takeaways:

- How IFS parts work can help parents separate their past experiences from their current parenting challenges.

- Understanding how unresolved childhood feelings can fuel anxieties about our children’s independence.

- Tools and strategies to recognize when fears about our kids are rooted in our own experiences.

- The importance of self-compassion and curiosity when exploring inner parts and past wounds.

Tune in for an episode that will leave you feeling understood, inspired, and ready to bring greater mindfulness into your parenting journey.

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It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Book with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapy

Book with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

Do you struggle with playing with your kids? When playfulness is required to make a difficult moment easier, do you feel blocked, stuck, shut-down, or reactive?

In this episode, therapists Cara and Rythea dive into the transformative power of playing with your kids, no matter their age. They explore the why behind play—why it’s essential for healthy development and connection—and dig into the research on the benefits of play in strengthening the parent-child relationship. Through both personal stories and professional insights, they discuss the systemic and emotional barriers that can prevent parents from embracing play and share practical ways to overcome these obstacles. Cara sheds light on how to guide kids through story and play, especially neurodiverse children, drawing from her experience working with families and ND kids. From letting go of perfectionism to using improv skills to meet kids on their level, Cara and Rythea discuss how to become more playful and attuned as parents, regardless of past experiences with play.

Tune in to discover how to turn playtime into meaningful, joyful connection time with your kids!

Resources from this episode:

Rythea's book recommendation:

Playful Parenting: An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Confidence by Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD

Research on play referenced in this episode:

Brown, E. A., & Dunn, J. (2010). The role of play in social development. Child Development Perspectives, 4(2), 91-95.

Fisher, K. R., & Hirsh-Pasek, K. (2012). Playing around in school: The role of play in development. American Journal of Play, 4(2), 155-175.

Hakkarainen, P., & Palviainen, T. (2011). Cultural tools and practices in the development of young children. European Early Childhood Education Research Journal, 19(1), 43-56.

Harter, S. (2012). The self-perception profile for children: Manual and questionnaires. University of Denver.

Kaderavek, J. N., & Justice, L. M. (2013). Shared storybook reading: A new strategy for language and literacy. Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, 44(3), 245-258.

Ladd, G. W., & Burgess, K. W. (2015). Peer relationships and school adjustment. Child Development, 86(3), 720-731.

Morris, A. S., et al. (2013). The role of parenting in children’s emotional regulation. Emotion, 13(2), 238-249.

Piek, J. P., et al. (2010). Motor skills and developmental coordination disorders. Developmental Psychology, 46(5), 1132-1141.

Pizarro, J., et al. (2017). Play therapy for children experiencing stress. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 26(3), 778-785.

Shlafer, R. J., & Poehlmann, J. (2010). Attachment and parenting. In Handbook of child psychology (Vol. 3). Wiley.

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It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck