Action Adventure Humor

David Markham, a Vietnam-era veteran, and a regular computer geek, wants to shoot guns, blow up stuff, have access to every digital device on Earth, end terrorism, eat breakfast at Lowell's, and watch football, especially the Seattle Seahawks. Only his computer - Igor - knows how much money he has. Igor is the real brains of the operation. The computer organizes everything by having access to every computer and device on the planet including printers, cameras, microphones, GPS, and other satellite data. If David wants something done, Igor gets it done.

Ron Lionel is the hottest creator working in comic books today. Joe Cotter, on the other hand, gave up his dreams of being a writer years ago and now lives for a steady paycheck as the security chief for America's Finest Comic Book Expo. Enter Velma, an obsessed fan with some disturbing questions about Lionel's series The Enduring. When her righteous plan to gather answers backfires, the two men are swept into a dangerous world where heroes and villains don't come from spider bites or alien planets and don't have simple back stories.

Every cheap little barbarian movie deserves a sequel. But abiding by the laws of straight-to-video sword and sorcery, the sequel doesn’t always continue the story. They’re crazier, funny, and often far removed from the mythology laid down by the film which preceded them. So, in keeping with this formula comes Sword Dude 2. The continuing adventures of the hero also known as the Dude of Swords. He’s back, by popular demand, fighting, killing, playing it cool, and saving the girl in this phantasmagoric romp into realms fantastic.

A tale of obsession, with an incredibly low budget. If Peter Benchley were to translate the works of Melville and Hemingway, this is how it might turn out. If he couldn’t afford a white whale. Or a marlin. Or a great white shark. If the only fish he could obsess about were, perhaps, a carp.

After being approached by the military with a contract he couldn't refuse, James winds up uploaded into a virtual-reality game as a beta tester. Waking up in the Great Savanna, James struggles with a less-than-useful interface before he comes across two creatures locked in battle. The shoulder-high grass allows him glimpses of a lionesque creature fending off a torrent of scales and claws. He grows to love the beauty of the Great Savanna and his adopted game brother, whose life he saved.... That is until Patrick arrives and the tranquility of the game is shattered.

This audiobook is intended for children of all ages. It is set in 1959, but in a parallel universe, starring Albert, an eternally youthful 77-year-old, and his 7-year-old best friend, Wilber. Join them on their many surreal adventures as Albert seeks to cling onto his youth and find the answer of a lifetime. Three wild days in Albert's world full of imaginative scenery and quirky characters, combined with plenty of good old-fashioned 1950's boyhood charm, will leave you wondering what could possibly happen next.

That international jet-setter, super spy, and master of intrigue, James Bland, has been thrilling audiences and seducing women for the past 50-plus years. Now he must face a mission so terrifying, so dangerous in its breadth and scope, that Bland may have met his match. Great Britain may be in serious financial trouble if a coalition of former lovers successfully sues for back child support. Bland must meet all the girls he's loved before and convince them not to destroy the British crown!

When Hollywood producer Zane Galvin’s failed movie leaves him with a $5 million debt and 30 days to pay it off, he goes to unpredictable extremes to raise the money. Joining in on his scheme are Zane’s girlfriend, his gardener, the film’s writer, and the director. The plan quickly turns into a wicked game of switching sides, blackmail, betrayal, and greed. Will anyone come out a winner?

Amiah is given the opportunity to discover what true adventuring is like. She ends up participating in person rather than merely reading about it in a book or watching it in a movie. Something terrible has happened to the lidra of Ti's Nest and it is up to Amiah to help her friends through harrowing and comical challenges that take on a creepy edge when they realize the enemy they are up against is a spider-like people. Perhaps the privilege of riding a giant saber tooth cat will make it worth it!

Bernie LeBaron is already a scrawny 13-year-old magnet for misfortune. But when his father pawns him off on relatives after his mother dies and he accidentally takes a picture of a man carrying a dead body through the woods, Bernie’s life becomes truly miserable. Now he must discover who the murderer is while staying out of trouble so that his father doesn’t take him away. Will the fates decide to salvage the miserable life of Bernie LeBaron?

Violet's in her element. Cosplay at the ready, she can't wait to feel part of her favorite fandom: The Gallows Dance, a mega book and movie franchise that she and her friends know every word of (canon and fanfic included). But at Comic Con, a freak accident transports Violet and her friends into the story for real. And in just the first five minutes, they cause the death of the heroine, and get taken prisoner by the rebel group she was supposed to lead to victory. It's up to Violet to take her place...but when you change the script in one place, the rest gets revised too....

When Peter Smith’s classmate snaps a picture of him during a late night run at the track, Peter thinks he might be in trouble. When she posts that photo - along with the caption “See the Pretty Boy Run” - Peter knows he’s in trouble. But when hostiles drop through the ceiling of his sixth-period chem class, Peter’s pretty sure his trouble just became a national emergency. Because he’s not really Peter Smith. He’s Jake Morrow, former foster kid turned CIA operative.

The story is about a dog called Hat Dog, a famous model who is kidnapped by Calor Gas, an evil dog. He holds her for ransom. There is one dog who can save her. His name is Mike Wild, the best spy dog in the world, or so he says. Wild has to exchange one million bones for her release in Monte Carlo, but there are many twists and turns on the way, such as stopping in Paris and using his gadgets. With a little help from his friends, he gets the job done!

Farmer Eben Smith heads off to the big city to trade his wagonload of produce. But he barters a lot more than goods after he stumbles across a strange crossroads in time, bargains with different cultures in alternate realities, and accidentally wreaks havoc and chaos in each.

Mean Girls meets Life of Pi in this darkly humorous, compulsively listenable teen novel that's perfect for fans of Libba Bray and Andrew Smith. A hilariously dark and twisted story that sparkles with a remarkably fresh voice, The Lifeboat Clique is Kathy Parks' irreverent yet insightful novel about how to survive in the most unthinkable circumstances.

Zombies. The living dead. They are evil incarnate, here to terrorize your life. Except that they aren't. And they don't. It turns out that everything that we thought we knew about zombies, thanks to movies and books and television and such, was wrong. I should know. I see and deal with them on a daily basis. It's my job. I work for the Federal Office of Organizing Dining for Zombies, or F.O.O.D.Z. for short. Oh, and my job sucks. My name is Cassandra Cole. Welcome to my world.

The three lead characters of Three for the Money are Canadian Anthony James, American Tommy Sanderson, and Scotish Steve Hughs. On their retirement from militariy intelligence, after WWII, Tony has convinced these gentle giants to join him in an advertising agency back in Montreal. Tony meets Catherine Rothschild, beautiful and sophistocated, in the company of Susan and Jim Taylor. There's a murder of course. Jim, an agency client and Tony's good friend, is found poisoned after a dinner party at the Taylor mansion.

Neurotic tech Zagarat Cole had no choice but to steal 432,985 credits from the Deus Syndicate. It was the only way to pay for his mother's medical treatments. So, when a Deus executive called Zag into his office, he knew the jig was up. Or down. Or however it was you danced a jig. Yet to Zag's astonishment, the executive didn't excoriate, eviscerate, or "ate" him at all. He offered him a job.

Best friends Stephen and Marco attempt a go-for-broke heist to break into the high school prom and get Marco onstage to confess his love for (and hopefully steal the heart of) Benji, the adorable exchange student and bass player of the prom band.

Imagine how bored you would be doing the same job for the last 2000 years. Simon, the Demon's next soul-delivery client, is petrified to find himself in Hell, especially as he is in the charge of the sarcastic, couldn't-care-less Demon who is on a performance improvement plan. What follows is a chaotic, irreverent trip through the afterlife, an assignment to Earth, and a student exchange program to Heaven at the bidding of Beelzebub. This is a raucous tale with a twist that you won't see coming.