Action Adventure Humor

Finn Foley has a lunchbox, and when he opens it, weird things come out...like a seven-foot-tall robot and a strange, blinking device that glues itself to his chest. The lunchbox also opens wormholes—shortcuts through space—that take Finn to the farthest corners of the galaxy. Sounds awesome, right?

When Ren Sharpe was 14, she was kidnapped by a shadowy organization called FATE and trained to be a human weapon. Now, four years later, she receives her assignment: protect Gareth Young at all costs. Currently a student at Texas A&M, Gareth will someday change the world. FATE calls people like Gareth "FIPs" - future important people - and they're everywhere, each with a FATE-trained shadow.

Meet Peter Brown, a young Manhattan emergency room doctor with an unusual past that is just about to catch up with him. His morning begins with the quick disarming of a would-be mugger, followed by a steamy elevator encounter with a sexy young pharmaceutical rep, topped off by a visit with a new patient - and from there Peter's day is going to get a whole lot worse and a whole lot weirder.

Hi, how are you? Yes, I am talking to you, the reader of this book's description. Okay, I get it, fourth-wall breaking is overdone. Get over it. This book, Villains Rule, is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. Not because it redefines the genre, far from it. But rather for what it contains. A villain's tale. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster, nor a hero thinly disguised as a villain. And not evil. If you want evil, take that nonsense to therapy.

An ordinary, money-grubbing Merchant struggling to make a coin off penniless, incompetent adventurers is forced to take on the impossible quest of saving his town and rescuing the woman he loves from a treacherous and powerful Wizard. A battle of wit, wits and haggling that is part homage to, part skewer of the richly worked and often overwrought fantasy genre. An artful, satire of dungeon crawls and cRPG's, the Merchant Adventurer is part Princess Bride, part Dungeon Pawn Stars and a rollicking good read.

The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth. He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory. His name is Tom Parking. With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom’s fate is sealed: he’s been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.

Kids today spend way too much time in front of a screen. The numbers are alarming, and many experts on child development are urging parents to provide their children with some “non-screen” activity. Of course, if you’re a parent you know that’s easier said than done. Kids love video games because they’re fun and challenge them to explore, team up, and express their creativity. That’s exactly why our unique dog author, Cooper The Pooper, came up with a fantastic game of "Would You Rather" - a thought-provoking conversation game.

Tuck and Ginger are two cats who get on each other's nerves. But they need to pause the claws if they’re to escape from the high-rise apartment where they are trapped. And escape they must, for their kidnappers – Rodney and Janice Burringo – are warty wicked witches who want to use Tuck and Ginger’s body parts to build the best witches’ cat in the world: a black Purrari.

It's all here: the story of how Robin lost his birthright as the King's Ranger at Locksley, his archery feats at Nottingham, the outlaws' war with the Sheriff, Robin's pursuit of Marian, and many tales of bravery, rescue, laughter and rivalry with Little John, Friar Tuck, Allan-a-Dale, Much the Miller, Will Scarlett, and all the others.Now you can have this incomparable story read to you, in a gripping full stereo audio book. The story is adapted from the Paul Creswick text. It is faithful to the entire original story.

At Lily's annual Christmas costume party, a variety of strange events take place that lead Jo and Lily out of California forever - and into the mysterious, strange, fantastical world of Eldritch City. There, Jo learns the scandalous truth about who she is, and she and Lily join the Order of Odd-Fish, a collection of knights who research useless information.

Reverend Maloney isn't the world's greatest spiritual advisor. He drinks gin out of his coffee cup and has sex dreams about the Holy Ghost. His best friend Eli isn't perfect either, but he's a chess genius, so Maloney sees an opportunity in traveling around the country so Eli can win major chess tournament after chess tournament (while Maloney pockets Eli's winnings).

Daniel T. Drunk, Jr. if you really wanna know. And I’m on a plane headed to Paradise Isle on the trip of a lifetime. The occasion? My honeymoon. Except, there’s only one problem. I’m riding solo. It’s a really long story, and if you don’t mind, I’d prefer to leave it at that. Really? You must know? Fine, I get it. You’re the nosey type. Here’s the abbreviated version. I came within an inch of marrying a cheating slut. There. Get the picture? Good.

When the members of Witches Incorporated receive a visitor from an alternate reality, they are shocked to discover that Gerald Dunwoody is responsible for the chaos in this parallel world. This evil Gerald has turned into a raving tyrant whose use of black magic has made him unstoppable. Unfortunately for them, this problem is about to cross over to their world very quickly because evil Gerald is searching for new worlds to conquer.

It's Gerald Dunwoody's first official government assignment. He's hunting down a deadly saboteur, and time is quickly running out. Old and new enemies combine forces to thwart him. Once again, innocent lives are on the line. He needs his friends. He can't do this alone. But Princess Melissande and Reg have troubles of their own.

The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.

Get ready for the action-packed follow up to The Rules of Supervillainy. This time with zombies, zombified heroes and villains, cults, magic, super-science, a dragon, a giant Nazi robot, a Greek demigod, and so much more! Gary and Cloak have returned from the supervillain prison on the moon only to discover the city he plans to conquer and rule with an iron fist has been overrun with the living dead.

When Palmer Stoat notices the black pickup truck following him on the highway, he fears his precious Range Rover is about to be carjacked. But Twilly Spree, the man tailing Stoat, has vengeance, not sport-utility vehicles, on his mind. Idealistic, independently wealthy and pathologically short-tempered, Twilly has dedicated himself to saving Florida's wilderness from runaway destruction. He favors unambiguous political statements -- such as torching Jet-Skis or blowing up banks -- that leave his human targets shaken but re-educated.

Trenton, New Jersey, bounty hunter Stephanie Plum has inherited a "lucky" bottle from her Uncle Pip. Problem is, Uncle Pip didn't specify if the bottle brought good luck or bad luck.

When a college graduate with a history of hapless jobs reads Robert Louis Stevenson's novel Treasure Island, she is dumbstruck by the timid design of her life. When had she ever dreamed a scheme? When had she ever, like Jim Hawkins, broke from her friends, raced for the beach, stolen a boat, killed a man, and eliminated an obstacle that stood in the way of her getting a hunk of gold? Convinced that Stevenson's book is cosmically intended for her, she redesigns her life according to its Core Values: boldness, resolution, independence and horn-blowing.

Zany families, eccentric friends, and ne'er-do-well neighbors inhabit the labyrinthine lives of three women friends as they grapple with real-world events in one "Golden Year". An unwelcome visit from local law enforcement, a younger friend's romantic chaos, and the death of a parent combine with daily mundanities - laundry, scones, and senior sex - to create a walloping, raucous listen.