Tom Weekly

I'm Tom Weekly. This is a nail-biting – make that toe-biting – thrill ride through my life. This is where I pour out whatever's inside my head. Like the time a bloodthirsty magpie was out to get me, or when I had to eat Vegemite off my sister's big toe. And don't forget the day I ate 67 hot dogs in ten minutes. My life gets a bit weird sometimes but that's how I roll.

I'm Tom Weekly. If you want to know what went wrong, listen to this and laugh. You'll learn the secret of my strangest body part. You'll meet my super-angry grandpa, and hear about my best non-human friend, Rarnald the rat. You'll find out why I've been banned from KidsWorld. But that won't freak you out as much as the story of how Stella Holling tricked me into kissing her.

I'm Tom Weekly. You think you've made mistakes? I've made more. Every single word in this audiobook is true. I do know someone with the worst case of nits in history. Stella Holling used chocolate to trick me into kissing her again. My sister, Tanya, truly is an evil genius. And as weird as it sounds, I really did ask Jack to help me mine my teeth for cash. It's embarrassing, but it's true.

I'm Tom Weekly. If my life is an exploding chicken, this audiobook is my attempt to glue it back together. I have a few confessions. I've done a runner from the dentist. I'm petrified of clowns. Giant headlice tried to eat me. A lost sock nearly killed me. And you're not going to believe this, but I was attacked by Library Ninjas when my book was five years overdue. Let my life be a warning to you.

I'm Tom Weekly and eating is my favourite sport. My mum's raspberry muffins are weapons of minor destruction. I've been trapped inside a runaway car on a trip to buy ice cream. I accidentally invented meatball bungee. And my recipe for chocolate mousse has a secret ingredient that you don't even want to know.

Discover what happens when you mix one kid with nine attack possums. Observe the result of a guinea pig hostage situation. Learn from my get-rich-quick scheme to put Australia's angriest ice-cream man out of business. Get ready to judge the world's deadliest fruitcake competition. And if I survive it all, let's call the experiment a success.