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Polly is in need of a vacation, and she hopes that a week on the lake with her girls is enough to push away the bad vibes of a recent breakup. Unfortunately, Polly still can’t seem to relax. After a meta conversation with the author of this book, however, Polly suddenly realizes that she’s a character in Chuck Tingle’s very first lesbian Tingler and then springs into action with a jet ski rental on the lake, hoping to seize the day.

Call me horny. These are the words of Captain Amber as she gazes out across the vast ocean, searching for Moby Butt. Years ago, Captain Amber and her living butt lover decided to play an erotic game of cat and mouse, but nobody could’ve expected it would turn into this. Despite protests from the crew, beautiful lesbian Captain Amber refuses to use her safe word and end this erotic scenario, but she’s about to learn the importance of playing in a responsible way, and that there’s nothing wrong or embarrassing about calling things off.

Lizzy Hennet is a young lesbian searching for true love, but her options are limited in England at the turn of the nineteenth century. Fortunately, a notorious matchmaker named Mrs. Bingo has moved to town, and Lizzy is thrilled to attend one of her mixers. Arriving at the ballroom, however, Lizzy discovers Mrs. Bingo’s methods are quite unusual. Lizzy will be meeting several suiters, but the only thing she’ll see is their butt.

Professor Otta Linbrock is a brilliant explorer, a woman hot on the trail of a mysterious world that might only exist in the halls of legend. She’s hoping to journey into the center of her own butt. After procuring a strange ancient parchment and deciphering its code, Otta and her assistant are headed to an isolated hotel and spa that’s nestled within in Icelandic crater. It’s here she hopes to find her next clue, but when the path comes up short, Otta is forced to reassess her strategy as an explorer.

Gal Monty comes from a long line of firewomen, and after her recent promotion to captain of the squad, she's ready for anything. In Gal's world, however, firefighters don't put out blazes, they start them. Tasked with destroying anything related to lust and pleasure, Gal soon finds herself kicking down the door of a hidden sex shop and getting to work. But with the firewoman discovers a mysterious erotica story with her own face emblazoned on the cover, everything changes.

Heckard is a bounty hunter tasked with finding and tracking down A.N.D.R.O.I.D.S, also known as Apparently Non-Detectible Representations Of In-Disguise Sasquatches. These bigfeet have blended in with human society, and it takes a trained eye to root them out. After a solid tip, Heckard heads to Seattle to interview a potential bigfoot using the notorious Butt Vamp Test. It all starts as a routine procedure, but it’s not long before Heckard finds herself falling for this beautiful opera singer who may or may not be a sasquatch.

When Alison is forced to move across the country for a new job at Tingle Industries, she finds herself in a complicated situation. On one hand, she’s able to buy her first house, something that Alison never would’ve dreamed possible. The unfortunate drawback is that she’s never seen the place in person.

Marge and her sentient log friend, Cole, have noticed a stranger at the local diner in Twin Cheeks, but they’re still curious what brings this beautiful T-Rex to their small town. Further investigation reveals this mysterious stranger to be Agent Hale Boober, a dinosaur tasked with seeking out the best cherry pie in Washington State every 25 years. Boober is almost finished with her quest, but there’s one slice left to taste. Unfortunately, the final cherry pie lies between worlds, in a mysterious location known only as The Snack Lodge.

A heatwave in Southern California is bad news, and when Amanda’s air conditioning unit breaks down, things quickly go from bad to worse. It’ll take a full day to repair, sending Amanda on a desperate mission to keep cool.

Selena is having a weird day. It starts off simple enough, with a few household items disappearing mysteriously, but things quickly turn heartbreaking when Selena’s office excludes her from a queer team-building workshop. According to Selena’s new boss, her current hetero-presenting relationship invalidates her bisexuality. Now Selena is on a mission to shake up the system and prove her new boss wrong, but as things continue to disappear around her, she realizes there’s more going than meets the eye.

Robin has never heard a song that she liked, and she is perfectly fine with this fact. Still, it doesn’t stop her friends from trying to find the perfect record that will finally get Robin to tap her feet.

When Becca, a prison guard at the Chateau Deef, catches a sentient butt tunneling her way to freedom, Becca is suddenly faced with a very important decision. Accepting the living rumps claims of innocence, Becca allows her to escape. Now years later, Becca's socialite party is interrupted by an unexpected guest, The Butt of Monte Cristo. This sentient ass is wealthy and mysterious, and Becca cant help thinking she recognizes her from somewhere.

Joma’s tropical vacation is off to a rocky start when she learns the nearby beach cove is inaccessible to guests. Apparently, local legends of mermopeds in the ocean caves have caused scientists to close down the area and hunt for answers.

The Tingleverse is a vast place, with infinite layers of reality that abide by only own steadfast rule: love is real. With all these potential universes, it was only a matter of time before twice Hugo Award nominated author, Dr. Chuck Tingle, began telling stories of love between ladybucks and their beautiful bigfoot, dinosaur, unicorn and living object partners.

Gilly’s days are packed to the brim, stuffed with so many activities and events that it’s difficult for her to focus. Soon enough, this mounting anxiety begins to show up in frustrating ways. Fortunately, Gilly’s social plans for the evening are unexpectedly cancelled, and she soon finds herself with a block of hours dedicated to getting her to-do list done. However, when these cancelled plans physically manifest as a beautiful, hovering calendar named Olga, Gilly quickly realizes that her evening might be more action-packed than she initially thought.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Megan has taken this opportunity to spill her feelings to her friend Alice in a very intimate card. She’s nervous, but fortunately it appears Alice could make the same romantic admission first. There are two candy hearts held within Alice’s envelope, each one of them featuring a startlingly explicit phrase. But is this a message from Alice, or from the candies themselves? The truth is quickly revealed when these sentient bisexual treats reveal their true desires.

Kendra’s been having a terrible day, and it only seems to be getting worse. Between the jammed drawer that kept her from eating breakfast, or the flat tire on her car, Kendra’s beginning to worry that her big presentation as work is headed for a similar dose of bad luck. Fortunately, on the way to the office Kendra stumbles upon the planet Mercury herself, and quickly discovers that these unfortunate circumstances may be linked to the fact that Mercury is in retrograde.

Lara is a small town girl with dreams of the big city, and when she finally saves up enough for a five day vacation in New York, she decides to plan out everything down to the minute. Unfortunately, from the second Lara lands, she finds herself immediately falling behind. Forced to change her tight schedule over and over again, Lara finally breaks down and declares that she hates New York City.

Jasmine is a big city girl who’s been dragged out to the rodeo for a friend’s birthday party, and she’s having trouble fitting in with the country lifestyle. When Jasmine meets a beautiful pterodactyl named Rimbler, however, she lets down her guard to talk a little trash on the festivities.

There is no denying that food and sex go hand in hand, and never has this been more apparent than with Chuck Tingle’s sizzling erotic collection Sentient Lesbian Food Gets Me Off. Collected within are the most mouthwatering tales of erotic food and drink that you will ever indulge in.