Action Adventure Humor

Hi, how are you? Yes, I am talking to you, the reader of this book's description. Okay, I get it, fourth-wall breaking is overdone. Get over it. This book, Villains Rule, is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. Not because it redefines the genre, far from it. But rather for what it contains. A villain's tale. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster, nor a hero thinly disguised as a villain. And not evil. If you want evil, take that nonsense to therapy.

Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he’s still astonished that he’s on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him - and he’s survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable.

Professional, experienced contract burglar. It’s not exactly something you can put on a business card. Molly Miranda has made a successful living from “acquiring” valuables and delivering them to clients who pay buckets of cash for her unique services. So what if she has to lie about her lavish lifestyle in Manhattan and her frequent trips out of the country? Molly has everything under control.

It's hard to find work as a doctor when using your real name will get you killed. So hard that when a reclusive billionaire offers Dr. Peter Brown, aka Pietro Brnwa, a job accompanying a sexy but self-destructive paleontologist on the world's worst field assignment, Brown has no real choice but to say yes. Even if it means that an army of murderers, mobsters, and international drug dealers - not to mention the occasional lake monster - are about to have a serious Pietro Brnwa problem.

Gerald Dunwoody is a wizard. Just not a particularly good one. He's blown up a factory, lost his job, and there's a chance that he's not really a Third Grade wizard after all. So it's off to New Ottosland to be the new Court Wizard for King Lional. It's a shame that King Lional isn't the vain, self-centered young man he appeared to be. With a princess in danger, a talking bird who can't stay out of trouble, and a kingdom to save, Gerald soon suspects that he might be out of his depth.

Reverend Maloney isn't the world's greatest spiritual advisor. He drinks gin out of his coffee cup and has sex dreams about the Holy Ghost. His best friend Eli isn't perfect either, but he's a chess genius, so Maloney sees an opportunity in traveling around the country so Eli can win major chess tournament after chess tournament (while Maloney pockets Eli's winnings).

Imagine you’re the Pandora of myth and legend. The Greek chick with the box. Now imagine it’s your duty (and your curse) to gather up all the evil you set free and put it where it belongs - back into the box you were tricked into opening all those millennia ago. Add to the mix the world’s first rock star, an immortal villainess with a kink for poisons, and a management shakeup in the Underworld. Now imagine your box has been stolen.

When the 13th Classroom is struck by purple lightning, something strange happens - all of the students get superpowers! You might think this was superb, but it was not. (It was sorta silly.) With great gifts comes wild weather, giant roaches, atomic farts, and other tricky troubles. As the students of Classroom 13 are about to learn, getting superpowers is not always super.

When Thomas wakes up in a dark elevator, he has no idea where he is, or even who he is! But he soon finds out he's trapped in a giant maze with 50 dudes and no chicks. That's right, no chicks. Welcome to the Sausage Fest. Faced with this horrible nightmare, Thomas must figure out how to escape. But until then, he'll be shoveling lots of klunk and hangin' with lots of dudes.

There’s no rule book for this deadly game. When Samantha’s friend and sometimes boss AJ Gunn is accused of murdering the star quarterback for the Oregon pro-team she knows three things: No way is AJ guilty even if he doesn’t have a solid alibi, this is not a one gal PI gig, she’s going to need help, and rich people are crazy. If Samantha thought she was out of her element in Wind River, investigating in a new town is like working in a foreign land. Looking for a real suspect, Samantha meets a host of powerful characters with deep pockets and dark secrets.

What’s stronger than magic itself? A Brownstone with a mission. Brownstone security continues cleansing Seattle’s magical mobster underbelly while Alison draws strength from her trusted circle as she fights off the virus draining her powers. She uncovers the smuggling of magical pets and the harmful side effects of testing savage spells on humans and still has time to chase down her enemies. It’s dirty, dangerous work and leaves her friends the targets of vicious attacks. Not smart, bad guys. Do you even know who you are messing with?

When ex-boxer turned strip club bouncer Reggie Levine is recruited to retrieve a Chinese crested terrier from a fleapit roadside zoo, where the ugly mutt has been mistaken for the Chupacabra, our hapless hero soon finds himself embroiled in a deadly criminal conspiracy.

Soul searching was an unfamiliar exercise to Bill Stratton, and he found it intriguing as well as painful. He hadn't had much occasion for it in his life, given that he was fairly shallow, but then, on the verge of his 60th birthday, his wife told him she was leaving him for another man.

Trenton, New Jersey, bounty hunter Stephanie Plum has inherited a "lucky" bottle from her Uncle Pip. Problem is, Uncle Pip didn't specify if the bottle brought good luck or bad luck.

Daniel T. Drunk, Jr. if you really wanna know. And I’m on a plane headed to Paradise Isle on the trip of a lifetime. The occasion? My honeymoon. Except, there’s only one problem. I’m riding solo. It’s a really long story, and if you don’t mind, I’d prefer to leave it at that. Really? You must know? Fine, I get it. You’re the nosey type. Here’s the abbreviated version. I came within an inch of marrying a cheating slut. There. Get the picture? Good.

The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth. He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory. His name is Tom Parking. With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom’s fate is sealed: he’s been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.

À la pizzeria, le petit méchant loup passe commande au grand méchant loup. Avec gourmandise, il choisit des ingrédients. Mais le grand méchant loup ne veut pas suivre cette recette à la lettre. Un récit qui éveille l'appétit... pour les contes de fées ! Une histoire pour les petits à raconter ou à écouter.

When sociologist Nalini Jackson joins the SS Delany for the first manned mission to Jupiter, all she wants is a career opportunity: the chance to conduct the first field study of group dynamics on long-haul cryoships. But what she discovers instead is an entire city encased in a bubble on Europa, Jupiter’s largest moon.

When a college graduate with a history of hapless jobs reads Robert Louis Stevenson's novel Treasure Island, she is dumbstruck by the timid design of her life. When had she ever dreamed a scheme? When had she ever, like Jim Hawkins, broke from her friends, raced for the beach, stolen a boat, killed a man, and eliminated an obstacle that stood in the way of her getting a hunk of gold? Convinced that Stevenson's book is cosmically intended for her, she redesigns her life according to its Core Values: boldness, resolution, independence and horn-blowing.

Farrah "Digit" Higgins may be going to MIT in the fall, but this L.A. high school genius has left her geek self behind in another school district so she can blend in with the popular crowd at Santa Monica High and actually enjoy her senior year. But when Farrah, the daughter of a UCLA math professor, unknowingly cracks a terrorist group's number sequence, her laid-back senior year gets a lot more interesting. Soon she is personally investigating the case, on the run from terrorists, and faking her own kidnapping - all while trying to convince a young, hot FBI agent to take her seriously.