Action Comedy Fantasy

Hi, how are you? Yes, I am talking to you, the reader of this book's description. Okay, I get it, fourth-wall breaking is overdone. Get over it. This book, Villains Rule, is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. Not because it redefines the genre, far from it. But rather for what it contains. A villain's tale. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster, nor a hero thinly disguised as a villain. And not evil. If you want evil, take that nonsense to therapy.

We can't say much, but we can say this: Skulduggery and Valkyrie are going to team up with beloved characters from the first nine audiobooks as well as an all-new cast, including new teen costar Omen Darkly, for an adventure that takes the story to truly global proportions...while answering questions that go right back to the beginning.

Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.

Ruddy McCann, former college football star, has experienced a seismic drop in popularity; he is now Kalkaska, Michigan’s full-time repo man and part-time bar bouncer. His best friend is his low-energy Basset hound Jake, with whom he shares a simple life of stealing cars. Simple, that is, until Ruddy starts hearing a voice in his head. The voice introduces himself as Alan Lottner, a dead realtor. Ruddy isn’t sure if Alan is real, or if he’s losing his mind.

It's all here: the story of how Robin lost his birthright as the King's Ranger at Locksley, his archery feats at Nottingham, the outlaws' war with the Sheriff, Robin's pursuit of Marian, and many tales of bravery, rescue, laughter and rivalry with Little John, Friar Tuck, Allan-a-Dale, Much the Miller, Will Scarlett, and all the others.Now you can have this incomparable story read to you, in a gripping full stereo audio book. The story is adapted from the Paul Creswick text. It is faithful to the entire original story.

Meet Lady Macbeth - a high school librarian, ex-assassin, and part-time kelpie, whose mother wanted to name her Hemorrhoid at birth. Now she has to take on a Sea Hag - eight legs of Godzilla-ugly poured into a bucket full of meanness - with the help of a one-woman army named Rhonda, a 200-year-old sea captain, and a hunky lighthouse keeper who won't admit that he's dead as well. Kelpie Dreams is a funny, action-packed, shoot-em-up paranormal romance novel for folks who hate romance novels.

Jackson Blackwell, The Shadowmaster, is in over his head this time. After his last adventure, where he tore fantasy novels a new one, Jackson has to deal with the repercussions of angry gods, angrier conspirators, and the wrath of his pregnant girlfriend! Thanks to a godly decree and a crafty clause, Jackson has been banished from his home. And the only universe kindly enough to take him in is one infested with comic-book-style superheroes and supervillains.

Before the dungeons, before the dragons, there is the party.... Valeran is bored. Corbett is broke. Andreton and Donald are on the run and Dorian just wants to do what is right. Not the best recipe for a questing group but when you are driven by prophecy sometimes the mix is decided for you.

The Taylor Turbochaser is a road-trip roller coaster...with a twist. At its heart is the unforgettable Amy Taylor. Amy loves cars, and dreams of being a driver. But there’s a major catch: her slow old wheelchair with its broken wheel. When Amy finally gets a new electric one, it’s exciting...at first. But standard engines only have so much power. And that’s where Rahul comes in - Amy’s best friend and genius inventor. Soon Rahul turns a wheelchair into...a supercar!

Somehow, Brandon Andrew Morgan survived the Omega Vaccine and the total collapse of society that followed it. And yes, he’s just as surprised about it as you are. But while his brother is off to unknown adventures, Brandon has decided to stick around, make a life for himself, and care for his best buds as they transition to their new lives as vampires.

The plan seemed simple enough. Shoot all of the members with a specially designed gun that not only subdued them but also tagged them with a locator chip. Once they were tagged, the bad guys were automatically teleported away and delivered to the interior of Mars.

When the members of Witches Incorporated receive a visitor from an alternate reality, they are shocked to discover that Gerald Dunwoody is responsible for the chaos in this parallel world. This evil Gerald has turned into a raving tyrant whose use of black magic has made him unstoppable. Unfortunately for them, this problem is about to cross over to their world very quickly because evil Gerald is searching for new worlds to conquer.

It's Gerald Dunwoody's first official government assignment. He's hunting down a deadly saboteur, and time is quickly running out. Old and new enemies combine forces to thwart him. Once again, innocent lives are on the line. He needs his friends. He can't do this alone. But Princess Melissande and Reg have troubles of their own.

Zombies and Calculus is the account of Craig Williams, a math professor at a small liberal arts college in New England, who, in the middle of a calculus class, finds himself suddenly confronted by a late-arriving student whose hunger is not for knowledge. As the zombie virus spreads and civilization crumbles, Williams uses calculus to help his small band of survivors defeat the hordes of the undead.

Make friends,” the A.I. said. Gemini Fowler did. Now, the stakes have been raised, and Gemini is irate. Stripped of his gear and returned to the village where it all started, he must follow a long road filled with peril and quests to level up and recover the companion he lost. Soon, he’ll see Enora is much more than a dark forest, and his adventure has hardly begun. Can he reach Roshan before the mysterious governor’s men arrive at the tyrant’s stronghold and she is lost to him forever?

When sociologist Nalini Jackson joins the SS Delany for the first manned mission to Jupiter, all she wants is a career opportunity: the chance to conduct the first field study of group dynamics on long-haul cryoships. But what she discovers instead is an entire city encased in a bubble on Europa, Jupiter’s largest moon.

Imagine you’re the Pandora of myth and legend. The Greek chick with the box. Now imagine it’s your duty (and your curse) to gather up all the evil you set free and put it where it belongs - back into the box you were tricked into opening all those millennia ago. Add to the mix the world’s first rock star, an immortal villainess with a kink for poisons, and a management shakeup in the Underworld. Now imagine your box has been stolen.

What’s stronger than magic itself? A Brownstone with a mission. Brownstone security continues cleansing Seattle’s magical mobster underbelly while Alison draws strength from her trusted circle as she fights off the virus draining her powers. She uncovers the smuggling of magical pets and the harmful side effects of testing savage spells on humans and still has time to chase down her enemies. It’s dirty, dangerous work and leaves her friends the targets of vicious attacks. Not smart, bad guys. Do you even know who you are messing with?

Farmer Eben Smith heads off to the big city to trade his wagonload of produce. But he barters a lot more than goods after he stumbles across a strange crossroads in time, bargains with different cultures in alternate realities, and accidentally wreaks havoc and chaos in each.

Penniless, homeless, and virtually lifeless, the vagrant “Doughface” Jack is about to discover that where medical marvels meet the mysteries of the human mind, amazing things happen. The Tramp acquires a capability beyond his imagination and without equal on Earth. Riding the rails, Jack runs afoul of a local sheriff and ends up with a crushed skull. He’s as good as dead until a savvy country doctor performs a bit of medical magic.