Action Adventure Humor

Piers Anthony delivers another tale set in the best-selling world of Xanth, filled with magic, surprises, adventure, and a few puns. Here's what the author has to say about his new book: "Five Portraits is a kind of sequel to Board Stiff in that it picks up where the other leaves off, with the same characters. Apart from that, it's one of my favorites within the series.

Before the dungeons, before the dragons, there is the party.... Valeran is bored. Corbett is broke. Andreton and Donald are on the run and Dorian just wants to do what is right. Not the best recipe for a questing group but when you are driven by prophecy sometimes the mix is decided for you.

The town of Lake Woebegotton, MN is a small town, filled with ordinary (yet above average) people, leading ordinary lives. Ordinary, that is, until the dead start coming back to life, with the intent to feast upon the living! Now this small town of above average citizens must overcome their petty rivalries and hidden secrets in order to survive an onslaught of the dead.

Join us for epic adventures in the UP on land and lakes! Pirates, thieves, shipwrecks, sexy women, lost gold, and adventures on the Lake Superior frontier await you! In this audiobook, you’ll sail on a ship full of gold, outwit deadly shapeshifters, battle frontier outlaws, and even meet the mysterious agent that Andrew Jackson called "the meanest man" he ever knew. Packed with action, adventure, humor, and suspense, this audiobook has something for every listener.

In the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, on a chain of manmade islands, Steve Bennett and his best friend, Paul, find themselves thrust into a world they doesn't understand, when they stumble upon a secret that could change the world forever. Their discovery puts the two friends in the sights of conspirators and killers, who will stop at nothing to see their plans fulfilled. Steve and Paul must evade the killers, escape the islands and save the world. Of course, they have no training, no allies, and no idea what they're doing.

For most people, as they say, money makes the world go 'round. For Rory Honeyman, it's a different story. Having inadvertently and, almost without noticing, invented a new form of cash cow, money makes Rory's world go strangely pear-shaped and out-of-control.

After an eventful freshman year and a disastrous summer, fifteen-year-old Will Carter returns to Merrian High none the wiser. The year starts off pretty normally. He’s back on the football field (the bench area of the field). He and his boys start a fight club to defend themselves against Scary Terry Moss, who is out of juvie and hunting Carter. And he goes to homecoming again with Amber Lee.

Due to a temporary peace agreement between the Brotherhood and Corsican, Maxwell and Boris leave with the French and embark on an adventure that proves to be deadly, life-changing, and brutally hilarious.

Jackson Blackwell, The Shadowmaster, is in over his head this time. After his last adventure, where he tore fantasy novels a new one, Jackson has to deal with the repercussions of angry gods, angrier conspirators, and the wrath of his pregnant girlfriend! Thanks to a godly decree and a crafty clause, Jackson has been banished from his home. And the only universe kindly enough to take him in is one infested with comic-book-style superheroes and supervillains.

It was just supposed to be a quick trip to the pet store for some cat food, but the universe had other plans for Florence Valentine. Good for nothing kids and some annoying store employees were giving her a hard time, and then things got worse when she was killed by a delivery truck. Instead of angels, pearly gates, and eternal rewards, a voice in her head keeps telling her that she’s become a dungeon core, whatever that is.

Zany families, eccentric friends, and ne'er-do-well neighbors inhabit the labyrinthine lives of three women friends as they grapple with real-world events in one "Golden Year". An unwelcome visit from local law enforcement, a younger friend's romantic chaos, and the death of a parent combine with daily mundanities - laundry, scones, and senior sex - to create a walloping, raucous listen.

Gerald Dunwoody is a wizard. Just not a particularly good one. He's blown up a factory, lost his job, and there's a chance that he's not really a Third Grade wizard after all. So it's off to New Ottosland to be the new Court Wizard for King Lional. It's a shame that King Lional isn't the vain, self-centered young man he appeared to be. With a princess in danger, a talking bird who can't stay out of trouble, and a kingdom to save, Gerald soon suspects that he might be out of his depth.

All 16-year-old Cameron wants is to get through high school - and life in general - with a minimum of effort. It's not a lot to ask. But that's before he's given some bad news: he's sick and he's going to die. Which totally sucks. Hope arrives in the winged form of Dulcie, a loopy punk angel/possible hallucination with a bad sugar habit. She tells Cam there is a cure - if he's willing to go in search of it.

Hi, how are you? Yes, I am talking to you, the reader of this book's description. Okay, I get it, fourth-wall breaking is overdone. Get over it. This book, Villains Rule, is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. Not because it redefines the genre, far from it. But rather for what it contains. A villain's tale. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster, nor a hero thinly disguised as a villain. And not evil. If you want evil, take that nonsense to therapy.

Michael Carter is 12 years old. Right now, he and his fart brothers are in space, trying to save the president, and everything's going wrong. Every. Single. Thing. Larry is lost, but new unexpected allies are going to help the gang! Will they get rid of the gross zombies, once and for all? And the aliens? That’s a whole other story! They need to get rid of those, too.

Amid the political turmoil of the French Revolution, another revolution is taking place, an ambitious project to remeasure the Paris meridian, thus determining the precise distance from the North Pole to the equator in order to calculate a new base unit of length - the meter - establishing a rational system of measurement based on nature that will unite all people of all nations for all time.

Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.

Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he’s still astonished that he’s on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him - and he’s survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable.

Tuck and Ginger are two cats who get on each other's nerves. But they need to pause the claws if they’re to escape from the high-rise apartment where they are trapped. And escape they must, for their kidnappers – Rodney and Janice Burringo – are warty wicked witches who want to use Tuck and Ginger’s body parts to build the best witches’ cat in the world: a black Purrari.

Witness the epic battle of the cyclops! Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying. Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare! Buy some knickknacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later. On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world.